How to Not Let Fear Control your Win


Do you know why fear comes? How does a simple emotion overcomes your mind and take away all your happiness?

Imagine a tarot card reader comes to you and says that he can predict your future and according to that you can make the necessary changes in your life. But every time that tarot card reader's prognostications proved wrong.

That tarot card reader is your inner voice of fear, doubt, and anxiety in your mind, always telling you false and baseless stories.

The next time you hear this voice, observe and acknowledge it and try to know its source.

Fear is nothing but a belief you have set up in your mind about things, people, the environment, and the world.
No fear exists in reality but your mind!

When you think of a situation negatively, fear comes and sits inside your mind and then you start worrying about either your past events or your future outcomes.

We are holding a lot of fears that are not letting us reach our desired goals. 

Fears That Are Holding us Back :

  • Fear of failure
  • Fear of losing our loved ones
  • Fear of left out 
  • Fear of rejection
  • Fear of being jobless/broke
  • Fear of being single
  • Fear of being sad
  • Fear of not looking good.
All of these fears and many more tend to cause us anxiety and give us unhappiness. 
Even when there is nothing to stress upon, we find something to worry.

When I was a teenager, I always had this fear of losing friends, (which, of course, we all have). But I was so much into this fear, that now when I think about those times I feel like I was unnecessary running over and chasing people who were never meant to be in my life. 

These kinds of fears are baseless. All those fears, which have only consumed our exuberance are worthless and should be immediately removed from our minds and lives.

Having fear is okay because it keeps you charged and motivated, but letting that fear take over your other emotions and your relationship with yourself isn't appropriate!

This year has given us another fear of death. No doubt, everyone fears death, but Covid19 has made it bigger and larger.

Why Does Fear Come?

We all have been in a situation where everything seemed okay, and then a demon came and made our heart burst.
No, I am not talking about the actual demon, but the shape of a demon that exists in our mind.
For instance, you woke up late at night to go to the washroom and you got frightened to see the spider over there.
Anything scary like that can strike fear in our bodies. The feelings or emotions that we experience have a major source to enter inside us and make an impact on us.

Fear comes from the part of our brain called the Amygdala which is just the size of 2 almonds.
However, despite being minor, its main aim is to keep us alive and aware and for that, it keeps on generating fear so that we can become attentive to run or fight.

Do you feel the pupil of your eye widens up, or a tingling sensation in your abdomen and your body starts sweating out when you feel scared?

Amygdala sends these signals to help us cope with a particular situation.

The bitter cup is that our brain does not know the difference between good challenges and bad challenges.
Whenever it perceives an uncertainty, it immediately warns us and works as a defense mechanism for us.

And when these signals approach us, we work accordingly.

However, we cannot give the power to fear, or else we cannot live our life.

So if you have a fear of not getting out of your comfort zone, you will never able to see what the future holds for you.
If you have this fear of not standing against the cliff you would never see a magnificent view of nature.

How To Stop Fear From Controlling Our Lives?

It's good if you are aware of the danger that your brain has predicted. But learn to know the difference between danger and misapprehension.

The danger is inclined to harm us or cause serious effects on our life.

While misapprehension refers to misconception or a false notion of anything.

You can overcome a danger but not a false belief as that belief only exists in your mind and does not exist in reality.

An incorrect notion will hinder your growth and success and you will never be able to progress.
Hence, it's very important to eliminate the fear to live a stress-free and positive life.

Let's look into the tips to beat fear.

1. Acknowledge your fear.

Acknowledging is the first step to fight with fear. Many of us have those fears, which we don't know, yet they still exist in our subconscious mind. For example, let's say you want to become a social media influencer and you have this fear of appearing in front of a camera, and whenever you start to record yourself, you get anxiety and your hands get sweaty. 
The foremost thing you have to believe here is that it's okay. Everybody faces this. Even the topmost paid influencers/ models have gone through this phase. You only have to listen to these signs, instead of ignoring them!

2. Adjust your perspective.

Now that you know some things or surroundings scare you. The next step you want to do is change your thinking. When you will substitute "I have this biggest fear of XYZ" to "my fear is too small to be seen with a naked eye," you may realize that it was nothing and you were worrying just like that.
For instance, every time you get into a car you have this fear of accident, but the risk is small enough to get you to your desired destiny.
So, if there's a risk of dying from driving a car, why are so many people driving cars and other vehicles?

3. Ask yourself why?

Often we try to meet someone else's expectations more and ours less.
Start asking yourself why do you have this fear of being broke? Why do you think your partner would reject you and choose someone else over you? Why are you afraid of doing a new job or choosing a new career?
Perhaps your answer would be the fear of failure, rejection, and loneliness.
You do want to meet your life partner but you are afraid of being heartbroken again because of past experiences.
But let those experiences guide you and you continue to move ahead.
When you will sit and ask yourself all these questions, you may get some other answer instead of what you were always getting.

4. Accept possibilities.

Accept the fact that you might fall or fail and be okay with it. Sometimes our hardships are the way to our success. When going for interviews accept that you will not be selected immediately. For a better job, you have to go through 3-4 failed interviews, but trust me when you will get your dream job, you will realize all those failures were worth it.

5. Practice.

Mastering this skill to overcome fear takes practice. Start by taking small steps that push you out of your comfort zone. Instead of scrolling social media and wasting your time, start finding out the relevant courses on the internet that can enhance your skills.
 It may seem difficult, but if you want to conquer your fears you have to practice. Eventually, as you practice overcoming fears even if they are small ones, you will become better.

There is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve: the fear of failure.
― Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist

These are the basic steps that work to overcome the beliefs of fear that we have in our minds. Remember, every method works differently with different types of fear.

So figure out which fear is bothering you and stopping you from triumph? 

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