6 Signs You Lack Self-Love

6 Signs you lack Self-love

Self-love is a basic foundation for attracting good relations into our lives. If you do not have love within yourself you cannot give love to others.

When someone asks me, why have I created a blog on Self-love?  Why not something else?

My answer is- What I am doing to make myself better, I want others to do the same.

Yes, I am not a professional coach or a book writer nor even a therapist. But I am a human who has endured so much in her life, that now she is willing to make someone else's life better.

Whenever I get texts like - "I am reading your articles and they are really helping me", this actually makes me realize that I am not doing anything wrong. Because if my 1 self-written and self-experienced article can make someone's day better then it automatically makes my day.

If you ask me when did I realized the importance of self-love?
I will give you an honest answer, and that is when my own friends made me feel less comfortable. When some of the people to whom I was so close, lied to me on my face, and the list goes on. 

Then I asked myself is this my life purpose? 
This is the reason am I alive for 23 years for listening that I am good for nothing?

People gossip to put you down, people talk to give you self-doubt. But it is completely up to us if we want to get influenced by their shitty talks or we want to recreate ourselves!

Here are the 6 important signs that say you lack self-love

When you feel yourself incorporating any of these signs, know that you are lacking self-love and you need to immediately work on that area.

1.  Judging Others- 

Yes, when you judge others, it means you don't love yourself. Now you will ask how is this even possible?
Of course, it is possible, and it is very well true. 
We often have a fear of getting judged by the society we live in.

What will they say? How will they react?
But imagine this, when you are passing comments to someone or someone's lifestyle, how would they feel?
If a girl is living her life, using her own money to pay bills, chilling out with her boyfriend, why does it bother you?
It shows that your judgemental behavior pattern needs to be changed and it means that in some areas of your life you are lacking self-love.
Because if you would really love yourself, you wouldn't be sitting and judging others.

Ask yourself- How many times I had made fun of someone? and What if someone does the same to me?

2. Not doing the right thing for yourself-

We often mistake self-love into freedom, i.e doing what we like. This " is a broad concept".
 It actually says do what makes you happy and which is good for the long term. 
We interpret into doing all those things that make us happy even if it is too costly or hurting someone else.
Self-love never says make someone inferior to yourself, self-love never says have weed and cocaine just because it gives you pleasure for a temporary period of time, it never says play with your partner's feelings or use them to get any advantage.
This definition of self-love is completely wrong.
When you are having sex with someone whom you do not love but you know they love you and you are taking complete advantage of their feelings is lust and not self-love.

Self-love means to do the right things for yourself, making the right decisions for yourself.
If you want to opt for a field in your career which you know is right for you and you have complete interest in that, then that is the right thing!

I hope this point cleared some of your doubts regarding the right and the wrong things.

3. Begging people to call you or give you attention-

"Mendy Hale said- The two things you will never have to chase: True Friends & True Love."

 If you have to chase or beg someone to stay in your life, then they don't belong in your life.

Loving someone is okay but begging them is not! If you are putting efforts to talk to them, to make time for them, why can't they? 
And if you find yourself asking them to talk to you even if it's for 2 minutes, then I request you please don't do that!
These are the red flags the universe is sending to you and asking you to realize your worth.

I know it is difficult.  When you are so much in love with someone you can't go a day without talking to them.
I was also doing the same, texting and calling all the time, used to wait for a call and when my phone rang, I used to immediately pick up the call hoping it's him!
But he never made any efforts to reply back to my 100 of calls and text messages.
And 1 day, I gave up! Not on myself, but on him, on our toxic relationship!

This is what you should do! Instead of asking for someone to give you love and time- love yourself, and make time for yourself.

4. Getting jealous of someone- 

If you see someone who is doing well in life and if you get jealous of them and their success, then you lack love for yourself. 
For example, if you and your friend have given an interview and your friend gets selected but you got a rejection, you start being jealous of them.
Your jealousy indicates your insecurity and insecurity comes from a lack of love with oneself.
If you'd see a prettier woman, you would get jealous and insecure and you might think your boyfriend is going to dump you and would choose that woman over you.
This may create a lot of misunderstanding between you both and you guys might end up with a breakup!

Just after you find yourself experiencing these emotions, give yourself a hug and know that you are human and you can go much beyond rather than being jealous of someone.

5. You lack confidence-

Self-confidence is about having enough trust in yourself and a belief that you can handle any situation or task efficiently and effectively. It is knowing that you have the skills to approach and communicate with someone confidently.
Lack of self-confidence states that you do not think you are good enough. You do not believe in yourself and the decisions you make.
In fact, you think you are indecisive so you cannot take decisions for yourself and you always need the help of someone to guide you.

If you are the one thinking that you lack confidence,
here are some tips for you15-ways-regain-self-confidence.html 

6. Over-analyzing your behavior

Over-analyzing your own behavior is part of a lack of self-love. 
For instance, you try to copy someone else and want to behave like someone else so that you can also get some attention is not the right thing to do.
I have this habit of overthinking and over analyzing then making myself feel bad.
Ughh!!! I hate this feeling of being sad without actually any valid reason.

Do you also overthink just like me?
Are you thinking negatively?
Are there too many thoughts running inside your head?

If your answer is yes, then you can change yourself.
You don't need to become like someone else, you just have to improve yourself.
Self-improvement comes with self-acceptance.


 We humans have been given the power to change anything. So lets first begin with improving ourselves and our dear ones. 
These signs do not make you a week or a bad person. These are there to help you, to make you more strong and happy.
If you find yourself dealing with any serious condition, take the help of a doctor. 
Have the courage to step out and show your true self to the world.

Be kind and generous towards yourself as well as others!

Meanwhile, you can also share your experience and your journey towards Self-love. I would love to hear from you!

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