Are you still stuck on someone who has already left?

Do you still find yourself thinking about a friend or lover who has already left you?

Do you still cry when you think of the time you spent with them?

If yes, then you are doing wrong to yourself.

Of course, some people would say that it's okay to feel what you feel. 

That's true! You cannot move on from someone just like that especially when you have invested your time and energy in them. 

But for a second, think logically that what are you even doing? Wasting your present moment over someone who doesn't even text you to ask- "if you are okay?"  

Feeling stuck in your memory and not being able to enjoy your present life is the most painful thing. 

No matter how much we say we don't miss them, it's heartbreaking when something important happens in your life and you want to share it with them but can't.

As a result, we must first understand why this hurt so much.

Why does it hurt so much?

When people are hurting after a breakup, their first thought is usually, "How long will this last?" Of course, there is no one-size-fits-all solution to this problem. But we need to go inside it deeply and find out its root.

Relationships hold great importance in our lives. To survive and thrive, humans depend upon each other. And when any relationship fails, you lose the meaning that comes with it. We experience pain in both personal and professional relationships which cause us misery and agony. And losing one's significance is similar to losing a piece of oneself. As a result, your relationships, sense of meaning and purpose, and sense of self are all entangled.

This empty void of loneliness either gets us into depression or on the wrong path. Therefore it is essential to take the help of your loved ones or a professional during this time.

What does your body undergo during this moment?

The first thing I want to tell you is that it's fine to express your feelings since suppressing them will cause your body more pain.

But there should also be a limit to getting sad. You cannot spend your entire day thinking about someone and getting lost. Because when you feel stressed, your body undergoes many problems such as:

• Heart pounds faster
• Tightening of the muscles
• The rise in blood pressure
• Low self-esteem
• Becoming easily agitated or frustrated
• Upset stomach
• Headache
• Low energy
• Chest pain
• Insomnia
• Frequent colds and infection
• Weak immune system

There are a lot more emotional and internal issues that our bodies face when we are constantly sad or depressed. As a result, we must find a way to prevent ourselves from succumbing to depression and facing serious problems.

In this blog, you won't find any tools or techniques to get over someone. But here, we will learn some ways to enjoy the process of healing in a better way. 

Ways to get over someone and heal yourself

Here are some of the practices one can follow that will help him move on in his life and do something better.

1. Accept your feelings- Just like we mourn over the death of someone, in the same way, we mourn when a friend or lover leaves our life. This mourning and grieving are not wrong. They were once with you and are now gone, so it's natural to miss them and think about them. It is reasonable to grieve the end of a relationship for some time. "Allow yourself to suffer. Get everything out of your system emotionally so you can move on. Have your breakdowns ready." Holding it in will cause the process of moving on to be slowed.

2. Stop your inner critic- The voice you hear from your inside which is negative most of the time is known as the "inner critic." This merciless "voice" critiques, instructs and even pities us (and others) in ways that undermine us while we're on top and kick us down when we're on the bottom. When you become caught up in your thoughts, it's far tougher to figure out how to move forward. Stop listening to this voice as soon as you hear it since it does not understand your worth.

3. Thank them for the life lessons- Instead of thinking about what they must be doing or where you stand in your life, thank them for all the life lessons they have taught you. Every person who comes into our lives is either a blessing or a lesson. Think about the good times when they have supported you, picked you up, and all the beautiful moments you guys have spent together. 

4. Take outside help- You cannot spend your entire day mourning over your broken relationship or friendship or else, you will fall sick. Instead, seek the support of your family members and closest friends. Spend time with them. Call them frequently, but don't bring up the same person you were crying about.  They can help you cross off the bridge you were afraid to step onto.

5. Invest in yourself- This is the ideal time to focus solely on yourself and ensure that all of your needs are met. "Pay attention to your self-development and self-esteem because they can suffer at times." Whether it's through exercise or a hobby, do something that you enjoy doing, or learning. So you feel like you're reclaiming your best self and regaining your confidence."

6. Stop expecting closure- It is the hardest part of the healing. When someone stops talking to us or leaves us, we expect them to give us closure, which hinders our healing. But most of the time they don't This creates more pain and hurt. So we should let them go without expecting anything in return. 

7. Stop communicating if it bothers you- This goes hand in hand with taking space from someone on social media. If you continue to talk to the person or hook up with them, it will just be that much harder to get over them in the long run, particularly if you are secretly hoping for a change of heart.

8. Know your worth- Remember that someone else leaving you does not make you unworthy or unlovable. You did your best and, you loved them with all your heart. If they still want to go, let them go. Focus on loving yourself and making yourself better.

Related: 20 ways to practice self-love

Final Words

It's fine to miss someone, but it's not right to allow it negatively impact your mental and physical well-being. If you find yourself thinking about someone more than you should, use these techniques to heal yourself.