Why you must Reparent Yourself ?

Imagine you have been asked to babysit a child, How would you take care of him/her? 

Or how you see a parent taking care of his/her child? 

Obviously, every parent will give their best to their children. They are feeding them, making them aware of their surroundings, assisting them, helping them in their homework and other stuff, guiding them, and making them aware of right and wrong.

As a parent or an elder sibling, you would never want your child or your younger sibling to suffer from anything, and also you would never try to intentionally hurt them.

Despite providing care and nurturing to children, there are sometimes when a child feels neglectful. Some of us haven't got the same amount of love, time, attention, and validation in our childhood which has left a void in us and is somewhat still present there in our subconscious mind.

That wound comes up when we are triggered or something terrible happens with us. To heal that wound, we need to Reparent Ourselves.

Now, what Reparenting means? 

Reparenting is parenting to our inner child. Reparenting is a process of going back into the past and give yourself what you didn't receive as a child. Basically its a form of healing. You can either heal yourself by applying methods and tools (which we will discuss later on ) or by seeking professional help. It's like you are taking care of yourself like you would do for a child.

First, we need to understand what is an Inner Child? 

We all have an inner child present in us. The inner child is a part of our mind which stores all of our emotional experiences. It is the center of your mind and that part of your mind is affected by something. Even though we are not aware of it but it is still contributing sometimes in our relationships, to the choices we make regarding life, career, and everything else. When we are a child, our mind stores all the information crucially from birth till the age of 10 or 12. Whatever is happening around us or with us is being stored in our minds in a very particular way. Because we as a child have the power to adapt things quickly and easily. This is why it is said that makes good things learn to a child because that will store in his mind forever.

Let's say, you are in your childhood and your dad comes to home in a very grumpy mood or is very bad-tempered. When you go to him to seek love and affection he behaves badly with you and asks you to back off. You as a child does not know what is the cause behind his this behavior! He might had a bad day at the office, his boss overloaded him with work or he is facing financial issues or there can be many other reasons.

But your mind has stored this behavior and you are forced to believe that your father doesn't love you or you are not worthy of love. And you made a belief that something is wrong with me. When a child has that belief locked in his mind, even after 60 years of life that person will still believe it. 

Now come back to the present and see How that incident is reflecting in your current life! 

Your partner comes home, he is also in a bad mood and he might behave rudely with you because he may be facing the same issues that your father was facing. But you are not aware of it and that incident comes back in front of your eyes in a mode of flashback and again you think you are not worthy of love.

This is your wounded inner child talking to you that "your partner doesn't love you, or that he doesn't want to be with you" and you believe that same old belief that you made several years ago, and then you react accordingly.  But when you will look back at the situation, you will realize that nothing is wrong with you, it is the part of yourself that is wounded and needs to be healed. 

Reparenting yourself also does not mean that your parents didn't love you. Nobody can love us or care for us more than our parents. It just means that there may be some incidents in our life that may have hurt us intentionally or unintentionally and we are carrying those issues along with us.

This is the reason why we sometimes overreact in some situations because past events come in front of us and we try to defend ourselves. We don't want to get hurt again by similar occurrences.

Furthermore, it is not necessary that we all have faced traumas or negative experiences. It does not mean that everyone has faced some serious issues at an early age, it means how you dealt with it at that time. There may be anything that had hit out our mind and the mind is still holding it.

We as an adult can experience imbalanced, immature, locked thoughts which forces us to do things in a certain way. When we will find out that this is nothing but our old beliefs and our old thoughts that we have stored at a young age, we can easily deal with it. For that, we must be aware that we have an inner child, that is a part of our mind, which is holding many emotions and experiences in it, some of them are implanted in us in the wrong way and we have to correct them.

So, it is very very important for all of us to look back into our past and let go of all the old beliefs that are offending us and try to check what is that something that hurt us at that time and which we is still keeping it with us.

In the next post, we will learn ways to reparent or heal ourselves so that our present should not suffer.

This subject is wide enough and we must learn it from its depth that is why I decided to continue it in another post.

Tell me what do you think of this topic below in the comment section

Also, I am not professional in this subject, I write down what I find useful and valuable. If you find any article or some line offensive you can email me. 

Till then, be kind. Keep spreading positivity, because the world needs more of it! 

Lots of Love ❤