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Have you ever felt like a victim? Do you self-pity all the time?
Do you think the whole world is against you and no one seems to care about you?
Well if you do so or if you know someone who always thinks he is helpless and powerless then it may be because of victim mentality.
Who is a victim?
A victim is someone who has been robbed, attacked, humiliated, tortured physically. But when someone intentionally tries to divert the situation around himself, we might say, "He is playing a victim card!" Why? Because we can easily understand that nothing has happened to him or nobody tortured him, still he is self-pitying himself for no reason.
In general, we all are victims. At one point or other, we all have felt helpless. While some of us ditched our helplessness and stood firm but others couldn't leave their victim mindset.
Signs of a victim mentality
Not everyone purposely plays a sympathy card, sometimes they don't know how to overcome a situation that leads to them being a victim. To know if you have a victim mindset or not, you must read the signs below:
- You feel everyone is against you.
- You accept your situation as it is.
- You don't do anything to come out of the unwanted situation.
- You blame others for your loss.
- You react annoyingly to negative feedback and criticism.
- You feel good when someone pity you.
- You constantly indulge in pessimistic self-talk and self-pity.
- You try to take sympathy from others.
How to ditch the victim mentality
You can stop feeling like a victim permanently and can emotionally build yourself up using the 5 easy ways:
1. Be willing to change the situation
As soon as you get into an unwanted situation like losing a job, running out of money, gaining weight, or whatever it is, be willing to change it.
Don't just sit around a corner and vent. While it's okay to cry or be sad about your situation, but you cannot do it continuously. Have the courage and willingness to change any negative situation into a positive one.
2. Stay away from negative people
The next thing you can do to change your victim mindset into a mentally strong person is when you stay away from negative people. Your surroundings define who you are. Even if don't want to be a victim, you may still end up being a sufferer if you keep on letting people attack you.
Related: Cope up with negativity around you
3. Practice Forgiveness
Forgiving others can be hard when they have hurt us in the past. But the most challenging part is forgiving ourselves. You need to forgive and set yourself free to feel free and happy. When you don't let go of your past mistakes you tend to self-pity which then leads to being a victim. You must understand that replaying the past scenarios won't change anything in your present but will definitely take away your happiness.
4. Take a break
When we start something new it can be tough. Some days are OK while most days are full of stress and anxiety. In that case, taking a mental break can prove to be a great advantage for us. When you emotionally take a break from all those thoughts that are running in your mind, you feel relaxed and calm. So, take a mental break whenever you feel it is necessary for you.
5. Empower yourself with positive self-affirmations
Having a victim mentality may cause you to do negative self-talk all the time which ultimately lowers your self-confidence. When you start repeating positive self-affirmations with "I am" and "I can" you feel energized, positive, and happy. Positive self-affirmations are extremely powerful and can help you change your negative thought patterns into positive ones.
Final Words
You can achieve a strong mindset and ditch the victim mode once you know you are a victim who constantly lowers his/her energy down and those of others. Having a victim mindset doesn't mean you are a bad person, it only means you don't know how to change your helplessness into hopefulness.
Practice these steps with self-love, compassion, and kindness and you can shift your personality.
When you are indulged in pursuing your career goals, or fitness goals, or home duties, sometimes you forget who you are! While the sense of accomplishment you get feels good but it's important to focus on your mental health too.
The moment you wake up, you start calculating your day's duties and responsibilities without even being grateful for the same day. It's not that you are a selfish and ungrateful person, but amidst everything going on in your life, how many times have you taken care of yourself?
Do you take time out of your busy schedule to do a head massage? or How many times do you visit the salon for a hair spa?
Giving yourself a mental break is as necessary as meeting your deadlines. People, in general, believe that if they won't do as much hard work as others do, they might lag behind.
But you need to ensure that your competition is not with anyone else, but with yourself. So you need to take timely breaks to recharge and reset yourself.
Here are 8 healthy ways to give yourself a mental break so you won't stress out:
1.Prioritize restful activities- What are restful activities? A downtime or a restful activity is that which provides you comfort and relaxation. Which activity do you like to enjoy the most?
Be it going outside to take a walk, or binging onto your favorite show, or dancing to a piece of good music whatever it is that makes you happy and that provides a break to your brain should be your priority. You should know that prioritizing these activities won't cost you enough money or your job.
2. Sleep More- We have always been listening to this phrase that a good sleep comprises of 7-8 hours and we must sleep for this affixed amount of time. Some finish their work as early as possible and sleep peacefully at night while others find it difficult to sleep.
If you also cannot sleep adequately at night, you can take a small nap in the daytime. If you have something important to finish and you are sitting in front of your laptop since morning, it's okay to set your work aside and take a small nap break to reset yourself. Sometimes you may wonder- "I should complete my work first, then I will do some other thing." While it's good that you are serious about your work, but continuously sitting and doing work will make you fatigued which can impact the quality of your work.
3. Feed yourself with positivity- There are many days when we don't have any actual reason to be sad or worried but still we are stressed. Does this happen to you also? A possible reason behind unknown sadness can be some negative thoughts/phrases/news/quotes/films or anything related to that.
Think and try to examine which source gave you negativity and from then onwards change it into positivity. Always try to read something positive every day. Before going to bed or when you wake up, read a positive quote, and see yourself feeling fresh and relaxed.
4. Set aside all the financial worries- For one day, try to NOT think about your expenses, money that you owe to someone, financial bills, etc. Understand that worrying about your expenses won't going to sort it out or make you poor. So why trouble yourself by thinking about financial issues?
Just keep aside all the financial issues that are bothering you, and relax. When you will be relaxed you can think of better ideas to deal with a challenging situation. Never make it a constant practice of worrying and getting stressed about paying your bills or expenses. The expenses would remain the same only. So, start taking a mental break from such issues that hamper your peace of mind.
5. Stop multitasking- A study conducted at Stanford University stated how multitasking causes us stress and anxiety. We mostly do 3-4 tasks at once in order to finish them as quickly as possible. But we don't realize that when we are bombarded with several tasks at once, we lose our focus, memory, and productivity.
Do one thing at once, if you are writing something, first complete it then edit it. As when you will devote your attention to too many tasks at once, your creativity will be inhibited which will impact your work and thus cause you stress.
Take a mental break from multitasking and do one task at a particular time.
6. Release and burn your emotions- On a daily basis, we carry a lot with us, betrayals, failures, family problems, relationship issues, money, health, career, and what not! Every time when we solve one issue, the other stands in front of us causing our mind to work non-stop. Though already our brain is in the process of creating thoughts. However, when any unwanted situation stands up, we become negative.
To relax and reset our mental power, we need to release those emotions and burn them.
How can we do so? Here is a 3-step-guide for you:
- Sit down comfortably and grab a pen and paper.
- Start writing down whatever is coming into your mind. All those negative thoughts, criticism, someone made you feel low, whatever is coming in your head, jot it down.
- Then stand up, get a matchstick, and burn that paper. Understand that it is normal and watch the paper is burning along with your negative sentiments.
Try it out once and you would feel relaxed, calm, and better by burning that paper.
7. Switch off gadgets- Usually, adults spend most of their time on phones and other tech gadgets. Everywhere you go, you would find people either scrolling their news feed or capturing the best shot. Social media and technology have made our life easier but it has also impacted our health. We tend to compare ourselves with people, might watch disturbing news that affects our entire day, and much more.
You need to be conscious when you are picking gadgets. It's okay if your taking it for guilty pleasures but should also know when are you going to use it and what sort of information you would grasp from it!
8. Take mini-breaks- Doing small acts for your personal well-being is never a bad idea. You should know when to shut off the work and spend time by yourself. Schedule your work timings and break timings. This way your mind will not get tired and you will also increase your productivity level.
You can try out the Pomodoro Technique where you can do your work for 25 minutes and then you can take a break for 5 minutes. This is an easy way of not getting emotionally exhausted.
Final Words
To combat stress and negativity, you need to give yourself a mental break so that you can live a simpler, healthier, and happier life!
Have something else to add to the list?
In our life, we all have been to a point where everything went wrong, nothing worked in our favor and then we got sad and frustrated.
We try to control the situation, hold our emotions in front of our family, and cry out loud by soaking our face against the pillow.
I know this feeling is terrible when we feel like- "I am Worthless!", "I am a burden to my family!"
At that moment we only want peace! Peace inside our heart, mind, and everywhere around us.
When we are hit back by a sudden change or a negative situation that is not in our control, we are often surrounded by negative emotions.
I would say it's okay to feel worthless at some point- because only then you would be able to recognize your true self.
However, continuously repeating negative self-talk and feeling bad about yourself will lead you to more negative situations.
Let's think of what you can do when you are feeling low, sad, and worthless.
Here are the top 07 things to remember whenever you feel worthless:
1. This feeling is temporary-
Before you make up your mind based on the current emotions that you are feeling-remember that it is as temporary as the weather. Just as the climate changes from cold to hot then again gets into the freezing zone the same way our emotions step up.
When something good happens to us we feel happy, when something doesn't happen according to our own will, we feel sad or depressed.
Do not let your brain control you and do not take any permanent action because of a temporary feeling.
2. Think of something positive-
Being in a vulnerable state often takes us into the depressing zone and we over-analyze every small thing. Either we bring something hurtful from the past or we overthink about a comment someone made on our social media.
Of course, it's hard to think of those things that are already working out and which we don't even know about. Our mind catches more of what we already feel. So, to think positive first you have to speak positive and feel positive.
You can try practicing positive self-talk and also read this article that can guide you to focus more on positivity.
3. You are perfect in your way-
There can never be a person as unique as you. Do not think that you are a bad person and feel guilty about yourself. Negative situations come in everyone's life but they are meant to make us stronger and wiser.
Do not ever feel like you are not made for this world. Think about your loved ones, your family, and those who are connected to you. They love you the way you are.
Instead of feeling worthless, make them proud, and love yourself more every day.
Related: Reasons to love yourself
4. Find your purpose-
Life will twist you up, will shake you up, and make you feel uncomfortable but that's how life works. Even if you don't feel like it now, but you do have a purpose, a reason- why you are here!
It's okay to not knowing everything about your purpose or your future, but believing in it and setting good intentions within yourself will take you closer to your dreams.
Bad things happen so that you can challenge yourself and lift yourself. Instead of quitting and feeling depressed, ask yourself- "Why you are here?" "What is your purpose?"
Asking yourself certain questions will allow you to look at things differently.
Related: Find your life purpose now
5. Start moving-
There is nothing better than doing a physical workout be it just walking only. Studies have always suggested that working out at least 30 minutes a day impacts our mood on a different level.
No, I won't suggest you to do a HIIT workout or start doing aerobics when you are not feeling worthy, because I also cannot do it.
Instead, the only best thing you can do is start moving. Go for a walk, or roam around your bedroom, do anything that you can but don't just sit idle. As sitting ideally can lead you to think more of negative thoughts which you don't want.
6. Start writing what you feel-
Writing down your thoughts and feelings helps you to get clarity. Journaling is not only good to boost your mood but also prevents you from overthinking as you become aware of all the thoughts that are running inside your mind.
Journaling gives you many benefits. Some of them include- managing anxiety, lowering the levels of stress, coping with depression, etc.
When you are feeling vulnerable or worthless, start writing about your feelings and ask the reason behind them. Once you get accustomed to writing your feelings, you will see a major shift in yourself.
7. Share with someone you love-
Keeping your feelings bottled and not sharing them with your loved ones will suck the happiness out of you. Sharing your feelings and thoughts with someone will relieve your burden and make you feel relaxed.
In case you are afraid of talking about your feelings with someone because you think they will judge you then try joining mental health groups/communities both online and offline. There you will get people with various mental health issues and the methods they are using to deal with them.
You can get advice from people like you and build connections with them. In this way, you will be able to resolve your issues and take better care of yourself.
Final Thoughts
The feeling of worthlessness is a common feeling that most of us experience. There is nothing wrong with how you feel, so don't judge yourself based on that.
Try to be patient with yourself and start taking care of yourself.
There is nobody who will teach you how to love yourself.
Watch out this motivational video I found on Youtube-
The new year is here- which definitely means new resolutions!
Although nothing exactly changes with a new year. But most of us take a pledge with ourselves that -"This time I won't let people hurt me nor I would beg someone to love me."
However, with time some of us forget all our resolutions and start acting the same way we used to act the previous year.
Same disappointments with different people!
Have you ever thought about why someone else's behavior bothers you so much that your mental peace gets upside down?
Think of yourself in a light and happy mood and suddenly you meet someone or talk to someone who instantly puts you in a low vibration mode. This person can be anyone from your family, work, social group, or your spouse.
There are other cases also where we get hurt by our own people. Maybe their intention was not to hurt us or perhaps if someone to whom we are attached does something which we didn't expect them to do, we immediately react and think vigorously.
How to not let others affect you?
To remain unaffected by our surroundings is difficult but possible. We only have to take a step back and detach ourselves from it emotionally.
Here are 6 tips that can guide us to remain positive and unbothered by people's behavior:
1. Set your boundaries- If you want to save yourself from getting into the low vibrational mode, you just need to set boundaries for yourself.
According to Positive Psychology: A healthy boundary is a space between you and the other person which is drawn to ensure that your mental health remains stable. Boundaries determine what you will tolerate and what you will not!Boundaries are your space which the other person must not cross.
How to Create Healthy Boundaries?
- If you don't like something say it clearly on the face of another person. For example, if someone asks you to do something which you think is crossing the limits of your particular relationship, simply say "NO". No need to over-explain everything.
- Be honest about your feelings. Do not care about what the other person would think. It is necessary to have honest conversations then telling lies.
- Make yourself a priority. If you have told everyone to whom you are close to and they still do not respect your boundaries, choose to walk away.
2. Allow yourself to respond- When you witness the opposite of what you want, you have a choice- either to react immediately or to stay calm and let your brain respond after a few minutes.
Yes, we behave according to the actions of others. For instance, a teacher will get angry when he is teaching and a student is creating a disturbance in class. In that case, the teacher can give that student punishment, or perhaps he can calmly handle the situation and guide the child.
How to calmly handle things?
- Start deep breathing and don't overthink everything.
- Keep quiet and try to understand them.
- Start repeating Positive Self-Affirmations to yourself.
- If you don't like something say it clearly on the face of another person. For example, if someone asks you to do something which you think is crossing the limits of your particular relationship, simply say "NO". No need to over-explain everything.
- Be honest about your feelings. Do not care about what the other person would think. It is necessary to have honest conversations then telling lies.
- Make yourself a priority. If you have told everyone to whom you are close to and they still do not respect your boundaries, choose to walk away.
2. Allow yourself to respond- When you witness the opposite of what you want, you have a choice- either to react immediately or to stay calm and let your brain respond after a few minutes.
- Start deep breathing and don't overthink everything.
- Keep quiet and try to understand them.
- Start repeating Positive Self-Affirmations to yourself.
3. Move out of the past- Holding on to a grudge will only give you emotional harm and nothing else. If you are holding a grudge against someone then it's you who is being suffered. The other person won't even know and don't care about your feelings and emotions. They are happily enjoying their lives.
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So move on for yourself because you deserve to be happy. Even if they haven't apologized to you. Nobody gives a damn about closures. It's you who is waiting for them to come and sort out everything or at least say sorry.
But what exactly you need to do is Move on so that you can heal and save yourself.
4. Take responsibility for your emotions- You create your own reality and thoughts. Hence you are solely responsible for how you feel. Even if others do wrong with you, it's up to you how you will take it. You cannot rely on people to give you the reality that you desire.
If you need a job, it's you who has to stand up and look out on your own. You cannot depend on your friends and family members to find a particular job for you and if they can't help you, you cannot get mad at them.
In the same way, if your boss uttered some mean comments for you or your spouse did not do what you asked him to do- it's in your hands how you want to feel.
When you will lower your expectations from others, you will automatically shift yourself into a high vibrational mode.
5. Realize that you cannot control them- You can control your own state of mind but not of others. How others behave, what others do is not what you should worry about. You must understand that you cannot force others to behave according to you.
Would you like behaving on someone else's terms and conditions? No, right? In the same way, the action of another person is based on their karma and beliefs.
What you can do is get out of that situation if you are suffering. Take a step back to save yourself from draining your mental energy.
6. Your happiness is inside you- When you will start looking internally and not externally you'll have more patience and calmness. If any sudden setback would arise you will be able to handle it with patience and not get upset. That's the power of our inner state of mind.
Moreover, you will try to understand someone else's opinion and perspective and you won't feel like you are being attacked.
How to find inner happiness?
- Listen to your gut feeling and allow it to guide you.
- Remove expectations from other people.
- Focus on your present.
- Do things that you like the most.
- Surround yourself with happy people.
Final Thoughts
In the end, its completely your choice if you want others to steal your joy or not. If you give them the power to control your emotions and feelings then don't complain in the end because it was your decision to be emotionally dependent on them.
Lastly, live your best life and get attached there, where the attachment is from both sides!
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Picking yourself up after failures can be tough. I know because I have been through it.
No human in this world is 100% happy or living his best life. We all have low moments, sudden mishappenings, and lose our way.
Some of us find our way back and go over the moon while some of us take time to get back on track. In life's journey, we may feel lonely, depressed, or even drop our confidence.
Building confidence is a much easier task than rebuilding it. Because when you don't know anything, suppose you don't know how to drive a car, you will practice it and eventually learn it and have confidence over your driving skills.
On the other hand, rebuilding that confidence again what you have already tried or you already know can be difficult.
And that is why we are here to:-
Rebuild our confidence when failures hit us
The most common excuse we all make when something doesn't work out is- "Well, if this won't happen, maybe it's not suppose to happen!"
This isn't how life works!
If you are continuously thinking of a negative outcome, you may soon receive the negative outcome and then you will say- "I knew this would happen!"
And it isn't because life didn't want to give it to you, it's because you were thinking about it most of the time.
Let's find out how we can shift our focus back towards ourselves and jump out of the current zone that we are facing.
1. Take a break- Taking a break is a good option to de-stress your mind after unexpected setbacks or failures. Failures are meant to give you lessons or make you learn something which you would never learn if you would still be doing the same thing.
Or if you are pushing or beating yourself up and taking the entire burden on yourself about a current situation, then it's of no use. Taking the blame is not beneficial, not even for the short-term.
So, if you are struggling with unemployment or boredom after a sudden mishappening, try indulging in some other activity and shift your focus into something else.
2. Embrace past victories- Remember the last time your dream job landed in your lap? That promotion you received without even putting many efforts! Reminiscing the past victories allows us to be more open to future opportunities. They allow us to think broader and better.
You might be aware that J.K Rowling received many rejections before publishing the Harry Potter Book. She dragged herself from severe poverty and became the first billionaire to enter into the name of Forbes.
Even after several setbacks and facing rejections she didn't sit back and did not have negative self-talk instead, she worked hard to make her dream turn into reality.
3. Do some Voluntary act- If you are free right now and looking for your dream job, try volunteering in the same field or whatever you like. You will get the same sense of deadlines, schedules, and dependency on people that you would get in a paid job. Moreover, it will give you a new feel of experience and confidence and you might become more informative about the current trends in the industry.
Hence, start looking for voluntary opportunities along with paid jobs to gain more confidence and give your best.
You never know what your efforts mean to the other person and you might get a great chance to sharpen your skills.
4. Find a meaning- It's completely our choice as to how we deal with a particular situation. If you are hit back with a failure in your life, then it's up to you if you will consider it as a loss or a lesson. Sometimes, the biggest breakthroughs come in our life after major breakdowns.
Re-building your confidence consists of giving meaning to the current situation or circumstance. Now that's what most of us fail to do so. We generally label a sudden mishappening as a "failure" or a "loss". Why? because that's how our brain works. Our brain immediately picks up an unwanted outcome or thing and consider it as negative without even realizing the actual purpose of it.
Start looking at your unwanted situation as a guide on how it is helping you or how it will take you to your desired destination. Give it an empowering meaning!
5. Don't resist the change- Resisting and holding on to things will not take you anywhere. When what you want is going away from you, you hold it tight and prevent it from running away. I know it's difficult to let go of what you want as it gives you happiness and joy. However, if you will change your mindset and start accepting the situations and things as it is, you will find that you are in the best place in your life.
Let's say, you just lost your job or didn't do well in your exams and because of that, you have lost all your confidence. So rather than worrying and wanting those things back accept that situation and see what it is conveying to you as you will find the courage and confidence to move on in life.
6. Stand up on your own- Start taking baby steps and start moving forward. No matter how powerless you feel, you have to stand on your own to achieve your goals. Nobody is going to come and save you.
Even this blog post that you are reading is also your own choice to read, nobody can force you.
Hence, when you have lost all your confidence and you are facing a challenge, know that you have to stand up on your feet. Be willing to move forward instead of laying back and think negatively.
No matter how vague the idea is or how small your step is, taking one step at a time can help you reach your desired goal.
Final words before goodbye
Building confidence again starts with building a new mindset and how we look at things.
If you think of a situation as negative, change your mentality towards it, and try thinking differently.
It's not about being happy or joyful even in stressful situations, it's about looking at the stressful situation in a new and a different way with the hope of getting better.
With hardly two days left for 2021, remove all the negativity and unnecessary worries from your life.
Stop worrying and start being hopeful that the Universe is always working out in your favor!
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We have all been there- Sometimes it's a bad day at work, or a fight with a friend, or the sudden death of a pet animal and etc.
We all try to stay happy and delightful every day but there are certain factors that influence our mood- maybe it is diet, sleeping schedule, that time of the month, finance issues, weather, health, social media, and what not!
And then we wonder why we are so annoyed, or why we have sudden cravings? It's because we are unaware of these tiny things that affect our mood and ultimately our mental health.
Life is crazy, you go through from being a happy person and suddenly take a toll when you don't want to talk to anyone.
Well, if you also wonder about what to do when in a bad mood then don't worry here are certain tips for you to get out of that zone instantly and become an energetic soul.
7 ways to improve your mood quickly
Because of 1 bad thing that happens to us, we decide to be in the bad mood for the rest of the day and accept it as it is. Instead of allowing the situation or thing to affect us, we must find out its root and seek solutions to get out of that particular thing.
Here are 7 ways to quickly get out of a bad mood:
1. Identify what's bothering you-
Sometimes there is hardly any serious reason for us to get sad or be in a sad mood, but we don't really know so we binge into emotional-eating. Women may have this thought that this is just a PMS and start eating junk because of that. While men may indulge in drinking alcohol.
Before you move to stress eating, for once, ask yourself-"What is bothering me?" "Why am I annoyed?"
Once you have the clarity about Introspecting yourself you can take action towards it without depending on others.
2. Tune into happy music-
It has been scientifically proven that music has positive effects on us. In fact, music is an excellent stress reliever and is used in various pain management centers and hospitals to ease patients.
But we have this habit of wrapping ourselves into sad music, sad films, being alone whenever we are in a bad mood which ultimately makes us sadder.
So next time, if you want to shift your mood into a happy one, tune into your energetic playlist and jump onto the floor to dance.
3. Seek sunlight-
Do you know that sitting for just 5 minutes under the sunlight can boost our mood? According to Healthline sunlight not only provides us vitamin D but also releases a chemical, called serotonin, which makes a person calm and relaxed.
When there is less exposure to the sun, our serotonin level starts to decrease which may result in chronic depression.
It's important to take proper sunlight and what's better than absorbing the rays of the sun in the winter season?
4. Choose right over unhealthy-
How many times have you raced towards the kitchen or fridge whenever you were feeling low? Eating food because of stress or other issues is known as emotional eating.
Jumping into ice-creams, a packet of chips, alcohol won't help you instead will give you major health problems.
So why choose unhealthy, when you have so many healthier and tastier options in front of you!
Studies suggest that eating foods rich in Omega-3 acids prevents depression and mental illness. So, include nuts, seeds, milk, and other good food products in your diet
5. Allow yourself to vent-
When you have bottled up your emotions for a very long time, you may experience anger or frustration. Crying helps to release toxins from the body and improves our mood.
You may have felt relaxed the last time you cried. This is because you threw the negative emotions out of your body and lighten the burden inside your heart.
Next time, if you feel the urge to cry, then cry yourself out and relax your body and mind.
Remember-Crying is never a sign of weakness or shame.
6. Pray-
It is always suggested whenever someone is in a bad mood, then he should try meditation. But how can someone sit in a position to meditate? I can never do so especially when I am stressed about something.
The only thing I do is- I pray. I pray to God and cry out loud in front of him. Because I know only he can sort out my problems and lift me up, no matter how many times I fall.
It doesn't matter how much money you have or how busy you are, taking 5 minutes out of your day to go to a temple or church will not make you a small person.
Pray and let God do wonders for you!
7. Feel the abundance-
Often times we look for those things that we haven't received or got and make ourselves sad, but what about those miracles and magic that happen every day? Those miracles about whom we aren't even aware of.
Can you think of a miracle you witnessed the last time? Looking for positivity around you when you are engulfed in negativity can be tough. However, only these small things and being grateful for what you already have can lighten up your mood.
Final Words
Tried up everything and still aren't able to achieve that happy mood? Then you must seek professional help before things get out of hand.
Related posts you might like:
Who doesn't want a happy life? Who doesn't want a new car, a better job, a financially secured career?
Everyone looks for ways to enjoy and be happy. But if something bad persists, our happiness immediately turns into sadness and we start blaming the environment or our surroundings.
Whenever something bad happens or a person is sad, it is always said that- "be positive"! But no one can remain positive all the time. It's impossible to not let situations or people affect you especially if you are an overthinker.
Related: How to stop overthinking?
Being a happy person requires more good thoughts, good feelings, and letting go of all those things that don't serve your happiness.
Instead of depending on others to be happy, you must let go of some things that suck the happy person out of you.
Here are 10 things to let go of to be a happy person:
1. Let go of the past-
Letting go of the past and moving on can be difficult if you are in love or attached to a person who once made you feel like you are on top of heaven. However, continuing a relationship with them just because you both share some good memories will only cause you more pain.
I know it is hard to accept that the person you once loved has changed and you cannot forgive them. But to live a happy and peaceful life, you must learn to forgive, not for them, but for yourself.
Related: Tips to let go of the past
2. No self-doubt-
You can become your biggest enemy if you continue to criticize yourself and making yourself feel inferior. Continuous negative self-talk can make you believe that you are less deserving and have no self-esteem. This can not only damage your self worth but also your mental health. So, the most important thing to focus on is how you speak to yourself.
3. Let go of toxic people-
There will always be some toxic people in your life. They can be your partner, a friend, a colleague, or someone from your family. Pouring so much energy and effort into these people will only give you pain and stress. So, why surround yourself with such people? Imagine turning all those negative emotions into positive ones and be a happy person. But you might ask-"How can I do so?"
Well, for that, you must first identify those people and then remove them from your life.
Read this article by Healthline and learn how to deal with toxic people.
4. Let go of the unrealistic appreciation-
This does not mean that you should not expect the appreciation of the good deeds you do for others. However, you cannot force anybody to like you and respect you, so you have to stop looking for appreciation at the doors that don't open for you.
Do good deeds, be kind but don't do it for the sake of wanting appreciation and respect.
5. Do not chase people-
I had always chased people and begged them to not leave me but they still left because they wanted to. They didn't want to be in my life so all my requests and pleasing didn't affect them.
Hence, then what's the matter of chasing people? Somebody who doesn't want to hear from you will not call you. Somebody who doesn't want to spend time with you will not make plans to meet you.
You cannot force them to stay. The more you will force, the more they will move away from you.
Thus, pursuing somebody will not give you happiness. If you want to live a happy life, focus on yourself, and let people go if they want to leave.
6. Let go of control-
The need to control everything will not give you happiness but instead, increase your stress level. If you are a control freak and like to control people according to your own way then that could destroy your relationships with others.
Start doing guided meditations that can help you remain calm and reduce the possibility of anxiety that you get if something doesn't go your way.
7. Nobody is perfect-
Striving to become better is good but you must also know that you cannot be perfect in terms of everything. Nobody is perfect. Everyone has faults which are completely fine because that's what makes all of us unique and beautiful.
Also, if you see someone on social media who you think has a perfect body, perfect partner, dream house, big car and you get jealous by seeing that their life is perfect. Then you must also think beyond the camera because people will only post what they want to. In reality, everyone faces ups and downs!
8. Worrying about the future-
I often get stress about worrying about my future. When I know that the future is uncertain, still I waste hours thinking about- "What will happen?" and "What if this happens?" These questions bring me so much anxiety and I cry without knowing the exact reason.
So if you also worry about your future, please stop doing that! Stop wasting your time and energy about uncertainty and instead do some mediation or distract yourself into something better and let your intuition guide you.
9. Let go of the fear of failure
We all have fear of failure, also known as "atychiphobia" that does not let us move forward and seek great opportunities that are waiting for us. Failure is a part of our life. Without failure, we cannot identify our strengths.
I know it is easy to say, but at some point when this fear starts sucking our happiness we have to accept, learn, and let go of it.
10. Resistance to change
Being afraid of the change causes us to self-sabotage and does not allow us to recognize the real meaning behind that change. Once you are in your comfort zone, you won't like to get out of it and will start resisting.
I know it's not easy to get out of your comfort area because I am also afraid of the change. But if we won't let go of it, we cannot be delighted.
If you are facing a situation right now where you have to move out of your comfort zone, say in terms of job or profession, then instead of weeping about the situation, think that you deserve better than this!
Conclusion
In the end, only you are responsible for your happiness. So let go of all these things, people, jobs that no longer serve you because only you matter in the end.
Think for yourself! Love yourself!
Have you ever felt like a victim? Do you self-pity all the time?
Do you think the whole world is against you and no one seems to care about you?
Well if you do so or if you know someone who always thinks he is helpless and powerless then it may be because of victim mentality.
Who is a victim?
A victim is someone who has been robbed, attacked, humiliated, tortured physically. But when someone intentionally tries to divert the situation around himself, we might say, "He is playing a victim card!" Why? Because we can easily understand that nothing has happened to him or nobody tortured him, still he is self-pitying himself for no reason.
In general, we all are victims. At one point or other, we all have felt helpless. While some of us ditched our helplessness and stood firm but others couldn't leave their victim mindset.
Signs of a victim mentality
Not everyone purposely plays a sympathy card, sometimes they don't know how to overcome a situation that leads to them being a victim. To know if you have a victim mindset or not, you must read the signs below:
- You feel everyone is against you.
- You accept your situation as it is.
- You don't do anything to come out of the unwanted situation.
- You blame others for your loss.
- You react annoyingly to negative feedback and criticism.
- You feel good when someone pity you.
- You constantly indulge in pessimistic self-talk and self-pity.
- You try to take sympathy from others.
How to ditch the victim mentality
You can stop feeling like a victim permanently and can emotionally build yourself up using the 5 easy ways:
1. Be willing to change the situation
As soon as you get into an unwanted situation like losing a job, running out of money, gaining weight, or whatever it is, be willing to change it.
Don't just sit around a corner and vent. While it's okay to cry or be sad about your situation, but you cannot do it continuously. Have the courage and willingness to change any negative situation into a positive one.
2. Stay away from negative people
The next thing you can do to change your victim mindset into a mentally strong person is when you stay away from negative people. Your surroundings define who you are. Even if don't want to be a victim, you may still end up being a sufferer if you keep on letting people attack you.
Related: Cope up with negativity around you
3. Practice Forgiveness
Forgiving others can be hard when they have hurt us in the past. But the most challenging part is forgiving ourselves. You need to forgive and set yourself free to feel free and happy. When you don't let go of your past mistakes you tend to self-pity which then leads to being a victim. You must understand that replaying the past scenarios won't change anything in your present but will definitely take away your happiness.
4. Take a break
When we start something new it can be tough. Some days are OK while most days are full of stress and anxiety. In that case, taking a mental break can prove to be a great advantage for us. When you emotionally take a break from all those thoughts that are running in your mind, you feel relaxed and calm. So, take a mental break whenever you feel it is necessary for you.
5. Empower yourself with positive self-affirmations
Having a victim mentality may cause you to do negative self-talk all the time which ultimately lowers your self-confidence. When you start repeating positive self-affirmations with "I am" and "I can" you feel energized, positive, and happy. Positive self-affirmations are extremely powerful and can help you change your negative thought patterns into positive ones.
Final Words
You can achieve a strong mindset and ditch the victim mode once you know you are a victim who constantly lowers his/her energy down and those of others. Having a victim mindset doesn't mean you are a bad person, it only means you don't know how to change your helplessness into hopefulness.
Practice these steps with self-love, compassion, and kindness and you can shift your personality.
When you are indulged in pursuing your career goals, or fitness goals, or home duties, sometimes you forget who you are! While the sense of accomplishment you get feels good but it's important to focus on your mental health too.
The moment you wake up, you start calculating your day's duties and responsibilities without even being grateful for the same day. It's not that you are a selfish and ungrateful person, but amidst everything going on in your life, how many times have you taken care of yourself?
Do you take time out of your busy schedule to do a head massage? or How many times do you visit the salon for a hair spa?
Giving yourself a mental break is as necessary as meeting your deadlines. People, in general, believe that if they won't do as much hard work as others do, they might lag behind.
But you need to ensure that your competition is not with anyone else, but with yourself. So you need to take timely breaks to recharge and reset yourself.
Here are 8 healthy ways to give yourself a mental break so you won't stress out:
1.Prioritize restful activities- What are restful activities? A downtime or a restful activity is that which provides you comfort and relaxation. Which activity do you like to enjoy the most?
Be it going outside to take a walk, or binging onto your favorite show, or dancing to a piece of good music whatever it is that makes you happy and that provides a break to your brain should be your priority. You should know that prioritizing these activities won't cost you enough money or your job.
2. Sleep More- We have always been listening to this phrase that a good sleep comprises of 7-8 hours and we must sleep for this affixed amount of time. Some finish their work as early as possible and sleep peacefully at night while others find it difficult to sleep.
If you also cannot sleep adequately at night, you can take a small nap in the daytime. If you have something important to finish and you are sitting in front of your laptop since morning, it's okay to set your work aside and take a small nap break to reset yourself. Sometimes you may wonder- "I should complete my work first, then I will do some other thing." While it's good that you are serious about your work, but continuously sitting and doing work will make you fatigued which can impact the quality of your work.
3. Feed yourself with positivity- There are many days when we don't have any actual reason to be sad or worried but still we are stressed. Does this happen to you also? A possible reason behind unknown sadness can be some negative thoughts/phrases/news/quotes/films or anything related to that.
Think and try to examine which source gave you negativity and from then onwards change it into positivity. Always try to read something positive every day. Before going to bed or when you wake up, read a positive quote, and see yourself feeling fresh and relaxed.
4. Set aside all the financial worries- For one day, try to NOT think about your expenses, money that you owe to someone, financial bills, etc. Understand that worrying about your expenses won't going to sort it out or make you poor. So why trouble yourself by thinking about financial issues?
Just keep aside all the financial issues that are bothering you, and relax. When you will be relaxed you can think of better ideas to deal with a challenging situation. Never make it a constant practice of worrying and getting stressed about paying your bills or expenses. The expenses would remain the same only. So, start taking a mental break from such issues that hamper your peace of mind.
5. Stop multitasking- A study conducted at Stanford University stated how multitasking causes us stress and anxiety. We mostly do 3-4 tasks at once in order to finish them as quickly as possible. But we don't realize that when we are bombarded with several tasks at once, we lose our focus, memory, and productivity.
Do one thing at once, if you are writing something, first complete it then edit it. As when you will devote your attention to too many tasks at once, your creativity will be inhibited which will impact your work and thus cause you stress.
Take a mental break from multitasking and do one task at a particular time.
6. Release and burn your emotions- On a daily basis, we carry a lot with us, betrayals, failures, family problems, relationship issues, money, health, career, and what not! Every time when we solve one issue, the other stands in front of us causing our mind to work non-stop. Though already our brain is in the process of creating thoughts. However, when any unwanted situation stands up, we become negative.
To relax and reset our mental power, we need to release those emotions and burn them.
How can we do so? Here is a 3-step-guide for you:
- Sit down comfortably and grab a pen and paper.
- Start writing down whatever is coming into your mind. All those negative thoughts, criticism, someone made you feel low, whatever is coming in your head, jot it down.
- Then stand up, get a matchstick, and burn that paper. Understand that it is normal and watch the paper is burning along with your negative sentiments.
Try it out once and you would feel relaxed, calm, and better by burning that paper.
7. Switch off gadgets- Usually, adults spend most of their time on phones and other tech gadgets. Everywhere you go, you would find people either scrolling their news feed or capturing the best shot. Social media and technology have made our life easier but it has also impacted our health. We tend to compare ourselves with people, might watch disturbing news that affects our entire day, and much more.
You need to be conscious when you are picking gadgets. It's okay if your taking it for guilty pleasures but should also know when are you going to use it and what sort of information you would grasp from it!
8. Take mini-breaks- Doing small acts for your personal well-being is never a bad idea. You should know when to shut off the work and spend time by yourself. Schedule your work timings and break timings. This way your mind will not get tired and you will also increase your productivity level.
You can try out the Pomodoro Technique where you can do your work for 25 minutes and then you can take a break for 5 minutes. This is an easy way of not getting emotionally exhausted.
Final Words
To combat stress and negativity, you need to give yourself a mental break so that you can live a simpler, healthier, and happier life!
Have something else to add to the list?
In our life, we all have been to a point where everything went wrong, nothing worked in our favor and then we got sad and frustrated.
We try to control the situation, hold our emotions in front of our family, and cry out loud by soaking our face against the pillow.
I know this feeling is terrible when we feel like- "I am Worthless!", "I am a burden to my family!"
At that moment we only want peace! Peace inside our heart, mind, and everywhere around us.
When we are hit back by a sudden change or a negative situation that is not in our control, we are often surrounded by negative emotions.
I would say it's okay to feel worthless at some point- because only then you would be able to recognize your true self.
However, continuously repeating negative self-talk and feeling bad about yourself will lead you to more negative situations.
Let's think of what you can do when you are feeling low, sad, and worthless.
Here are the top 07 things to remember whenever you feel worthless:
1. This feeling is temporary-
Before you make up your mind based on the current emotions that you are feeling-remember that it is as temporary as the weather. Just as the climate changes from cold to hot then again gets into the freezing zone the same way our emotions step up.
When something good happens to us we feel happy, when something doesn't happen according to our own will, we feel sad or depressed.
Do not let your brain control you and do not take any permanent action because of a temporary feeling.
2. Think of something positive-
Being in a vulnerable state often takes us into the depressing zone and we over-analyze every small thing. Either we bring something hurtful from the past or we overthink about a comment someone made on our social media.
Of course, it's hard to think of those things that are already working out and which we don't even know about. Our mind catches more of what we already feel. So, to think positive first you have to speak positive and feel positive.
You can try practicing positive self-talk and also read this article that can guide you to focus more on positivity.
3. You are perfect in your way-
There can never be a person as unique as you. Do not think that you are a bad person and feel guilty about yourself. Negative situations come in everyone's life but they are meant to make us stronger and wiser.
Do not ever feel like you are not made for this world. Think about your loved ones, your family, and those who are connected to you. They love you the way you are.
Instead of feeling worthless, make them proud, and love yourself more every day.
Related: Reasons to love yourself
4. Find your purpose-
Life will twist you up, will shake you up, and make you feel uncomfortable but that's how life works. Even if you don't feel like it now, but you do have a purpose, a reason- why you are here!
It's okay to not knowing everything about your purpose or your future, but believing in it and setting good intentions within yourself will take you closer to your dreams.
Bad things happen so that you can challenge yourself and lift yourself. Instead of quitting and feeling depressed, ask yourself- "Why you are here?" "What is your purpose?"
Asking yourself certain questions will allow you to look at things differently.
Related: Find your life purpose now
5. Start moving-
There is nothing better than doing a physical workout be it just walking only. Studies have always suggested that working out at least 30 minutes a day impacts our mood on a different level.
No, I won't suggest you to do a HIIT workout or start doing aerobics when you are not feeling worthy, because I also cannot do it.
Instead, the only best thing you can do is start moving. Go for a walk, or roam around your bedroom, do anything that you can but don't just sit idle. As sitting ideally can lead you to think more of negative thoughts which you don't want.
6. Start writing what you feel-
Writing down your thoughts and feelings helps you to get clarity. Journaling is not only good to boost your mood but also prevents you from overthinking as you become aware of all the thoughts that are running inside your mind.
Journaling gives you many benefits. Some of them include- managing anxiety, lowering the levels of stress, coping with depression, etc.
When you are feeling vulnerable or worthless, start writing about your feelings and ask the reason behind them. Once you get accustomed to writing your feelings, you will see a major shift in yourself.
7. Share with someone you love-
Keeping your feelings bottled and not sharing them with your loved ones will suck the happiness out of you. Sharing your feelings and thoughts with someone will relieve your burden and make you feel relaxed.
In case you are afraid of talking about your feelings with someone because you think they will judge you then try joining mental health groups/communities both online and offline. There you will get people with various mental health issues and the methods they are using to deal with them.
You can get advice from people like you and build connections with them. In this way, you will be able to resolve your issues and take better care of yourself.
Final Thoughts
The feeling of worthlessness is a common feeling that most of us experience. There is nothing wrong with how you feel, so don't judge yourself based on that.
Try to be patient with yourself and start taking care of yourself.
There is nobody who will teach you how to love yourself.
Watch out this motivational video I found on Youtube-
The new year is here- which definitely means new resolutions!
Although nothing exactly changes with a new year. But most of us take a pledge with ourselves that -"This time I won't let people hurt me nor I would beg someone to love me."
However, with time some of us forget all our resolutions and start acting the same way we used to act the previous year.
Same disappointments with different people!
Have you ever thought about why someone else's behavior bothers you so much that your mental peace gets upside down?
Think of yourself in a light and happy mood and suddenly you meet someone or talk to someone who instantly puts you in a low vibration mode. This person can be anyone from your family, work, social group, or your spouse.
There are other cases also where we get hurt by our own people. Maybe their intention was not to hurt us or perhaps if someone to whom we are attached does something which we didn't expect them to do, we immediately react and think vigorously.
How to not let others affect you?
To remain unaffected by our surroundings is difficult but possible. We only have to take a step back and detach ourselves from it emotionally.
Here are 6 tips that can guide us to remain positive and unbothered by people's behavior:
1. Set your boundaries- If you want to save yourself from getting into the low vibrational mode, you just need to set boundaries for yourself.
According to Positive Psychology: A healthy boundary is a space between you and the other person which is drawn to ensure that your mental health remains stable. Boundaries determine what you will tolerate and what you will not!Boundaries are your space which the other person must not cross.
How to Create Healthy Boundaries?
- If you don't like something say it clearly on the face of another person. For example, if someone asks you to do something which you think is crossing the limits of your particular relationship, simply say "NO". No need to over-explain everything.
- Be honest about your feelings. Do not care about what the other person would think. It is necessary to have honest conversations then telling lies.
- Make yourself a priority. If you have told everyone to whom you are close to and they still do not respect your boundaries, choose to walk away.
2. Allow yourself to respond- When you witness the opposite of what you want, you have a choice- either to react immediately or to stay calm and let your brain respond after a few minutes.
Yes, we behave according to the actions of others. For instance, a teacher will get angry when he is teaching and a student is creating a disturbance in class. In that case, the teacher can give that student punishment, or perhaps he can calmly handle the situation and guide the child.
How to calmly handle things?
- Start deep breathing and don't overthink everything.
- Keep quiet and try to understand them.
- Start repeating Positive Self-Affirmations to yourself.
- If you don't like something say it clearly on the face of another person. For example, if someone asks you to do something which you think is crossing the limits of your particular relationship, simply say "NO". No need to over-explain everything.
- Be honest about your feelings. Do not care about what the other person would think. It is necessary to have honest conversations then telling lies.
- Make yourself a priority. If you have told everyone to whom you are close to and they still do not respect your boundaries, choose to walk away.
2. Allow yourself to respond- When you witness the opposite of what you want, you have a choice- either to react immediately or to stay calm and let your brain respond after a few minutes.
- Start deep breathing and don't overthink everything.
- Keep quiet and try to understand them.
- Start repeating Positive Self-Affirmations to yourself.
3. Move out of the past- Holding on to a grudge will only give you emotional harm and nothing else. If you are holding a grudge against someone then it's you who is being suffered. The other person won't even know and don't care about your feelings and emotions. They are happily enjoying their lives.
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So move on for yourself because you deserve to be happy. Even if they haven't apologized to you. Nobody gives a damn about closures. It's you who is waiting for them to come and sort out everything or at least say sorry.
But what exactly you need to do is Move on so that you can heal and save yourself.
4. Take responsibility for your emotions- You create your own reality and thoughts. Hence you are solely responsible for how you feel. Even if others do wrong with you, it's up to you how you will take it. You cannot rely on people to give you the reality that you desire.
If you need a job, it's you who has to stand up and look out on your own. You cannot depend on your friends and family members to find a particular job for you and if they can't help you, you cannot get mad at them.
In the same way, if your boss uttered some mean comments for you or your spouse did not do what you asked him to do- it's in your hands how you want to feel.
When you will lower your expectations from others, you will automatically shift yourself into a high vibrational mode.
5. Realize that you cannot control them- You can control your own state of mind but not of others. How others behave, what others do is not what you should worry about. You must understand that you cannot force others to behave according to you.
Would you like behaving on someone else's terms and conditions? No, right? In the same way, the action of another person is based on their karma and beliefs.
What you can do is get out of that situation if you are suffering. Take a step back to save yourself from draining your mental energy.
6. Your happiness is inside you- When you will start looking internally and not externally you'll have more patience and calmness. If any sudden setback would arise you will be able to handle it with patience and not get upset. That's the power of our inner state of mind.
Moreover, you will try to understand someone else's opinion and perspective and you won't feel like you are being attacked.
How to find inner happiness?
- Listen to your gut feeling and allow it to guide you.
- Remove expectations from other people.
- Focus on your present.
- Do things that you like the most.
- Surround yourself with happy people.
Final Thoughts
In the end, its completely your choice if you want others to steal your joy or not. If you give them the power to control your emotions and feelings then don't complain in the end because it was your decision to be emotionally dependent on them.
Lastly, live your best life and get attached there, where the attachment is from both sides!
Related posts
Picking yourself up after failures can be tough. I know because I have been through it.
No human in this world is 100% happy or living his best life. We all have low moments, sudden mishappenings, and lose our way.
Some of us find our way back and go over the moon while some of us take time to get back on track. In life's journey, we may feel lonely, depressed, or even drop our confidence.
Building confidence is a much easier task than rebuilding it. Because when you don't know anything, suppose you don't know how to drive a car, you will practice it and eventually learn it and have confidence over your driving skills.
On the other hand, rebuilding that confidence again what you have already tried or you already know can be difficult.
And that is why we are here to:-
Rebuild our confidence when failures hit us
The most common excuse we all make when something doesn't work out is- "Well, if this won't happen, maybe it's not suppose to happen!"
This isn't how life works!
If you are continuously thinking of a negative outcome, you may soon receive the negative outcome and then you will say- "I knew this would happen!"
And it isn't because life didn't want to give it to you, it's because you were thinking about it most of the time.
Let's find out how we can shift our focus back towards ourselves and jump out of the current zone that we are facing.
1. Take a break- Taking a break is a good option to de-stress your mind after unexpected setbacks or failures. Failures are meant to give you lessons or make you learn something which you would never learn if you would still be doing the same thing.
Or if you are pushing or beating yourself up and taking the entire burden on yourself about a current situation, then it's of no use. Taking the blame is not beneficial, not even for the short-term.
So, if you are struggling with unemployment or boredom after a sudden mishappening, try indulging in some other activity and shift your focus into something else.
2. Embrace past victories- Remember the last time your dream job landed in your lap? That promotion you received without even putting many efforts! Reminiscing the past victories allows us to be more open to future opportunities. They allow us to think broader and better.
You might be aware that J.K Rowling received many rejections before publishing the Harry Potter Book. She dragged herself from severe poverty and became the first billionaire to enter into the name of Forbes.
Even after several setbacks and facing rejections she didn't sit back and did not have negative self-talk instead, she worked hard to make her dream turn into reality.
3. Do some Voluntary act- If you are free right now and looking for your dream job, try volunteering in the same field or whatever you like. You will get the same sense of deadlines, schedules, and dependency on people that you would get in a paid job. Moreover, it will give you a new feel of experience and confidence and you might become more informative about the current trends in the industry.
Hence, start looking for voluntary opportunities along with paid jobs to gain more confidence and give your best.
You never know what your efforts mean to the other person and you might get a great chance to sharpen your skills.
4. Find a meaning- It's completely our choice as to how we deal with a particular situation. If you are hit back with a failure in your life, then it's up to you if you will consider it as a loss or a lesson. Sometimes, the biggest breakthroughs come in our life after major breakdowns.
Re-building your confidence consists of giving meaning to the current situation or circumstance. Now that's what most of us fail to do so. We generally label a sudden mishappening as a "failure" or a "loss". Why? because that's how our brain works. Our brain immediately picks up an unwanted outcome or thing and consider it as negative without even realizing the actual purpose of it.
Start looking at your unwanted situation as a guide on how it is helping you or how it will take you to your desired destination. Give it an empowering meaning!
5. Don't resist the change- Resisting and holding on to things will not take you anywhere. When what you want is going away from you, you hold it tight and prevent it from running away. I know it's difficult to let go of what you want as it gives you happiness and joy. However, if you will change your mindset and start accepting the situations and things as it is, you will find that you are in the best place in your life.
Let's say, you just lost your job or didn't do well in your exams and because of that, you have lost all your confidence. So rather than worrying and wanting those things back accept that situation and see what it is conveying to you as you will find the courage and confidence to move on in life.
6. Stand up on your own- Start taking baby steps and start moving forward. No matter how powerless you feel, you have to stand on your own to achieve your goals. Nobody is going to come and save you.
Even this blog post that you are reading is also your own choice to read, nobody can force you.
Hence, when you have lost all your confidence and you are facing a challenge, know that you have to stand up on your feet. Be willing to move forward instead of laying back and think negatively.
No matter how vague the idea is or how small your step is, taking one step at a time can help you reach your desired goal.
Final words before goodbye
Building confidence again starts with building a new mindset and how we look at things.
If you think of a situation as negative, change your mentality towards it, and try thinking differently.
It's not about being happy or joyful even in stressful situations, it's about looking at the stressful situation in a new and a different way with the hope of getting better.
With hardly two days left for 2021, remove all the negativity and unnecessary worries from your life.
Stop worrying and start being hopeful that the Universe is always working out in your favor!
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We have all been there- Sometimes it's a bad day at work, or a fight with a friend, or the sudden death of a pet animal and etc.
We all try to stay happy and delightful every day but there are certain factors that influence our mood- maybe it is diet, sleeping schedule, that time of the month, finance issues, weather, health, social media, and what not!
And then we wonder why we are so annoyed, or why we have sudden cravings? It's because we are unaware of these tiny things that affect our mood and ultimately our mental health.
Life is crazy, you go through from being a happy person and suddenly take a toll when you don't want to talk to anyone.
Well, if you also wonder about what to do when in a bad mood then don't worry here are certain tips for you to get out of that zone instantly and become an energetic soul.
7 ways to improve your mood quickly
Because of 1 bad thing that happens to us, we decide to be in the bad mood for the rest of the day and accept it as it is. Instead of allowing the situation or thing to affect us, we must find out its root and seek solutions to get out of that particular thing.
Here are 7 ways to quickly get out of a bad mood:
1. Identify what's bothering you-
Sometimes there is hardly any serious reason for us to get sad or be in a sad mood, but we don't really know so we binge into emotional-eating. Women may have this thought that this is just a PMS and start eating junk because of that. While men may indulge in drinking alcohol.
Before you move to stress eating, for once, ask yourself-"What is bothering me?" "Why am I annoyed?"
Once you have the clarity about Introspecting yourself you can take action towards it without depending on others.
2. Tune into happy music-
It has been scientifically proven that music has positive effects on us. In fact, music is an excellent stress reliever and is used in various pain management centers and hospitals to ease patients.
But we have this habit of wrapping ourselves into sad music, sad films, being alone whenever we are in a bad mood which ultimately makes us sadder.
So next time, if you want to shift your mood into a happy one, tune into your energetic playlist and jump onto the floor to dance.
3. Seek sunlight-
Do you know that sitting for just 5 minutes under the sunlight can boost our mood? According to Healthline sunlight not only provides us vitamin D but also releases a chemical, called serotonin, which makes a person calm and relaxed.
When there is less exposure to the sun, our serotonin level starts to decrease which may result in chronic depression.
It's important to take proper sunlight and what's better than absorbing the rays of the sun in the winter season?
4. Choose right over unhealthy-
How many times have you raced towards the kitchen or fridge whenever you were feeling low? Eating food because of stress or other issues is known as emotional eating.
Jumping into ice-creams, a packet of chips, alcohol won't help you instead will give you major health problems.
So why choose unhealthy, when you have so many healthier and tastier options in front of you!
Studies suggest that eating foods rich in Omega-3 acids prevents depression and mental illness. So, include nuts, seeds, milk, and other good food products in your diet
5. Allow yourself to vent-
When you have bottled up your emotions for a very long time, you may experience anger or frustration. Crying helps to release toxins from the body and improves our mood.
You may have felt relaxed the last time you cried. This is because you threw the negative emotions out of your body and lighten the burden inside your heart.
Next time, if you feel the urge to cry, then cry yourself out and relax your body and mind.
Remember-Crying is never a sign of weakness or shame.
6. Pray-
It is always suggested whenever someone is in a bad mood, then he should try meditation. But how can someone sit in a position to meditate? I can never do so especially when I am stressed about something.
The only thing I do is- I pray. I pray to God and cry out loud in front of him. Because I know only he can sort out my problems and lift me up, no matter how many times I fall.
It doesn't matter how much money you have or how busy you are, taking 5 minutes out of your day to go to a temple or church will not make you a small person.
Pray and let God do wonders for you!
7. Feel the abundance-
Often times we look for those things that we haven't received or got and make ourselves sad, but what about those miracles and magic that happen every day? Those miracles about whom we aren't even aware of.
Can you think of a miracle you witnessed the last time? Looking for positivity around you when you are engulfed in negativity can be tough. However, only these small things and being grateful for what you already have can lighten up your mood.
Final Words
Tried up everything and still aren't able to achieve that happy mood? Then you must seek professional help before things get out of hand.
Related posts you might like:
Who doesn't want a happy life? Who doesn't want a new car, a better job, a financially secured career?
Everyone looks for ways to enjoy and be happy. But if something bad persists, our happiness immediately turns into sadness and we start blaming the environment or our surroundings.
Whenever something bad happens or a person is sad, it is always said that- "be positive"! But no one can remain positive all the time. It's impossible to not let situations or people affect you especially if you are an overthinker.
Related: How to stop overthinking?
Being a happy person requires more good thoughts, good feelings, and letting go of all those things that don't serve your happiness.
Instead of depending on others to be happy, you must let go of some things that suck the happy person out of you.
Here are 10 things to let go of to be a happy person:
1. Let go of the past-
Letting go of the past and moving on can be difficult if you are in love or attached to a person who once made you feel like you are on top of heaven. However, continuing a relationship with them just because you both share some good memories will only cause you more pain.
I know it is hard to accept that the person you once loved has changed and you cannot forgive them. But to live a happy and peaceful life, you must learn to forgive, not for them, but for yourself.
Related: Tips to let go of the past
2. No self-doubt-
You can become your biggest enemy if you continue to criticize yourself and making yourself feel inferior. Continuous negative self-talk can make you believe that you are less deserving and have no self-esteem. This can not only damage your self worth but also your mental health. So, the most important thing to focus on is how you speak to yourself.
3. Let go of toxic people-
There will always be some toxic people in your life. They can be your partner, a friend, a colleague, or someone from your family. Pouring so much energy and effort into these people will only give you pain and stress. So, why surround yourself with such people? Imagine turning all those negative emotions into positive ones and be a happy person. But you might ask-"How can I do so?"
Well, for that, you must first identify those people and then remove them from your life.
Read this article by Healthline and learn how to deal with toxic people.
4. Let go of the unrealistic appreciation-
This does not mean that you should not expect the appreciation of the good deeds you do for others. However, you cannot force anybody to like you and respect you, so you have to stop looking for appreciation at the doors that don't open for you.
Do good deeds, be kind but don't do it for the sake of wanting appreciation and respect.
5. Do not chase people-
I had always chased people and begged them to not leave me but they still left because they wanted to. They didn't want to be in my life so all my requests and pleasing didn't affect them.
Hence, then what's the matter of chasing people? Somebody who doesn't want to hear from you will not call you. Somebody who doesn't want to spend time with you will not make plans to meet you.
You cannot force them to stay. The more you will force, the more they will move away from you.
Thus, pursuing somebody will not give you happiness. If you want to live a happy life, focus on yourself, and let people go if they want to leave.
6. Let go of control-
The need to control everything will not give you happiness but instead, increase your stress level. If you are a control freak and like to control people according to your own way then that could destroy your relationships with others.
Start doing guided meditations that can help you remain calm and reduce the possibility of anxiety that you get if something doesn't go your way.
7. Nobody is perfect-
Striving to become better is good but you must also know that you cannot be perfect in terms of everything. Nobody is perfect. Everyone has faults which are completely fine because that's what makes all of us unique and beautiful.
Also, if you see someone on social media who you think has a perfect body, perfect partner, dream house, big car and you get jealous by seeing that their life is perfect. Then you must also think beyond the camera because people will only post what they want to. In reality, everyone faces ups and downs!
8. Worrying about the future-
I often get stress about worrying about my future. When I know that the future is uncertain, still I waste hours thinking about- "What will happen?" and "What if this happens?" These questions bring me so much anxiety and I cry without knowing the exact reason.
So if you also worry about your future, please stop doing that! Stop wasting your time and energy about uncertainty and instead do some mediation or distract yourself into something better and let your intuition guide you.
9. Let go of the fear of failure
We all have fear of failure, also known as "atychiphobia" that does not let us move forward and seek great opportunities that are waiting for us. Failure is a part of our life. Without failure, we cannot identify our strengths.
I know it is easy to say, but at some point when this fear starts sucking our happiness we have to accept, learn, and let go of it.
10. Resistance to change
Being afraid of the change causes us to self-sabotage and does not allow us to recognize the real meaning behind that change. Once you are in your comfort zone, you won't like to get out of it and will start resisting.
I know it's not easy to get out of your comfort area because I am also afraid of the change. But if we won't let go of it, we cannot be delighted.
If you are facing a situation right now where you have to move out of your comfort zone, say in terms of job or profession, then instead of weeping about the situation, think that you deserve better than this!
Conclusion
In the end, only you are responsible for your happiness. So let go of all these things, people, jobs that no longer serve you because only you matter in the end.
Think for yourself! Love yourself!
Have you ever felt like a victim? Do you self-pity all the time?
Do you think the whole world is against you and no one seems to care about you?
Well if you do so or if you know someone who always thinks he is helpless and powerless then it may be because of victim mentality.
Who is a victim?
A victim is someone who has been robbed, attacked, humiliated, tortured physically. But when someone intentionally tries to divert the situation around himself, we might say, "He is playing a victim card!" Why? Because we can easily understand that nothing has happened to him or nobody tortured him, still he is self-pitying himself for no reason.
In general, we all are victims. At one point or other, we all have felt helpless. While some of us ditched our helplessness and stood firm but others couldn't leave their victim mindset.
Signs of a victim mentality
Not everyone purposely plays a sympathy card, sometimes they don't know how to overcome a situation that leads to them being a victim. To know if you have a victim mindset or not, you must read the signs below:
- You feel everyone is against you.
- You accept your situation as it is.
- You don't do anything to come out of the unwanted situation.
- You blame others for your loss.
- You react annoyingly to negative feedback and criticism.
- You feel good when someone pity you.
- You constantly indulge in pessimistic self-talk and self-pity.
- You try to take sympathy from others.
How to ditch the victim mentality
You can stop feeling like a victim permanently and can emotionally build yourself up using the 5 easy ways:
1. Be willing to change the situation
As soon as you get into an unwanted situation like losing a job, running out of money, gaining weight, or whatever it is, be willing to change it.
Don't just sit around a corner and vent. While it's okay to cry or be sad about your situation, but you cannot do it continuously. Have the courage and willingness to change any negative situation into a positive one.
2. Stay away from negative people
The next thing you can do to change your victim mindset into a mentally strong person is when you stay away from negative people. Your surroundings define who you are. Even if don't want to be a victim, you may still end up being a sufferer if you keep on letting people attack you.
Related: Cope up with negativity around you
3. Practice Forgiveness
Forgiving others can be hard when they have hurt us in the past. But the most challenging part is forgiving ourselves. You need to forgive and set yourself free to feel free and happy. When you don't let go of your past mistakes you tend to self-pity which then leads to being a victim. You must understand that replaying the past scenarios won't change anything in your present but will definitely take away your happiness.
4. Take a break
When we start something new it can be tough. Some days are OK while most days are full of stress and anxiety. In that case, taking a mental break can prove to be a great advantage for us. When you emotionally take a break from all those thoughts that are running in your mind, you feel relaxed and calm. So, take a mental break whenever you feel it is necessary for you.
5. Empower yourself with positive self-affirmations
Having a victim mentality may cause you to do negative self-talk all the time which ultimately lowers your self-confidence. When you start repeating positive self-affirmations with "I am" and "I can" you feel energized, positive, and happy. Positive self-affirmations are extremely powerful and can help you change your negative thought patterns into positive ones.
Final Words
You can achieve a strong mindset and ditch the victim mode once you know you are a victim who constantly lowers his/her energy down and those of others. Having a victim mindset doesn't mean you are a bad person, it only means you don't know how to change your helplessness into hopefulness.
Practice these steps with self-love, compassion, and kindness and you can shift your personality.
When you are indulged in pursuing your career goals, or fitness goals, or home duties, sometimes you forget who you are! While the sense of accomplishment you get feels good but it's important to focus on your mental health too.
The moment you wake up, you start calculating your day's duties and responsibilities without even being grateful for the same day. It's not that you are a selfish and ungrateful person, but amidst everything going on in your life, how many times have you taken care of yourself?
Do you take time out of your busy schedule to do a head massage? or How many times do you visit the salon for a hair spa?
Giving yourself a mental break is as necessary as meeting your deadlines. People, in general, believe that if they won't do as much hard work as others do, they might lag behind.
But you need to ensure that your competition is not with anyone else, but with yourself. So you need to take timely breaks to recharge and reset yourself.
Here are 8 healthy ways to give yourself a mental break so you won't stress out:
1.Prioritize restful activities- What are restful activities? A downtime or a restful activity is that which provides you comfort and relaxation. Which activity do you like to enjoy the most?
Be it going outside to take a walk, or binging onto your favorite show, or dancing to a piece of good music whatever it is that makes you happy and that provides a break to your brain should be your priority. You should know that prioritizing these activities won't cost you enough money or your job.
2. Sleep More- We have always been listening to this phrase that a good sleep comprises of 7-8 hours and we must sleep for this affixed amount of time. Some finish their work as early as possible and sleep peacefully at night while others find it difficult to sleep.
If you also cannot sleep adequately at night, you can take a small nap in the daytime. If you have something important to finish and you are sitting in front of your laptop since morning, it's okay to set your work aside and take a small nap break to reset yourself. Sometimes you may wonder- "I should complete my work first, then I will do some other thing." While it's good that you are serious about your work, but continuously sitting and doing work will make you fatigued which can impact the quality of your work.
3. Feed yourself with positivity- There are many days when we don't have any actual reason to be sad or worried but still we are stressed. Does this happen to you also? A possible reason behind unknown sadness can be some negative thoughts/phrases/news/quotes/films or anything related to that.
Think and try to examine which source gave you negativity and from then onwards change it into positivity. Always try to read something positive every day. Before going to bed or when you wake up, read a positive quote, and see yourself feeling fresh and relaxed.
4. Set aside all the financial worries- For one day, try to NOT think about your expenses, money that you owe to someone, financial bills, etc. Understand that worrying about your expenses won't going to sort it out or make you poor. So why trouble yourself by thinking about financial issues?
Just keep aside all the financial issues that are bothering you, and relax. When you will be relaxed you can think of better ideas to deal with a challenging situation. Never make it a constant practice of worrying and getting stressed about paying your bills or expenses. The expenses would remain the same only. So, start taking a mental break from such issues that hamper your peace of mind.
5. Stop multitasking- A study conducted at Stanford University stated how multitasking causes us stress and anxiety. We mostly do 3-4 tasks at once in order to finish them as quickly as possible. But we don't realize that when we are bombarded with several tasks at once, we lose our focus, memory, and productivity.
Do one thing at once, if you are writing something, first complete it then edit it. As when you will devote your attention to too many tasks at once, your creativity will be inhibited which will impact your work and thus cause you stress.
Take a mental break from multitasking and do one task at a particular time.
6. Release and burn your emotions- On a daily basis, we carry a lot with us, betrayals, failures, family problems, relationship issues, money, health, career, and what not! Every time when we solve one issue, the other stands in front of us causing our mind to work non-stop. Though already our brain is in the process of creating thoughts. However, when any unwanted situation stands up, we become negative.
To relax and reset our mental power, we need to release those emotions and burn them.
How can we do so? Here is a 3-step-guide for you:
- Sit down comfortably and grab a pen and paper.
- Start writing down whatever is coming into your mind. All those negative thoughts, criticism, someone made you feel low, whatever is coming in your head, jot it down.
- Then stand up, get a matchstick, and burn that paper. Understand that it is normal and watch the paper is burning along with your negative sentiments.
Try it out once and you would feel relaxed, calm, and better by burning that paper.
7. Switch off gadgets- Usually, adults spend most of their time on phones and other tech gadgets. Everywhere you go, you would find people either scrolling their news feed or capturing the best shot. Social media and technology have made our life easier but it has also impacted our health. We tend to compare ourselves with people, might watch disturbing news that affects our entire day, and much more.
You need to be conscious when you are picking gadgets. It's okay if your taking it for guilty pleasures but should also know when are you going to use it and what sort of information you would grasp from it!
8. Take mini-breaks- Doing small acts for your personal well-being is never a bad idea. You should know when to shut off the work and spend time by yourself. Schedule your work timings and break timings. This way your mind will not get tired and you will also increase your productivity level.
You can try out the Pomodoro Technique where you can do your work for 25 minutes and then you can take a break for 5 minutes. This is an easy way of not getting emotionally exhausted.
Final Words
To combat stress and negativity, you need to give yourself a mental break so that you can live a simpler, healthier, and happier life!
Have something else to add to the list?
In our life, we all have been to a point where everything went wrong, nothing worked in our favor and then we got sad and frustrated.
We try to control the situation, hold our emotions in front of our family, and cry out loud by soaking our face against the pillow.
I know this feeling is terrible when we feel like- "I am Worthless!", "I am a burden to my family!"
At that moment we only want peace! Peace inside our heart, mind, and everywhere around us.
When we are hit back by a sudden change or a negative situation that is not in our control, we are often surrounded by negative emotions.
I would say it's okay to feel worthless at some point- because only then you would be able to recognize your true self.
However, continuously repeating negative self-talk and feeling bad about yourself will lead you to more negative situations.
Let's think of what you can do when you are feeling low, sad, and worthless.
Here are the top 07 things to remember whenever you feel worthless:
1. This feeling is temporary-
Before you make up your mind based on the current emotions that you are feeling-remember that it is as temporary as the weather. Just as the climate changes from cold to hot then again gets into the freezing zone the same way our emotions step up.
When something good happens to us we feel happy, when something doesn't happen according to our own will, we feel sad or depressed.
Do not let your brain control you and do not take any permanent action because of a temporary feeling.
2. Think of something positive-
Being in a vulnerable state often takes us into the depressing zone and we over-analyze every small thing. Either we bring something hurtful from the past or we overthink about a comment someone made on our social media.
Of course, it's hard to think of those things that are already working out and which we don't even know about. Our mind catches more of what we already feel. So, to think positive first you have to speak positive and feel positive.
You can try practicing positive self-talk and also read this article that can guide you to focus more on positivity.
3. You are perfect in your way-
There can never be a person as unique as you. Do not think that you are a bad person and feel guilty about yourself. Negative situations come in everyone's life but they are meant to make us stronger and wiser.
Do not ever feel like you are not made for this world. Think about your loved ones, your family, and those who are connected to you. They love you the way you are.
Instead of feeling worthless, make them proud, and love yourself more every day.
Related: Reasons to love yourself
4. Find your purpose-
Life will twist you up, will shake you up, and make you feel uncomfortable but that's how life works. Even if you don't feel like it now, but you do have a purpose, a reason- why you are here!
It's okay to not knowing everything about your purpose or your future, but believing in it and setting good intentions within yourself will take you closer to your dreams.
Bad things happen so that you can challenge yourself and lift yourself. Instead of quitting and feeling depressed, ask yourself- "Why you are here?" "What is your purpose?"
Asking yourself certain questions will allow you to look at things differently.
Related: Find your life purpose now
5. Start moving-
There is nothing better than doing a physical workout be it just walking only. Studies have always suggested that working out at least 30 minutes a day impacts our mood on a different level.
No, I won't suggest you to do a HIIT workout or start doing aerobics when you are not feeling worthy, because I also cannot do it.
Instead, the only best thing you can do is start moving. Go for a walk, or roam around your bedroom, do anything that you can but don't just sit idle. As sitting ideally can lead you to think more of negative thoughts which you don't want.
6. Start writing what you feel-
Writing down your thoughts and feelings helps you to get clarity. Journaling is not only good to boost your mood but also prevents you from overthinking as you become aware of all the thoughts that are running inside your mind.
Journaling gives you many benefits. Some of them include- managing anxiety, lowering the levels of stress, coping with depression, etc.
When you are feeling vulnerable or worthless, start writing about your feelings and ask the reason behind them. Once you get accustomed to writing your feelings, you will see a major shift in yourself.
7. Share with someone you love-
Keeping your feelings bottled and not sharing them with your loved ones will suck the happiness out of you. Sharing your feelings and thoughts with someone will relieve your burden and make you feel relaxed.
In case you are afraid of talking about your feelings with someone because you think they will judge you then try joining mental health groups/communities both online and offline. There you will get people with various mental health issues and the methods they are using to deal with them.
You can get advice from people like you and build connections with them. In this way, you will be able to resolve your issues and take better care of yourself.
Final Thoughts
The feeling of worthlessness is a common feeling that most of us experience. There is nothing wrong with how you feel, so don't judge yourself based on that.
Try to be patient with yourself and start taking care of yourself.
There is nobody who will teach you how to love yourself.
Watch out this motivational video I found on Youtube-
The new year is here- which definitely means new resolutions!
Although nothing exactly changes with a new year. But most of us take a pledge with ourselves that -"This time I won't let people hurt me nor I would beg someone to love me."
However, with time some of us forget all our resolutions and start acting the same way we used to act the previous year.
Same disappointments with different people!
Have you ever thought about why someone else's behavior bothers you so much that your mental peace gets upside down?
Think of yourself in a light and happy mood and suddenly you meet someone or talk to someone who instantly puts you in a low vibration mode. This person can be anyone from your family, work, social group, or your spouse.
There are other cases also where we get hurt by our own people. Maybe their intention was not to hurt us or perhaps if someone to whom we are attached does something which we didn't expect them to do, we immediately react and think vigorously.
How to not let others affect you?
To remain unaffected by our surroundings is difficult but possible. We only have to take a step back and detach ourselves from it emotionally.
Here are 6 tips that can guide us to remain positive and unbothered by people's behavior:
1. Set your boundaries- If you want to save yourself from getting into the low vibrational mode, you just need to set boundaries for yourself.
According to Positive Psychology: A healthy boundary is a space between you and the other person which is drawn to ensure that your mental health remains stable. Boundaries determine what you will tolerate and what you will not!Boundaries are your space which the other person must not cross.
How to Create Healthy Boundaries?
- If you don't like something say it clearly on the face of another person. For example, if someone asks you to do something which you think is crossing the limits of your particular relationship, simply say "NO". No need to over-explain everything.
- Be honest about your feelings. Do not care about what the other person would think. It is necessary to have honest conversations then telling lies.
- Make yourself a priority. If you have told everyone to whom you are close to and they still do not respect your boundaries, choose to walk away.
2. Allow yourself to respond- When you witness the opposite of what you want, you have a choice- either to react immediately or to stay calm and let your brain respond after a few minutes.
Yes, we behave according to the actions of others. For instance, a teacher will get angry when he is teaching and a student is creating a disturbance in class. In that case, the teacher can give that student punishment, or perhaps he can calmly handle the situation and guide the child.
How to calmly handle things?
- Start deep breathing and don't overthink everything.
- Keep quiet and try to understand them.
- Start repeating Positive Self-Affirmations to yourself.
- If you don't like something say it clearly on the face of another person. For example, if someone asks you to do something which you think is crossing the limits of your particular relationship, simply say "NO". No need to over-explain everything.
- Be honest about your feelings. Do not care about what the other person would think. It is necessary to have honest conversations then telling lies.
- Make yourself a priority. If you have told everyone to whom you are close to and they still do not respect your boundaries, choose to walk away.
2. Allow yourself to respond- When you witness the opposite of what you want, you have a choice- either to react immediately or to stay calm and let your brain respond after a few minutes.
- Start deep breathing and don't overthink everything.
- Keep quiet and try to understand them.
- Start repeating Positive Self-Affirmations to yourself.
3. Move out of the past- Holding on to a grudge will only give you emotional harm and nothing else. If you are holding a grudge against someone then it's you who is being suffered. The other person won't even know and don't care about your feelings and emotions. They are happily enjoying their lives.
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So move on for yourself because you deserve to be happy. Even if they haven't apologized to you. Nobody gives a damn about closures. It's you who is waiting for them to come and sort out everything or at least say sorry.
But what exactly you need to do is Move on so that you can heal and save yourself.
4. Take responsibility for your emotions- You create your own reality and thoughts. Hence you are solely responsible for how you feel. Even if others do wrong with you, it's up to you how you will take it. You cannot rely on people to give you the reality that you desire.
If you need a job, it's you who has to stand up and look out on your own. You cannot depend on your friends and family members to find a particular job for you and if they can't help you, you cannot get mad at them.
In the same way, if your boss uttered some mean comments for you or your spouse did not do what you asked him to do- it's in your hands how you want to feel.
When you will lower your expectations from others, you will automatically shift yourself into a high vibrational mode.
5. Realize that you cannot control them- You can control your own state of mind but not of others. How others behave, what others do is not what you should worry about. You must understand that you cannot force others to behave according to you.
Would you like behaving on someone else's terms and conditions? No, right? In the same way, the action of another person is based on their karma and beliefs.
What you can do is get out of that situation if you are suffering. Take a step back to save yourself from draining your mental energy.
6. Your happiness is inside you- When you will start looking internally and not externally you'll have more patience and calmness. If any sudden setback would arise you will be able to handle it with patience and not get upset. That's the power of our inner state of mind.
Moreover, you will try to understand someone else's opinion and perspective and you won't feel like you are being attacked.
How to find inner happiness?
- Listen to your gut feeling and allow it to guide you.
- Remove expectations from other people.
- Focus on your present.
- Do things that you like the most.
- Surround yourself with happy people.
Final Thoughts
In the end, its completely your choice if you want others to steal your joy or not. If you give them the power to control your emotions and feelings then don't complain in the end because it was your decision to be emotionally dependent on them.
Lastly, live your best life and get attached there, where the attachment is from both sides!
Related posts
Picking yourself up after failures can be tough. I know because I have been through it.
No human in this world is 100% happy or living his best life. We all have low moments, sudden mishappenings, and lose our way.
Some of us find our way back and go over the moon while some of us take time to get back on track. In life's journey, we may feel lonely, depressed, or even drop our confidence.
Building confidence is a much easier task than rebuilding it. Because when you don't know anything, suppose you don't know how to drive a car, you will practice it and eventually learn it and have confidence over your driving skills.
On the other hand, rebuilding that confidence again what you have already tried or you already know can be difficult.
And that is why we are here to:-
Rebuild our confidence when failures hit us
The most common excuse we all make when something doesn't work out is- "Well, if this won't happen, maybe it's not suppose to happen!"
This isn't how life works!
If you are continuously thinking of a negative outcome, you may soon receive the negative outcome and then you will say- "I knew this would happen!"
And it isn't because life didn't want to give it to you, it's because you were thinking about it most of the time.
Let's find out how we can shift our focus back towards ourselves and jump out of the current zone that we are facing.
1. Take a break- Taking a break is a good option to de-stress your mind after unexpected setbacks or failures. Failures are meant to give you lessons or make you learn something which you would never learn if you would still be doing the same thing.
Or if you are pushing or beating yourself up and taking the entire burden on yourself about a current situation, then it's of no use. Taking the blame is not beneficial, not even for the short-term.
So, if you are struggling with unemployment or boredom after a sudden mishappening, try indulging in some other activity and shift your focus into something else.
2. Embrace past victories- Remember the last time your dream job landed in your lap? That promotion you received without even putting many efforts! Reminiscing the past victories allows us to be more open to future opportunities. They allow us to think broader and better.
You might be aware that J.K Rowling received many rejections before publishing the Harry Potter Book. She dragged herself from severe poverty and became the first billionaire to enter into the name of Forbes.
Even after several setbacks and facing rejections she didn't sit back and did not have negative self-talk instead, she worked hard to make her dream turn into reality.
3. Do some Voluntary act- If you are free right now and looking for your dream job, try volunteering in the same field or whatever you like. You will get the same sense of deadlines, schedules, and dependency on people that you would get in a paid job. Moreover, it will give you a new feel of experience and confidence and you might become more informative about the current trends in the industry.
Hence, start looking for voluntary opportunities along with paid jobs to gain more confidence and give your best.
You never know what your efforts mean to the other person and you might get a great chance to sharpen your skills.
4. Find a meaning- It's completely our choice as to how we deal with a particular situation. If you are hit back with a failure in your life, then it's up to you if you will consider it as a loss or a lesson. Sometimes, the biggest breakthroughs come in our life after major breakdowns.
Re-building your confidence consists of giving meaning to the current situation or circumstance. Now that's what most of us fail to do so. We generally label a sudden mishappening as a "failure" or a "loss". Why? because that's how our brain works. Our brain immediately picks up an unwanted outcome or thing and consider it as negative without even realizing the actual purpose of it.
Start looking at your unwanted situation as a guide on how it is helping you or how it will take you to your desired destination. Give it an empowering meaning!
5. Don't resist the change- Resisting and holding on to things will not take you anywhere. When what you want is going away from you, you hold it tight and prevent it from running away. I know it's difficult to let go of what you want as it gives you happiness and joy. However, if you will change your mindset and start accepting the situations and things as it is, you will find that you are in the best place in your life.
Let's say, you just lost your job or didn't do well in your exams and because of that, you have lost all your confidence. So rather than worrying and wanting those things back accept that situation and see what it is conveying to you as you will find the courage and confidence to move on in life.
6. Stand up on your own- Start taking baby steps and start moving forward. No matter how powerless you feel, you have to stand on your own to achieve your goals. Nobody is going to come and save you.
Even this blog post that you are reading is also your own choice to read, nobody can force you.
Hence, when you have lost all your confidence and you are facing a challenge, know that you have to stand up on your feet. Be willing to move forward instead of laying back and think negatively.
No matter how vague the idea is or how small your step is, taking one step at a time can help you reach your desired goal.
Final words before goodbye
Building confidence again starts with building a new mindset and how we look at things.
If you think of a situation as negative, change your mentality towards it, and try thinking differently.
It's not about being happy or joyful even in stressful situations, it's about looking at the stressful situation in a new and a different way with the hope of getting better.
With hardly two days left for 2021, remove all the negativity and unnecessary worries from your life.
Stop worrying and start being hopeful that the Universe is always working out in your favor!
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We have all been there- Sometimes it's a bad day at work, or a fight with a friend, or the sudden death of a pet animal and etc.
We all try to stay happy and delightful every day but there are certain factors that influence our mood- maybe it is diet, sleeping schedule, that time of the month, finance issues, weather, health, social media, and what not!
And then we wonder why we are so annoyed, or why we have sudden cravings? It's because we are unaware of these tiny things that affect our mood and ultimately our mental health.
Life is crazy, you go through from being a happy person and suddenly take a toll when you don't want to talk to anyone.
Well, if you also wonder about what to do when in a bad mood then don't worry here are certain tips for you to get out of that zone instantly and become an energetic soul.
7 ways to improve your mood quickly
Because of 1 bad thing that happens to us, we decide to be in the bad mood for the rest of the day and accept it as it is. Instead of allowing the situation or thing to affect us, we must find out its root and seek solutions to get out of that particular thing.
Here are 7 ways to quickly get out of a bad mood:
1. Identify what's bothering you-
Sometimes there is hardly any serious reason for us to get sad or be in a sad mood, but we don't really know so we binge into emotional-eating. Women may have this thought that this is just a PMS and start eating junk because of that. While men may indulge in drinking alcohol.
Before you move to stress eating, for once, ask yourself-"What is bothering me?" "Why am I annoyed?"
Once you have the clarity about Introspecting yourself you can take action towards it without depending on others.
2. Tune into happy music-
It has been scientifically proven that music has positive effects on us. In fact, music is an excellent stress reliever and is used in various pain management centers and hospitals to ease patients.
But we have this habit of wrapping ourselves into sad music, sad films, being alone whenever we are in a bad mood which ultimately makes us sadder.
So next time, if you want to shift your mood into a happy one, tune into your energetic playlist and jump onto the floor to dance.
3. Seek sunlight-
Do you know that sitting for just 5 minutes under the sunlight can boost our mood? According to Healthline sunlight not only provides us vitamin D but also releases a chemical, called serotonin, which makes a person calm and relaxed.
When there is less exposure to the sun, our serotonin level starts to decrease which may result in chronic depression.
It's important to take proper sunlight and what's better than absorbing the rays of the sun in the winter season?
4. Choose right over unhealthy-
How many times have you raced towards the kitchen or fridge whenever you were feeling low? Eating food because of stress or other issues is known as emotional eating.
Jumping into ice-creams, a packet of chips, alcohol won't help you instead will give you major health problems.
So why choose unhealthy, when you have so many healthier and tastier options in front of you!
Studies suggest that eating foods rich in Omega-3 acids prevents depression and mental illness. So, include nuts, seeds, milk, and other good food products in your diet
5. Allow yourself to vent-
When you have bottled up your emotions for a very long time, you may experience anger or frustration. Crying helps to release toxins from the body and improves our mood.
You may have felt relaxed the last time you cried. This is because you threw the negative emotions out of your body and lighten the burden inside your heart.
Next time, if you feel the urge to cry, then cry yourself out and relax your body and mind.
Remember-Crying is never a sign of weakness or shame.
6. Pray-
It is always suggested whenever someone is in a bad mood, then he should try meditation. But how can someone sit in a position to meditate? I can never do so especially when I am stressed about something.
The only thing I do is- I pray. I pray to God and cry out loud in front of him. Because I know only he can sort out my problems and lift me up, no matter how many times I fall.
It doesn't matter how much money you have or how busy you are, taking 5 minutes out of your day to go to a temple or church will not make you a small person.
Pray and let God do wonders for you!
7. Feel the abundance-
Often times we look for those things that we haven't received or got and make ourselves sad, but what about those miracles and magic that happen every day? Those miracles about whom we aren't even aware of.
Can you think of a miracle you witnessed the last time? Looking for positivity around you when you are engulfed in negativity can be tough. However, only these small things and being grateful for what you already have can lighten up your mood.
Final Words
Tried up everything and still aren't able to achieve that happy mood? Then you must seek professional help before things get out of hand.
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Who doesn't want a happy life? Who doesn't want a new car, a better job, a financially secured career?
Everyone looks for ways to enjoy and be happy. But if something bad persists, our happiness immediately turns into sadness and we start blaming the environment or our surroundings.
Whenever something bad happens or a person is sad, it is always said that- "be positive"! But no one can remain positive all the time. It's impossible to not let situations or people affect you especially if you are an overthinker.
Related: How to stop overthinking?
Being a happy person requires more good thoughts, good feelings, and letting go of all those things that don't serve your happiness.
Instead of depending on others to be happy, you must let go of some things that suck the happy person out of you.
Here are 10 things to let go of to be a happy person:
1. Let go of the past-
Letting go of the past and moving on can be difficult if you are in love or attached to a person who once made you feel like you are on top of heaven. However, continuing a relationship with them just because you both share some good memories will only cause you more pain.
I know it is hard to accept that the person you once loved has changed and you cannot forgive them. But to live a happy and peaceful life, you must learn to forgive, not for them, but for yourself.
Related: Tips to let go of the past
2. No self-doubt-
You can become your biggest enemy if you continue to criticize yourself and making yourself feel inferior. Continuous negative self-talk can make you believe that you are less deserving and have no self-esteem. This can not only damage your self worth but also your mental health. So, the most important thing to focus on is how you speak to yourself.
3. Let go of toxic people-
There will always be some toxic people in your life. They can be your partner, a friend, a colleague, or someone from your family. Pouring so much energy and effort into these people will only give you pain and stress. So, why surround yourself with such people? Imagine turning all those negative emotions into positive ones and be a happy person. But you might ask-"How can I do so?"
Well, for that, you must first identify those people and then remove them from your life.
Read this article by Healthline and learn how to deal with toxic people.
4. Let go of the unrealistic appreciation-
This does not mean that you should not expect the appreciation of the good deeds you do for others. However, you cannot force anybody to like you and respect you, so you have to stop looking for appreciation at the doors that don't open for you.
Do good deeds, be kind but don't do it for the sake of wanting appreciation and respect.
5. Do not chase people-
I had always chased people and begged them to not leave me but they still left because they wanted to. They didn't want to be in my life so all my requests and pleasing didn't affect them.
Hence, then what's the matter of chasing people? Somebody who doesn't want to hear from you will not call you. Somebody who doesn't want to spend time with you will not make plans to meet you.
You cannot force them to stay. The more you will force, the more they will move away from you.
Thus, pursuing somebody will not give you happiness. If you want to live a happy life, focus on yourself, and let people go if they want to leave.
6. Let go of control-
The need to control everything will not give you happiness but instead, increase your stress level. If you are a control freak and like to control people according to your own way then that could destroy your relationships with others.
Start doing guided meditations that can help you remain calm and reduce the possibility of anxiety that you get if something doesn't go your way.
7. Nobody is perfect-
Striving to become better is good but you must also know that you cannot be perfect in terms of everything. Nobody is perfect. Everyone has faults which are completely fine because that's what makes all of us unique and beautiful.
Also, if you see someone on social media who you think has a perfect body, perfect partner, dream house, big car and you get jealous by seeing that their life is perfect. Then you must also think beyond the camera because people will only post what they want to. In reality, everyone faces ups and downs!
8. Worrying about the future-
I often get stress about worrying about my future. When I know that the future is uncertain, still I waste hours thinking about- "What will happen?" and "What if this happens?" These questions bring me so much anxiety and I cry without knowing the exact reason.
So if you also worry about your future, please stop doing that! Stop wasting your time and energy about uncertainty and instead do some mediation or distract yourself into something better and let your intuition guide you.
9. Let go of the fear of failure
We all have fear of failure, also known as "atychiphobia" that does not let us move forward and seek great opportunities that are waiting for us. Failure is a part of our life. Without failure, we cannot identify our strengths.
I know it is easy to say, but at some point when this fear starts sucking our happiness we have to accept, learn, and let go of it.
10. Resistance to change
Being afraid of the change causes us to self-sabotage and does not allow us to recognize the real meaning behind that change. Once you are in your comfort zone, you won't like to get out of it and will start resisting.
I know it's not easy to get out of your comfort area because I am also afraid of the change. But if we won't let go of it, we cannot be delighted.
If you are facing a situation right now where you have to move out of your comfort zone, say in terms of job or profession, then instead of weeping about the situation, think that you deserve better than this!
Conclusion
In the end, only you are responsible for your happiness. So let go of all these things, people, jobs that no longer serve you because only you matter in the end.
Think for yourself! Love yourself!
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