How to rebuild your confidence when failures hit you

Picking yourself up after failures can be tough. I know because I have been through it. 

No human in this world is 100% happy or living his best life. We all have low moments, sudden mishappenings, and lose our way. 

Some of us find our way back and go over the moon while some of us take time to get back on track. In life's journey, we may feel lonely, depressed, or even drop our confidence.



 Building confidence is a much easier task than rebuilding it. Because when you don't know anything, suppose you don't know how to drive a car, you will practice it and eventually learn it and have confidence over your driving skills.

On the other hand, rebuilding that confidence again what you have already tried or you already know can be difficult.

And that is why we are here to:-  

Rebuild our confidence when failures hit us

The most common excuse we all make when something doesn't work out is- "Well, if this won't happen, maybe it's not suppose to happen!"

This isn't how life works!

If you are continuously thinking of a negative outcome, you may soon receive the negative outcome and then you will say- "I knew this would happen!"

And it isn't because life didn't want to give it to you, it's because you were thinking about it most of the time.


Let's find out how we can shift our focus back towards ourselves and jump out of the current zone that we are facing.


1. Take a break- Taking a break is a good option to de-stress your mind after unexpected setbacks or failures. Failures are meant to give you lessons or make you learn something which you would never learn if you would still be doing the same thing.

Or if you are pushing or beating yourself up and taking the entire burden on yourself about a current situation, then it's of no use. Taking the blame is not beneficial, not even for the short-term.

So, if you are struggling with unemployment or boredom after a sudden mishappening, try indulging in some other activity and shift your focus into something else. 


2. Embrace past victories- Remember the last time your dream job landed in your lap? That promotion you received without even putting many efforts! Reminiscing the past victories allows us to be more open to future opportunities. They allow us to think broader and better.

You might be aware that J.K Rowling received many rejections before publishing the Harry Potter Book. She dragged herself from severe poverty and became the first billionaire to enter into the name of Forbes. 

Even after several setbacks and facing rejections she didn't sit back and did not have negative self-talk instead, she worked hard to make her dream turn into reality.


3. Do some Voluntary act- If you are free right now and looking for your dream job, try volunteering in the same field or whatever you like. You will get the same sense of deadlines, schedules, and dependency on people that you would get in a paid job. Moreover, it will give you a new feel of experience and confidence and you might become more informative about the current trends in the industry.

Hence, start looking for voluntary opportunities along with paid jobs to gain more confidence and give your best. 
You never know what your efforts mean to the other person and you might get a great chance to sharpen your skills.


4. Find a meaning- It's completely our choice as to how we deal with a particular situation. If you are hit back with a failure in your life, then it's up to you if you will consider it as a loss or a lesson. Sometimes, the biggest breakthroughs come in our life after major breakdowns. 

Re-building your confidence consists of giving meaning to the current situation or circumstance. Now that's what most of us fail to do so. We generally label a sudden mishappening as a "failure" or a "loss". Why? because that's how our brain works. Our brain immediately picks up an unwanted outcome or thing and consider it as negative without even realizing the actual purpose of it.

Start looking at your unwanted situation as a guide on how it is helping you or how it will take you to your desired destination. Give it an empowering meaning!


5.  Don't resist the change- Resisting and holding on to things will not take you anywhere. When what you want is going away from you, you hold it tight and prevent it from running away. I know it's difficult to let go of what you want as it gives you happiness and joy. However, if you will change your mindset and start accepting the situations and things as it is, you will find that you are in the best place in your life.




Let's say, you just lost your job or didn't do well in your exams and because of that, you have lost all your confidence. So rather than worrying and wanting those things back accept that situation and see what it is conveying to you as you will find the courage and confidence to move on in life.


6. Stand up on your own- Start taking baby steps and start moving forward. No matter how powerless you feel, you have to stand on your own to achieve your goals. Nobody is going to come and save you. 

Even this blog post that you are reading is also your own choice to read, nobody can force you. 

Hence, when you have lost all your confidence and you are facing a challenge, know that you have to stand up on your feet. Be willing to move forward instead of laying back and think negatively.
No matter how vague the idea is or how small your step is, taking one step at a time can help you reach your desired goal.


Final words before goodbye

Building confidence again starts with building a new mindset and how we look at things.
If you think of a situation as negative, change your mentality towards it, and try thinking differently.

It's not about being happy or joyful even in stressful situations, it's about looking at the stressful situation in a new and a different way with the hope of getting better.


With hardly two days left for 2021, remove all the negativity and unnecessary worries from your life.

Stop worrying and start being hopeful that the Universe is always working out in your favor! 

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