How often do you pass remarks casually to someone jokingly or just passing by? It happens all the time, right?
Have you ever considered how those words would make the other person feel? Probably not.
The worst part? We don't make these casual, often harsh statements to strangers. Instead, we say them to those we claim to love and care about: our parents, siblings, spouse, friends, in-laws, or children. However, we rarely pause to consider whether our comments have harmed someone.
We think we are just joking, but we never realize that the other person might take it seriously and feel deeply hurt. Sometimes, a simple remark can be enough to make someone feel “worthless,” “useless,” or “unlovable.”
Its their problem, they took it personally!
You might dismiss their feelings by saying, "if they are crying over silly things, its their problem." Yes, it is their problem!
But as someone who cares for them, dont you think you should not have said what you felt?
Most people grew up surrounded by people who would constantly compare them, judge, or criticize them. When you provide a comment that appears to be harmless, it may awaken past painful memories in their life. Comments that you think are pointless may bring them memories of having felt inferior for years.
We always say we are right. Maybe we are!
However, the other person is also not wrong; they are just different! And if they are taking things personally, instead of judging them or labeling them, it is our responsibility to keep our mouths shut and love them.
Even if your intentions are not to hurt someone, it’s better to hold back rather than risk triggering someone’s deep-seated insecurities. After all, why say something that could bring back painful memories for them?
A mother and a daughter relationship
Every mother wants the best for their children. But sometimes, unknowingly, moms say so demeaning words to their daughters that it just breaks down the confidence of that girl.
Saying things like,
1. "You don't know how to speak with confidence like your cousins".
2. "You will live with difficulty at your in-laws because you don't know how to cook".
3. "You should lose weight, or no one will find you attractive.".
Many other such remarks can hit the daughter so badly that she might start thinking she is useless or worthless and she is not good enough.
Yes, I know your motive is to make your daughter strong and happy, but demeaning her is not the right way. Over time, such remarks can lead a young girl to believe she is not good enough. She might start seeing herself as incompetent, inadequate, or unworthy of love and respect.
Do you want your daughter to always seek validation outside of her because she doesn'tknow how to be secure within herself? The choice is in your hands!
What can we do?
- Think Before You Speak: If there is even a remote possibility that your words will injure someone, opt to remain silent.
- Validate Feelings, Not Insecurities: Rather than comparing or criticizing others, encourage them by recognizing their accomplishments and abilities.
- Encourage with Love, Not Criticism: Use kindness rather than belittlement to help someone improve.
- Apologize When Necessary: If you realize your words have hurt someone, admit it and apologize. It’s never too late to make things right.
Final Thoughts
Words have the power to heal or break someone. The choice of how we use them lies entirely in our hands. We must learn to be compassionate, mindful, and loving in our speech. Let's create an environment where our loved ones feel valued and not belittled.
Because in the end, people will forget what you said but never forget how you made them feel.
Comments
Post a Comment