Why putting yourself over others isn't a bad choice?

 If you have read my ebook "It All Starts With You", you already know what topic I am going to write about here.

In that e-book, I have already shared the importance of self-care and why putting yourself over others is not selfish.

I don't know what inspired me, but in this blog post, I again want to talk about the same. Perhaps because self-care is still undervalued today.

Part of the cultural society, especially when it comes to women are believed to be a superwoman. They are considered to work and do stuff for others and never get tired. In fact, men too are thought to be emotionless and robust because they are never seen expressing their concerns like women and being vulnerable.

Therefore, self-care and putting yourself before others are essential for everyone irrespective of gender. 

The real issue arises when we consider elevating ourselves above others. When we love our family, spouse, friends, and children, we tend to consider their needs above ours and how we can meet them.

Being considerate and compassionate toward others is vital but you must first put your own oxygen mask on before assisting others.

Why putting yourself first is necessary?

I have seen people working day and night to fulfill their family responsibilities while taking care of everyone else's needs but ignoring their own. When asked why they don't take a break for themselves, they usually reply they have lots to do on their to-do list.

However, what they don't realize is that nobody can pour from an empty jug. If you have an empty glass with you, you cannot pour water from it for the other person.

It is entirely your responsibility to also take care of your needs because not everybody has the same heart as you.

The top reasons that confirm putting yourself first are not bad

Here are some of the best reasons that will not make you feel guilty over choosing yourself before others:

1. You can't serve others- No matter how much you do for others you will always end up being dissatisfied if you don't know how to put yourself first. If you want to be selfless and giving, you must start with yourself. When your own needs are met, you can give genuinely and without expectation to others.

2. Key to happiness- When you are satisfied with your life, you become more peaceful and content. When you put your needs first, your best self emerges. You have more to give to others when you support yourself. In addition to feeling good, it also makes you feel your best around your loved ones.

3. It is not selfish- Our childhood conditioning makes us think that if we choose ourselves over others, we displease our loved ones. But that is not the reality. In fact, respecting your emotions and working towards reaching a content state of mind make you less irritated and less angry. Hence, it is not selfish but a selfless act towards oneself.

4. You develop more self-esteem- Self-love and self-care help to integrate self-esteem and confidence within you. The way you choose yourself and talk to yourself depicts your overall self-concept. Hence, putting yourself on a pedestal raises your self-confidence to the next level.

5. You understand yourself better- One aspect of self-care involves spiritual self-love which connects you with yourself in a much better way. When you try journaling, meditation, or grounding work, you gain a better understanding of yourself. You realize the difference between your ego self and your higher self. Moreover, you also reflect on your progress and engage in personal development. Taking better care of yourself allows you to live your life to the fullest.

Self-care does not take much time but offers you plenty of benefits

Setting aside some time for yourself can drastically improve your life. Listen to your soul and find out what makes you happy and content.

Here are some examples to help you start your self-care routine:

• Listening to pump-up/soulful music
• Reading books
• Doing a 5-10 min guided meditation
• Going for a walk
• Spending alone time on your terrace or at the park
• Avoiding junk food and only eating healthy
• Starting and ending your day with gratitude
• Having more fun
• Spending less time on social media
• Treating yourself with compassion
• Forgiving yourself for all your past mistakes
• Looking after your body
• Exercising
• Limiting alcohol consumption

When you start taking care of yourself and being consistent in your daily regime, you will find your energy to be more authentic and healthy. You will realize that all the toxic habits and people are getting removed from your life automatically and only the good things or people are entering your life.

Hence, loving and taking care of yourself is never selfish but a must-act!