Feeling Hatred Towards Yourself? How To Stop Hating Yourself

 Self-hatred is something we all have experienced during our childhood or teen years when we used to compare ourselves with other children. Self-hatred or self-loathing is not something that you are born with, nor it is something that you only experience in childhood but it can hit you at any age.

So what exactly "self-hatred" or "self-loathing" is?

According to Psychology Today: Self-hatred encompasses the feeling of guilt, shame, anger towards oneself when we compare ourselves to others or when we only focus on the negative instead of the positive.

"Oh look, he has such a big house!", "I want to be rich like him!" or "Why am I not fit like her?"

Comments like these put a major impact on our mental health which in turn causes us depression, loneliness, and hatred towards everybody.

Did you also felt lost after coming home with all those negative thoughts being planted by someone else in your mind about you and you didn't know how to react?

I know how it feels, the pain in your chest, all the muscles clenched with sweaty hands, you want to say a lot but can't... I too struggled through these emotions.

The feeling of self-hatred often ends up having major health issues such as depression, anxiety, anger issues, etc that can lead to self-sabotage or even self-harm.
Also, it is not necessary that when someone will pass an unnecessary comment on you only then you would start self-loathing or start disrespecting yourself.
Besides the outer signs, there are many emotional symptoms too which proves that you hate yourself.

If you are unsure about the symptoms of self-hatred, read out here and see if you can relate to them!

  • You are your own worst enemy- While it's okay to boost yourself when you are low, but criticizing yourself can be your worst enemy as your mind adapts what you say and most of the time you are thinking negatively which in turn creates your reality.

  • You feel insecure around others- This is because whenever you are around someone who is doing better than you, you start comparing yourself to them without even realizing that you both have different goals and dreams to achieve.

  • You don't take time to care for yourself- Do you care about yourself? If you don't make time for yourself, you do not exercise, you do not sleep on time, you do not eat right then you don't care about yourself and you don't even bother to make time for yourself.

  • You always focus on the negative- No matter what good happens with you or how much you have accomplished in your life, but your main focus is always on all the mishappenings around you that cannot let you see the good in a bad thing.

  • You don't take compliments- Firstly, you don't compliment or appreciate yourself, then if someone compliments you you don't accept them and instead say; "No, I know I am not beautiful" or "I am fat!"

If all these points sound familiar, then there is no need to panic. You can remove self-hatred from within and start loving yourself right now.

How To Stop Hating Yourself And Start A New Journey Towards Self-Love

As we grow up, we have certain frameworks and notions set up by our parents, relatives, and society under which we have to live and spend the rest of our lives. This framework consists of several judgments about what is acceptable and what is not!

Have you also heard this in your family that doing a 9-5 job is important to make money, irrespective of your talent, dreams, creativity, and worth?

I am sure you might have because these are the judgments passed by a society that if a girl does not get married by a certain age, she would not find the right guy! 
All these taunts, humiliation, negative comments make us do something which is not right and we end up falling into this trap.

So, to reinvent yourself you must have to stop falling and start getting up:

  • Introspect yourself-

Also known as self-analysis, is a wonderful method to examine your strengths and weaknesses. Ask yourself these three questions and find what is best for you and you will understand what triggers you and makes you happy.

Don't know how to start introspecting yourself? 

  • Self-hatred comes from judgment- 

We all set some goals and deadlines for ourselves and when we are unable to meet them, we beat ourselves up. While setting S.M.A.R.T goals is necessary to achieve success but the goals should be relevant and logical and if by chance, you couldn't meet the deadline then instead of being guilty start learning from your mistakes. You must understand that all these judgments are made by you solely, and only you know how to make the most of it.

  • Counting your blessings- 

Now that we know that hate comes from all those judgments and negative talks, it's time to change your perspective. A self-hatred is a destructive form of not satisfied with what you have. When you will count your blessings you will start becoming satisfied with what you have.

  • Start accepting compliments- 
If someone compliments you, accept it and say "Thank you". They might have seen something extraordinary in you which you cannot see right now. Notice that and feel happy!

  • Surround yourself with happy people- 

Self-hatred can make you feel lonely and depressed so it's important to make those friends or be with such people who bring out the best in you and accept you for who you are. In this way, you will start feeling happier and less lonely.
  • Forgive yourself

You may forgive someone because you love them? But what about you? How many times have you hurt yourself by replaying that sad song which brings back your past? We think playing a sad song or watching a sad movie is soothing us when we are feeling low but, subconsciously it is hurting us even more. So stop being a bad person for yourself and forgive yourself for every time you have hurt yourself.

I always wished that I could find someone as beautiful as you, but in the process I forgot that I was special too.- Madonna 

Final Thoughts

Why hate yourself when only you are your best friend? 
Self-hatred will not go in one day, it will take time, however practicing the above-mentioned steps every day will make your journey towards self-love easy.

Today we have learned how destructive self-hatred can be, so it's important to start loving and accepting yourself.
If you think that the symptoms of self-loathing have taken away your mental peace, then you must take professional help!



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