How To Stop Being Toxic And Be A Better Person

Sometimes the problem is with you- and not with them!
Have you thought that maybe you are hard to deal with? Or why your relationships ain't working?

Yes, it's possible that the other person doesn't deserve you and is constantly hurting you all the time but what if you also have some toxic traits which you are not even aware of!

Look, it's not about being a people-pleaser or beg someone to be with you. The point is, to be aware of the toxic traits you might have and work on them.
 We all have bad experiences when it comes to relationships or friendships. People may come into our lives for a few weeks or months and then leave all of sudden! 

In that case, you might have thought that maybe they don't deserve to be in your life. But what if you have exhausted them so much that they had no choice but to leave you!

You got so busy calculating their mistakes, or finding faults in their actions that you forgot that even you are not perfect! 
If you are having some issue in your relationship right now, you are only focusing on yourself and you are preferring your mental peace over anyone else and are in no mood to think the other way.

Have you tried to ask the other person what is bothering them? Why they are behaving the way they shouldn't?

Here comes another difference- If a person abuses you physically or psychologically- then that is not your mistake at any cost! 
In that case, they are being highly toxic and narcissistic and are sucking up your blood like a leech!

The fact is to know what are the toxic traits and learn the steps to work on them if you have one!

Signs of a Toxic Person

Toxicity has its levels. Some people are highly toxic and don't want to change at any cost while some have few traits of toxicity and if they work upon themselves then can let toxicity go out of their life.

If you have some or more toxic traits then it doesn't mean you are a terrible person and you don't have the right to live peacefully. The aim is to find out your toxic traits, learn from them, and work upon yourself so that you can inspire someone out there and be a happy person. These can be:

  • Dominating others
  • Extreme Selfishness
  • Doesn't care about the feelings of others
  • Always try to make somebody inferior
  • They usually play the victim card
  • Talking negatively all the time
  • Using and manipulating others for your own purpose
  • Constantly lies about everything
No relationship works without effort. The two individuals have to give equal time and care to maintain their relationship. When you face a relationship issue, it's hard to describe who is being toxic, so if you or someone you know have such traits, then it's time to work upon them.

Before we move towards the steps to be a better person for ourselves and others, we need to know the signs of a narcissist so that we don't get confused between the both and accept less than what we deserve.

Signs of a Narcissist 

A narcissist is a person who has annoying, frustrating, or hurtful behavior that doesn't let you live peacefully if you are with them.
They try to degrade you and abuse you one minute and in the very next minute makes you fall into their false love trap.

Here are some signs of a narcissist in brief. Find out more on 

  1. They are always wrapped in their own opinion and don't listen to you.
  2. They tend to cheat in relationships as they find cheating as a boost to their ego.
  3. They may look tough on the outside but in reality, they are very weak and need constant love from others.
  4. They always throw tantrums at you and don't show empathy towards you.
  5. They abuse you physically or mentally so much that sometimes you get used to that state and can't find a way to get out of that situation.
  6. They often get jealous of seeing other people's success.
  7. They don't find faults in their actions and think they are right with what they are doing.
  8. They can also be psycho-lover who hostage you and beat you while justifying that they love you.

How to work on your Toxic Traits and be a Better Person

  • You need to stop reprimanding others for your own problems
Do you often blame others for the problems or issues you are facing? Imagine you had a fight with your friend and instead of listening to them you are constantly blaming them and saying that it's their fault and are in no mood to listen to them. 
Take a moment to reflect back and think- How many times have you apologized to others for your mistakes? How many times have you owed up to your blunders?
Saying sorry and accepting your mistake will not make you small or harm your self-respect. Always take charge of your own issues.

  • You are not always right
Your stubborn behavior of - "I am always right" and "I know better than others" is making you toxic and negative in front of other people. Nobody wants to be with someone who is so self-centered and who doesn't listen to others. This behavior may boost your ego or satisfy your soul temporarily but you will end up losing the people who genuinely care for you.
Try listening to others more and then give your viewpoint!

  • You need to let things go and focus on the present
"Once your friend hurt you and even today after so many years  when you think about it you fill yourself with rage." Sounds familiar? Well, this is a sign of a negative and toxic person who can't let things go and is still stuck in that particular situation.
The best thing you have to do is to let go of the past and continue to move forward in your life. There are so many beautiful moments waiting for you to experience. Leave every bad thing that hurt you in the past and choose to smile!
  • Start giving space to others and let them be free
Ever heard from someone that you are irritating them? This may sound hurtful. But if you are not giving space and time to others what do you expect them to say? Your impatient behavior and the need to be with them all the time can emotionally and mentally drain the other person and they have no choice but to leave you. 
If facing any issue within your relationship, give space to another person and let time heal things, don't think about them about much, and focus on self-love, your goals, and other things.

  • You are dishonest with the other person
If you are dishonest with your friends, family, and partner, regardless of the thing you are dishonest about- how can they trust you in the long run? Trust is the foundation of any strong relationship. If you want the other person to love you and be honest with you then you should also reciprocate the same or else you may lose your beautiful relationship with someone.

Change is possible with self-love

You can change every negative situation into a positive one if you are aware of the root of the problem.

If you think you have any of these traits? Start working on them with the above-mentioned points and be a kinder person towards yourself and society!

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