Self Sabotage- How To Stop It?

Are you someone who is facing problems in your relationships? Or you are not able to achieve your career goals? Or you know that going to the gym will help you to reduce your weight but still, you are lazy enough and can't go?

Then in all these cases, you might be self-sabotaging yourself!

Often times, we people don't really know that our behavior is harming us. We may think that there are certain people or things that are unlucky for our goals, and maybe because of this, we are always failing. 

However, we forget to look within ourselves and the words we say or the way we behave.

So what exactly Self-Sabotage is?

Self-sabotage, in simple words, means - "Doing the opposite of what you want and need". It simply means behaving in a way that holds you back from your goals or may cause problems in your relationships or even cause you stress.

When you hold yourself from reaching your full potential, is self-sabotaging.

Common Examples of Self-Sabotaging

• Resist To Change- Knowing that getting out of our comfort zone will give us happiness and we can reach our goals but still we are not doing it as we are afraid of change.
• Overeating- You know emotionally that you are eating a lot which is bad for you, but still, you want to eat it because of your cravings.
• Making-up excuses- You are someone who gives long explanations and excuses for why you didn't do a task.
• Destructive habits- These include Netflix binge, having drugs, alcohol, laziness, and so on.
• Procrastination- This refers to knowing you have a deadline tomorrow but still you are avoiding or not completing your assigned task.
• Self-criticism- Always criticizing yourself or your worth by saying bad or negative words to yourself.

Related:criticizing-worst-enemy.html

The need is to get aware of sabotaging ourselves and once we become aware of why we are pulling ourselves from the next level of happiness we can easily get amazing things in life.

Now, let's find out why do we self-sabotage ourselves?

"Why do I enjoy things that are actually taking me away from my goals, success, happiness?"

Can you answer it?

And the answer is "yes"!

The most simple and obvious reason is that we are comfortable.

We love to stay comfortable. We love to rest in our comfort zone.

And self-sabotage happens when we are at the edge of that comfort zone.

For instance; when you have to lose weight, you know you have to go to the gym, wake up early for that, or if you have to go in the evening, you know you cannot lay in bed after work, but prepare to go for the gym.

Then you may sabotage yourself by not going there or saying that you would start from Monday but that Monday never comes.

The second reason for me is self-confidence. Self-confidence has a lot to do with our self worth and our happiness. We are not going to achieve anything unless we believe that we deserve it.

You see any sports player, he plays with full confidence and he wins, because he believes in himself and even if he does not win, he still believes in himself and pats his back and says that he will do better the next time.

When we set a goal, we desire to reach it and get success in our life. But, if we will doubt ourselves by thinking, "what if I cant do it or what if someone else made it earlier" and imagining the worse scenarios like these creates self-sabotage.

Now that we have some reasons behind the psychology of sabotaging, we can easily try to stop it.

How To Stop Self-Sabotaging?

1. Start Noticing- Instead of beating yourself up, or taking stress, or doing the negative self-talk, I would encourage you to pay attention. When you find yourself holding you back from certain things, pay attention to what is it? Which thing is stopping you? Why you are not able to get out of your comfort zone? You don't have to do something big, but to notice.

2. Believe That You Deserve More- You have to start believing in yourself. Believe that you deserve more abundance in your life. Believe that you are worthy of that goal, that success, good health, better relationships, and everything. It's your birthright. You are not chasing or snatching these things from someone. You have a full right over it.

3. Manage Your Fears- You have to learn to manage your fears. If something which you want involves some risk, don't be afraid to pursue it. A successful man is that who overcomes his fear and work towards his goals. Also, procrastination is a form of fear. When you procrastinate you are actually afraid of taking an action because you care about things a lot. Do not be afraid of failures or losses and try to overcome your fears.

4. Do Workout- Exercise is a powerful way to keep the mind healthy. Regular exercise can help to maintain both the mind and the body. Researchers suggest that exercise increases blood flow to your brain and more blood flow means more nutrition for your brain. Along with exercise, eating healthy food also promotes good health. We all know the benefits of a good diet and workout. So stop waiting and start hustling!

5. Talk About It- Whether it be someone else or with yourself sometimes it helps to actually hear ourselves. It is often said that "we are our own worst critics" meaning we are often much harder on ourselves than on others. When we will speak about our issues we will get its solutions, and if not solutions at least a second opinion. It is up to us if we want to apply that solution or not, but anyhow we talked about it. Even talking about your issue aloud will make you realize your potential and that you can deal with anything strongly and calmly.

Related: why-believe-yourself-must.html

Conclusion

There are a lot of times when we overthink and we try to procrastinate. When we are not ready to give the same amount of effort that we gave earlier and we are afraid to push yourself out of our comfort zone is self-sabotage.

Now that you know the reason behind this sabotaging behavior, I hope you will try to eliminate it from your life so that you can enjoy more levels of success and happiness in your life.