Moving on is the toughest decision we ever make in our lives. All the flashbacks, memories, late-night calls, and cute conversations hit us hard in the faces and keep replaying in our heads.

But endless fights, disrespectful and mean comments, physical or mental abuse, and feeling miserable, lonely, and unhappy are the TOP SIGNS you must let go of someone you love.

I know how hard it is to suddenly stop talking to someone who you thought was your best friend for life. 

In this post, I will give you some effective steps to follow that will improve your healing journey and help to soothe your wounds. 

Before starting, let me tell you, I too have been through this phase in my life, and it wasn't easy at all. I used to cry almost every day. My chest felt heavy, and my heart was in pain throughout that time. But I followed some steps, took one day at a time, and gradually learned to be emotionally independent.

Related: It All Starts With You- Your guide to self-love

Easy Steps That Will Help You Let Go Of Someone You Love And Fall In Love With Yourself

 If you have read my ebook "It All Starts With You", you already know what topic I am going to write about here.

In that e-book, I have already shared the importance of self-care and why putting yourself over others is not selfish.

I don't know what inspired me, but in this blog post, I again want to talk about the same. Perhaps because self-care is still undervalued today.

Part of the cultural society, especially when it comes to women are believed to be a superwoman. They are considered to work and do stuff for others and never get tired. In fact, men too are thought to be emotionless and robust because they are never seen expressing their concerns like women and being vulnerable.

Therefore, self-care and putting yourself before others are essential for everyone irrespective of gender. 

The real issue arises when we consider elevating ourselves above others. When we love our family, spouse, friends, and children, we tend to consider their needs above ours and how we can meet them.

Being considerate and compassionate toward others is vital but you must first put your own oxygen mask on before assisting others.

Why putting yourself first is necessary?

The top reasons that confirm putting yourself first are not bad

1. You can't serve others- No matter how much you do for others you will always end up being dissatisfied if you don't know how to put yourself first. If you want to be selfless and giving, you must start with yourself. When your own needs are met, you can give genuinely and without expectation to others.

2. Key to happiness- When you are satisfied with your life, you become more peaceful and content. When you put your needs first, your best self emerges. You have more to give to others when you support yourself. In addition to feeling good, it also makes you feel your best around your loved ones.

4. You develop more self-esteem- Self-love and self-care help to integrate self-esteem and confidence within you. The way you choose yourself and talk to yourself depicts your overall self-concept. Hence, putting yourself on a pedestal raises your self-confidence to the next level.

Your relationship with yourself is the most valuable relationship you will ever have in your life. The reason I always talk about self-love and self-relationship is that I have seen immense changes and growth within myself as soon as I befriended myself.

The way one feels about themselves is essential to healthy development. It's about loving yourself well for who you are. In my e-book, It All Starts With You, I have given you a whole picture of the self-love journey and how to start one. If you have some time for yourself, do check it out!

Many of us simply don't allow ourselves to accept and love ourselves, so how can we expect to be in a healthy and loving relationship with ourselves or others?

Well, to curate a self-sufficient connection with who you truly are, you must first start with self-love. It starts with finding beauty within yourself and accepting yourself for who you are.

What is self-acceptance?

When you do not change yourself for anyone else, be it peer pressure, your spouse, or, anyone else, that is called self-acceptance. 

The feeling of not liking your height, weight, body, and reality does not allow you to make a good connection with yourself. Many of us have been conditioned to believe that we must follow someone else's rules or fit into a specific box in order to find the right job, partner, or whatever it is that we seek. But remember that we are all unique and must all accept and fully embrace our individuality.

You must understand that nobody will like you or respect you if you do not like or love yourself. 

How can you have a good relationship with yourself?

Do you feel people unnecessarily make you angry or hurt you? Do you think you get triggered easily?

When you are faced with a situation where people target you, what do you do then? Do you immediately lash out at them? Do you sit in a corner and vent or do you run away? 

Well, whatever may be the case for you. In this blog post, you will find multiple ways to deal with your triggers and how to manage your responses after you get triggered by a specific thing or person.

The need to understand the emotional fog

Distracting/helpful coping behaviors to help you with unwanted situations

1. Exercising- Exercise releases endorphins, a natural pain reliever and antidepressant that improves mood and contributes to overall well-being, which lowers cortisol levels (the stress hormone). Any type of physical activity has been shown to have a positive impact on blood pressure, weight, heart disease, type 2 diabetes, insomnia, depression, anxiety, bone density, muscle strength, immune system, and joint mobility.

2. Hobbies and interests- A hobby or a particular interest can also be a source of distraction. Choose an activity right away if there is something you have always wanted to do or do more of. Any positive activity that can help you focus your attention on something creative or productive should be further encouraged. Housework, journaling, meditation, sewing, shopping, going out, reading, and playing are a few examples.

3. Volunteering- When you get flooded with negative experiences and you feel this rage to tackle the situation asap, that is where a distracting activity helps. There is no better way to feel good other than to help someone in need. Because at this moment, your focus is only on helping the other person without thinking about your own problem. Try offering soup to the homeless or taking the dog of your elderly neighbor on a walk. 

4. To-do list- Another excellent way to distract yourself from stress is to divert your attention to a to-do list. Your list could include household chores, organizational tasks, or personal projects. Some activities to keep yourself busy for a while can be ironing clothes, cleaning out the car, moving old clothes out from a closet, painting your home, washing windows, or sorting the mail. Do anything as per your convenience.

5. Self-care- I personally love this one. I am sure you guys would too like to do something for yourself. Engaging in a relaxing and soothing activity to pamper yourself is another way of showing love towards yourself. Pick out any self-care activity that you know will brighten up your day and make your muscles relax and get indulged into it. But please keep in mind that you should not become addicted to it. You simply cannot afford to spend your money on a manicure and pedicure every day. Try it yourself or do something else like watching the sun, listening to a guided meditation, taking a bath, etc.

Conclusion

Hence, these were some of the options that could help you combat negative thoughts and feelings. When you follow these steps, dealing with your emotional pain and triggers becomes simple.

Remember to Respond before you React!

In my e-book, It All Starts With You, I have listed multiple strategies to practice self-love that will boost your morale and improve your mental well-being.

Do you know our brains give more weight to negative responses than positive ones?

For instance, when you ask someone to not do something, or not go there, their mind will urge them to do the same. This is because the word "not" comes in the category of negative words.

Generally, we all get contemplated by seeing or hearing the negative news that goes on and on around us which sometimes takes a toll on our mental health. 

Some days we feel sad without even knowing the exact reason and, then we wonder why we are feeling this way. We even compare, criticize or complain about that situation but do not go back to understand the reason behind this.

source: think like a monk book ( by jay shetty)

Hence, to immediately improve your mood and be happy, you must first take responsibility. 

When you audit yourself for a day or a week, you can find out a lot about yourself.

Here, in this blog post, I will tell you a simple technique that the famous author, coach, and a former monk, Jay Shetty mentioned in his book: Think Like A Monk.

In his book, Jay Shetty discussed a simple yet effective technique that not only helps us to manage our emotions but also let us find the source of those disturbing thoughts that prevent us from being happy.

SPOT, STOP, SWAP TECHNIQUE

This is the technique that Jay Shetty talks about in most of his videos and as well as his book.  It is as follows:

Spot:

To spot means to become aware of the thing that is disturbing you. If you are feeling uneasy, it is important to spot your daily or weekly actions.  Try writing down the negative remarks you have made over the course of a week. See what you are uttering most of the time. Is it complaining or appreciation?

Stop:

When you understand what is causing you negativity, you can easily address it. Silence your negativity to make room for thoughts and actions that add to your life rather than detract from it. Begin with your breath. Take a few deep breaths and try to figure out your past actions. Which thing did you see last that was implanted in your subconscious mind? Or with whom did you talk last time? What conversations have you both had? Stop and figure it out.

Swap:

Now is the time to amend your heart, body, and mind. Once you have learned to spot and stop the negativity surrounding you, it's time to swap it with the opposite. Now, I know it is not possible to shut your eyes off the media and the incidents that happen on a daily basis. So, instead of mindlessly complaining and criticizing and disrupting your peace of mind, simply write down your feelings and emotions in a journal.

In this way, we can easily become mindful of how we speak, think, and act. Another way to swap your negative emotions is to think of the opposite of what is happening. If you do not like your current reality, change it in your mind and feel grateful as if it's already happened

How do we stay peaceful most of the time?

There is so much negativity in the environment, political atmosphere, and social media, but most importantly, it is in our hearts. Until we clean the toxicity and negativity inside our own hearts, we cannot expect the environment to change.

Work on cleaning your own heart.........

My new e-book It All Starts With You talks about loving oneself and being present in the current reality. 

What do you think about it? Do let me know!

With the daily turmoil we face, whether it is at work or in our family, it becomes hard to live a fulfilling and peaceful life.

Our hearts desire to have someone who constantly motivates us and boosts our self-esteem. While it's wonderful to have someone in your life who lifts your spirits, you must also recognize that you cannot rely on them every time you feel down.

Because everyone is fighting their own internal issues, it's unlikely that you'll have the support of others every time you're stuck in a situation or facing a life problem.

Some days, all you need is YOU to get through the day or the problem that you are currently facing. 

Hence, we must constantly remind ourselves that we can get through anything if we believe in ourselves. This is why I decided to share with you all 10 positive reminders that will help you get through any day, no matter how difficult it is.

So before you give your hands up, remember to read this blog post and take every message that resonates with you.

1. It's okay if all you did today was breathe- Sometimes we beat ourselves up if we have so much on our to-do list because we don't feel like doing anything. I want to tell you that it is completely fine if all you did today was breathe.  Just relax, take baby steps and you will surely feel better.

2. You are loved- All we need is one person to show us that they love us. Isn't it? And when we don't get that one person, we feel sad and heartbroken. But what if I tell you that you are loved by so many people, and especially by your body that works 24 hours a day to keep you going through. You just need to be with those people who genuinely love and care for you and you will feel how special you are.

3. Things are always working for you- Even if it doesn't seem like it, trust that you are being protected by your guardian angels, who love and care for you a lot. Whatever is happening is happening for your highest good. So trust the process.

4.  Happiness comes from within- You may think that if a certain thing happens or you get your loved ones back in your life, you will be happy. Of course, these things and people will add to your happiness but real happiness lives inside you. Just accept yourself as you are and you will feel immense happiness on the inside.

5. Everyday is a new beginning- The ending of something does not mean the end of life. Every day is a new beginning. It does not matter what you were yesterday. All that matters is what you are now. Remember that nothing, including negativity, lasts forever. They are doomed to disintegrate over time.

6. You are the one and only one- If you have the habit of keeping others on a pedestal, stop doing that because you are the most important person in your life. When you make others a top priority over you, that's where you lose yourself. Nothing and nobody is and should be above you.

7. What you give comes back to you- You need to instill in your mind that everything happens under the law of karma. This states that whatever you give, you will get. If you give jealousy, hatred, and negativity to others, you will get the same. The same applies to positive thoughts and feelings.  So think before you do harm to someone.

8.  A grateful heart is a magnet for miracles- Choosing gratitude brings contentment, joy, generosity, peace, forgiveness, and compassion, among other benefits. When you choose to reflect and find reasons to be grateful, you have less time to worry, grumble, live in fear, be bitter, and frustrated. So what are you grateful for now?

10. It is better to be alone than in bad company- Remind yourself that you do not have to indulge in a bad and toxic company just to avoid loneliness. Always seek the company of a wise, loving, and caring friend; if you don't find one, then be your own best friend. 

Do you also feel surrounded by voices in your head? Have you ever tried to listen to what those voices want to convey to you? 

Do you get encouraged or upset after listening to them?

Although I am not a professional therapist who can finish off your overthinking or negative thought patterns, I am a keen observer of my thoughts, and I constantly pay close attention to them.

If I go back six months, I will find a different version of myself. I used to trust everything my head said and that my mind was in charge of me.

But now, I am the one who controls my mind. After all, I am the operant power!

I know how it feels when your mind is constantly uttering useless and wasted thoughts that do not have any value in your life. Negative thoughts drain and soak up our energy, and we feel tired without even doing any physical work. 

Before we realize or become mindful of our thought patterns, the negative thinking has already manifested in our reality and we continue to live the same experience again and again.

What causes negative thoughts to make a home inside our heads?

We don't even realize how and when one small thought turns into a toxic life experience. 

These thoughts can appear out of nowhere and settle in our minds. These negative thought patterns can cause us various mental and physical health problems, such as social anxiety, depression, stress, and low self-esteem.

But always remember that you are not your thoughts. No matter how long you have been in the tunnel, there is always a ray of hope. 

Therefore, I am going to share some easy and simple ways through which you can stop these negative thoughts to cause distress in your daily life.

5 easy ways to stop letting your thoughts hamper your daily life:

When we start becoming more aware, more present, and more mindful just like I mentioned in my ebook (in the spiritual self-love section), we can easily get rid of these patterns.

Here are some easy ways that can help us reduce our negative thinking:

1. Write it out- One thing that really helped me come out of my negative thought patterns was that I used to write down the negative beliefs and assumptions I had about myself or anything related to what used to bother me. Then I used to burn that piece of paper. It gave me a sense of peace. Some of you may not be able to do so, so I recommend that you begin by jotting down whatever your mind is thinking and then read it consciously. This will provide you with clarity regarding your thoughts, as well as make you aware of your triggers, which you need to heal.

2. Be compassionate- We often beat ourselves up because of what we think. Instead of being polite and empathetic toward our mind and heart, we start being rude toward ourselves. But we forget that it is not someone else talking to us negatively, but our own inner child who wants to feel loved and seen. Hence, it is important to be compassionate towards yourself. To accomplish this, you must begin speaking positively to yourself and conversing with yourself as you would with your best friend. This way, you can quickly identify what is bothering you and what needs to be healed.

3. Take responsibility- This is the most important step to overcoming your negative beliefs. Instead of acknowledging how we feel, we let our thoughts control our day and our life. Before we even think of jumping out of that black hole, our negative thought patterns have already consumed most of the areas of our lives, and then we wonder why nobody wants to be with us. It is essential for us that we do not let negative thoughts hamper our beautiful life. Hence, the next time you feel something is wrong or you are not feeling good, take immediate action. Shift your focus to something else. No matter how difficult it feels for you to do so, do it anyway! Because you are the creator of your own reality. 

4. Switch to grateful mode- Another way to focus yourself on something creative and productive is by feeling your blessings. We already have an abundance of resources but our negative thoughts do not let them see and feel and force us to focus on things that we don't have. When you feel low or upset, it's good to have a gratitude list where you can deeply feel grateful for even the smallest things that make a huge impact on your life. A good example is the eyes through which you are reading this post.

5. Pause & reflect- We often don't realize how our negative thoughts are taking us into turmoil. These negative thoughts can easily affect our mood and our lives. So, it's very important to be in alignment with yourself. The moment you catch yourself feeling low or sad, pause and think, what are you thinking? Ask yourself if these thoughts are that important? Practice mindfulness for five minutes to overcome these negative thought patterns.

Conclusion

You are NOT what others say or your thoughts say. Your thoughts do not have power. It's you who categorize them as positive or negative and give them power.

Let go of every negative thought that lowers your self-esteem and fill your mind with good, fulfilling, and positive thoughts. Your mind is the most common place where you visit. Make sure, it is the best place for you.

With these simple steps, you will gradually learn to be more mindful and won't let any negative thoughts disturb your peace. You can also check my new e-book "It All Starts With You" which is a self-help guide that will take you on a new journey of self-love.

So how do you deal with disturbing thoughts? Tell us in the comment section below.

Moving on is the toughest decision we ever make in our lives. All the flashbacks, memories, late-night calls, and cute conversations hit us hard in the faces and keep replaying in our heads.

But endless fights, disrespectful and mean comments, physical or mental abuse, and feeling miserable, lonely, and unhappy are the TOP SIGNS you must let go of someone you love.

I know how hard it is to suddenly stop talking to someone who you thought was your best friend for life. 

In this post, I will give you some effective steps to follow that will improve your healing journey and help to soothe your wounds. 

Before starting, let me tell you, I too have been through this phase in my life, and it wasn't easy at all. I used to cry almost every day. My chest felt heavy, and my heart was in pain throughout that time. But I followed some steps, took one day at a time, and gradually learned to be emotionally independent.

Related: It All Starts With You- Your guide to self-love

Easy Steps That Will Help You Let Go Of Someone You Love And Fall In Love With Yourself

 If you have read my ebook "It All Starts With You", you already know what topic I am going to write about here.

In that e-book, I have already shared the importance of self-care and why putting yourself over others is not selfish.

I don't know what inspired me, but in this blog post, I again want to talk about the same. Perhaps because self-care is still undervalued today.

Part of the cultural society, especially when it comes to women are believed to be a superwoman. They are considered to work and do stuff for others and never get tired. In fact, men too are thought to be emotionless and robust because they are never seen expressing their concerns like women and being vulnerable.

Therefore, self-care and putting yourself before others are essential for everyone irrespective of gender. 

The real issue arises when we consider elevating ourselves above others. When we love our family, spouse, friends, and children, we tend to consider their needs above ours and how we can meet them.

Being considerate and compassionate toward others is vital but you must first put your own oxygen mask on before assisting others.

Why putting yourself first is necessary?

The top reasons that confirm putting yourself first are not bad

1. You can't serve others- No matter how much you do for others you will always end up being dissatisfied if you don't know how to put yourself first. If you want to be selfless and giving, you must start with yourself. When your own needs are met, you can give genuinely and without expectation to others.

2. Key to happiness- When you are satisfied with your life, you become more peaceful and content. When you put your needs first, your best self emerges. You have more to give to others when you support yourself. In addition to feeling good, it also makes you feel your best around your loved ones.

4. You develop more self-esteem- Self-love and self-care help to integrate self-esteem and confidence within you. The way you choose yourself and talk to yourself depicts your overall self-concept. Hence, putting yourself on a pedestal raises your self-confidence to the next level.

Your relationship with yourself is the most valuable relationship you will ever have in your life. The reason I always talk about self-love and self-relationship is that I have seen immense changes and growth within myself as soon as I befriended myself.

The way one feels about themselves is essential to healthy development. It's about loving yourself well for who you are. In my e-book, It All Starts With You, I have given you a whole picture of the self-love journey and how to start one. If you have some time for yourself, do check it out!

Many of us simply don't allow ourselves to accept and love ourselves, so how can we expect to be in a healthy and loving relationship with ourselves or others?

Well, to curate a self-sufficient connection with who you truly are, you must first start with self-love. It starts with finding beauty within yourself and accepting yourself for who you are.

What is self-acceptance?

When you do not change yourself for anyone else, be it peer pressure, your spouse, or, anyone else, that is called self-acceptance. 

The feeling of not liking your height, weight, body, and reality does not allow you to make a good connection with yourself. Many of us have been conditioned to believe that we must follow someone else's rules or fit into a specific box in order to find the right job, partner, or whatever it is that we seek. But remember that we are all unique and must all accept and fully embrace our individuality.

You must understand that nobody will like you or respect you if you do not like or love yourself. 

How can you have a good relationship with yourself?

Do you feel people unnecessarily make you angry or hurt you? Do you think you get triggered easily?

When you are faced with a situation where people target you, what do you do then? Do you immediately lash out at them? Do you sit in a corner and vent or do you run away? 

Well, whatever may be the case for you. In this blog post, you will find multiple ways to deal with your triggers and how to manage your responses after you get triggered by a specific thing or person.

The need to understand the emotional fog

Distracting/helpful coping behaviors to help you with unwanted situations

1. Exercising- Exercise releases endorphins, a natural pain reliever and antidepressant that improves mood and contributes to overall well-being, which lowers cortisol levels (the stress hormone). Any type of physical activity has been shown to have a positive impact on blood pressure, weight, heart disease, type 2 diabetes, insomnia, depression, anxiety, bone density, muscle strength, immune system, and joint mobility.

2. Hobbies and interests- A hobby or a particular interest can also be a source of distraction. Choose an activity right away if there is something you have always wanted to do or do more of. Any positive activity that can help you focus your attention on something creative or productive should be further encouraged. Housework, journaling, meditation, sewing, shopping, going out, reading, and playing are a few examples.

3. Volunteering- When you get flooded with negative experiences and you feel this rage to tackle the situation asap, that is where a distracting activity helps. There is no better way to feel good other than to help someone in need. Because at this moment, your focus is only on helping the other person without thinking about your own problem. Try offering soup to the homeless or taking the dog of your elderly neighbor on a walk. 

4. To-do list- Another excellent way to distract yourself from stress is to divert your attention to a to-do list. Your list could include household chores, organizational tasks, or personal projects. Some activities to keep yourself busy for a while can be ironing clothes, cleaning out the car, moving old clothes out from a closet, painting your home, washing windows, or sorting the mail. Do anything as per your convenience.

5. Self-care- I personally love this one. I am sure you guys would too like to do something for yourself. Engaging in a relaxing and soothing activity to pamper yourself is another way of showing love towards yourself. Pick out any self-care activity that you know will brighten up your day and make your muscles relax and get indulged into it. But please keep in mind that you should not become addicted to it. You simply cannot afford to spend your money on a manicure and pedicure every day. Try it yourself or do something else like watching the sun, listening to a guided meditation, taking a bath, etc.

Conclusion

Hence, these were some of the options that could help you combat negative thoughts and feelings. When you follow these steps, dealing with your emotional pain and triggers becomes simple.

Remember to Respond before you React!

In my e-book, It All Starts With You, I have listed multiple strategies to practice self-love that will boost your morale and improve your mental well-being.

Do you know our brains give more weight to negative responses than positive ones?

For instance, when you ask someone to not do something, or not go there, their mind will urge them to do the same. This is because the word "not" comes in the category of negative words.

Generally, we all get contemplated by seeing or hearing the negative news that goes on and on around us which sometimes takes a toll on our mental health. 

Some days we feel sad without even knowing the exact reason and, then we wonder why we are feeling this way. We even compare, criticize or complain about that situation but do not go back to understand the reason behind this.

source: think like a monk book ( by jay shetty)

Hence, to immediately improve your mood and be happy, you must first take responsibility. 

When you audit yourself for a day or a week, you can find out a lot about yourself.

Here, in this blog post, I will tell you a simple technique that the famous author, coach, and a former monk, Jay Shetty mentioned in his book: Think Like A Monk.

In his book, Jay Shetty discussed a simple yet effective technique that not only helps us to manage our emotions but also let us find the source of those disturbing thoughts that prevent us from being happy.

SPOT, STOP, SWAP TECHNIQUE

This is the technique that Jay Shetty talks about in most of his videos and as well as his book.  It is as follows:

Spot:

To spot means to become aware of the thing that is disturbing you. If you are feeling uneasy, it is important to spot your daily or weekly actions.  Try writing down the negative remarks you have made over the course of a week. See what you are uttering most of the time. Is it complaining or appreciation?

Stop:

When you understand what is causing you negativity, you can easily address it. Silence your negativity to make room for thoughts and actions that add to your life rather than detract from it. Begin with your breath. Take a few deep breaths and try to figure out your past actions. Which thing did you see last that was implanted in your subconscious mind? Or with whom did you talk last time? What conversations have you both had? Stop and figure it out.

Swap:

Now is the time to amend your heart, body, and mind. Once you have learned to spot and stop the negativity surrounding you, it's time to swap it with the opposite. Now, I know it is not possible to shut your eyes off the media and the incidents that happen on a daily basis. So, instead of mindlessly complaining and criticizing and disrupting your peace of mind, simply write down your feelings and emotions in a journal.

In this way, we can easily become mindful of how we speak, think, and act. Another way to swap your negative emotions is to think of the opposite of what is happening. If you do not like your current reality, change it in your mind and feel grateful as if it's already happened

How do we stay peaceful most of the time?

There is so much negativity in the environment, political atmosphere, and social media, but most importantly, it is in our hearts. Until we clean the toxicity and negativity inside our own hearts, we cannot expect the environment to change.

Work on cleaning your own heart.........

My new e-book It All Starts With You talks about loving oneself and being present in the current reality. 

What do you think about it? Do let me know!

With the daily turmoil we face, whether it is at work or in our family, it becomes hard to live a fulfilling and peaceful life.

Our hearts desire to have someone who constantly motivates us and boosts our self-esteem. While it's wonderful to have someone in your life who lifts your spirits, you must also recognize that you cannot rely on them every time you feel down.

Because everyone is fighting their own internal issues, it's unlikely that you'll have the support of others every time you're stuck in a situation or facing a life problem.

Some days, all you need is YOU to get through the day or the problem that you are currently facing. 

Hence, we must constantly remind ourselves that we can get through anything if we believe in ourselves. This is why I decided to share with you all 10 positive reminders that will help you get through any day, no matter how difficult it is.

So before you give your hands up, remember to read this blog post and take every message that resonates with you.

1. It's okay if all you did today was breathe- Sometimes we beat ourselves up if we have so much on our to-do list because we don't feel like doing anything. I want to tell you that it is completely fine if all you did today was breathe.  Just relax, take baby steps and you will surely feel better.

2. You are loved- All we need is one person to show us that they love us. Isn't it? And when we don't get that one person, we feel sad and heartbroken. But what if I tell you that you are loved by so many people, and especially by your body that works 24 hours a day to keep you going through. You just need to be with those people who genuinely love and care for you and you will feel how special you are.

3. Things are always working for you- Even if it doesn't seem like it, trust that you are being protected by your guardian angels, who love and care for you a lot. Whatever is happening is happening for your highest good. So trust the process.

4.  Happiness comes from within- You may think that if a certain thing happens or you get your loved ones back in your life, you will be happy. Of course, these things and people will add to your happiness but real happiness lives inside you. Just accept yourself as you are and you will feel immense happiness on the inside.

5. Everyday is a new beginning- The ending of something does not mean the end of life. Every day is a new beginning. It does not matter what you were yesterday. All that matters is what you are now. Remember that nothing, including negativity, lasts forever. They are doomed to disintegrate over time.

6. You are the one and only one- If you have the habit of keeping others on a pedestal, stop doing that because you are the most important person in your life. When you make others a top priority over you, that's where you lose yourself. Nothing and nobody is and should be above you.

7. What you give comes back to you- You need to instill in your mind that everything happens under the law of karma. This states that whatever you give, you will get. If you give jealousy, hatred, and negativity to others, you will get the same. The same applies to positive thoughts and feelings.  So think before you do harm to someone.

8.  A grateful heart is a magnet for miracles- Choosing gratitude brings contentment, joy, generosity, peace, forgiveness, and compassion, among other benefits. When you choose to reflect and find reasons to be grateful, you have less time to worry, grumble, live in fear, be bitter, and frustrated. So what are you grateful for now?

10. It is better to be alone than in bad company- Remind yourself that you do not have to indulge in a bad and toxic company just to avoid loneliness. Always seek the company of a wise, loving, and caring friend; if you don't find one, then be your own best friend. 

Do you also feel surrounded by voices in your head? Have you ever tried to listen to what those voices want to convey to you? 

Do you get encouraged or upset after listening to them?

Although I am not a professional therapist who can finish off your overthinking or negative thought patterns, I am a keen observer of my thoughts, and I constantly pay close attention to them.

If I go back six months, I will find a different version of myself. I used to trust everything my head said and that my mind was in charge of me.

But now, I am the one who controls my mind. After all, I am the operant power!

I know how it feels when your mind is constantly uttering useless and wasted thoughts that do not have any value in your life. Negative thoughts drain and soak up our energy, and we feel tired without even doing any physical work. 

Before we realize or become mindful of our thought patterns, the negative thinking has already manifested in our reality and we continue to live the same experience again and again.

What causes negative thoughts to make a home inside our heads?

We don't even realize how and when one small thought turns into a toxic life experience. 

These thoughts can appear out of nowhere and settle in our minds. These negative thought patterns can cause us various mental and physical health problems, such as social anxiety, depression, stress, and low self-esteem.

But always remember that you are not your thoughts. No matter how long you have been in the tunnel, there is always a ray of hope. 

Therefore, I am going to share some easy and simple ways through which you can stop these negative thoughts to cause distress in your daily life.

5 easy ways to stop letting your thoughts hamper your daily life:

When we start becoming more aware, more present, and more mindful just like I mentioned in my ebook (in the spiritual self-love section), we can easily get rid of these patterns.

Here are some easy ways that can help us reduce our negative thinking:

1. Write it out- One thing that really helped me come out of my negative thought patterns was that I used to write down the negative beliefs and assumptions I had about myself or anything related to what used to bother me. Then I used to burn that piece of paper. It gave me a sense of peace. Some of you may not be able to do so, so I recommend that you begin by jotting down whatever your mind is thinking and then read it consciously. This will provide you with clarity regarding your thoughts, as well as make you aware of your triggers, which you need to heal.

2. Be compassionate- We often beat ourselves up because of what we think. Instead of being polite and empathetic toward our mind and heart, we start being rude toward ourselves. But we forget that it is not someone else talking to us negatively, but our own inner child who wants to feel loved and seen. Hence, it is important to be compassionate towards yourself. To accomplish this, you must begin speaking positively to yourself and conversing with yourself as you would with your best friend. This way, you can quickly identify what is bothering you and what needs to be healed.

3. Take responsibility- This is the most important step to overcoming your negative beliefs. Instead of acknowledging how we feel, we let our thoughts control our day and our life. Before we even think of jumping out of that black hole, our negative thought patterns have already consumed most of the areas of our lives, and then we wonder why nobody wants to be with us. It is essential for us that we do not let negative thoughts hamper our beautiful life. Hence, the next time you feel something is wrong or you are not feeling good, take immediate action. Shift your focus to something else. No matter how difficult it feels for you to do so, do it anyway! Because you are the creator of your own reality. 

4. Switch to grateful mode- Another way to focus yourself on something creative and productive is by feeling your blessings. We already have an abundance of resources but our negative thoughts do not let them see and feel and force us to focus on things that we don't have. When you feel low or upset, it's good to have a gratitude list where you can deeply feel grateful for even the smallest things that make a huge impact on your life. A good example is the eyes through which you are reading this post.

5. Pause & reflect- We often don't realize how our negative thoughts are taking us into turmoil. These negative thoughts can easily affect our mood and our lives. So, it's very important to be in alignment with yourself. The moment you catch yourself feeling low or sad, pause and think, what are you thinking? Ask yourself if these thoughts are that important? Practice mindfulness for five minutes to overcome these negative thought patterns.

Conclusion

You are NOT what others say or your thoughts say. Your thoughts do not have power. It's you who categorize them as positive or negative and give them power.

Let go of every negative thought that lowers your self-esteem and fill your mind with good, fulfilling, and positive thoughts. Your mind is the most common place where you visit. Make sure, it is the best place for you.

With these simple steps, you will gradually learn to be more mindful and won't let any negative thoughts disturb your peace. You can also check my new e-book "It All Starts With You" which is a self-help guide that will take you on a new journey of self-love.

So how do you deal with disturbing thoughts? Tell us in the comment section below.

Moving on is the toughest decision we ever make in our lives. All the flashbacks, memories, late-night calls, and cute conversations hit us hard in the faces and keep replaying in our heads.

But endless fights, disrespectful and mean comments, physical or mental abuse, and feeling miserable, lonely, and unhappy are the TOP SIGNS you must let go of someone you love.

I know how hard it is to suddenly stop talking to someone who you thought was your best friend for life. 

In this post, I will give you some effective steps to follow that will improve your healing journey and help to soothe your wounds. 

Before starting, let me tell you, I too have been through this phase in my life, and it wasn't easy at all. I used to cry almost every day. My chest felt heavy, and my heart was in pain throughout that time. But I followed some steps, took one day at a time, and gradually learned to be emotionally independent.

Related: It All Starts With You- Your guide to self-love

Easy Steps That Will Help You Let Go Of Someone You Love And Fall In Love With Yourself

 If you have read my ebook "It All Starts With You", you already know what topic I am going to write about here.

In that e-book, I have already shared the importance of self-care and why putting yourself over others is not selfish.

I don't know what inspired me, but in this blog post, I again want to talk about the same. Perhaps because self-care is still undervalued today.

Part of the cultural society, especially when it comes to women are believed to be a superwoman. They are considered to work and do stuff for others and never get tired. In fact, men too are thought to be emotionless and robust because they are never seen expressing their concerns like women and being vulnerable.

Therefore, self-care and putting yourself before others are essential for everyone irrespective of gender. 

The real issue arises when we consider elevating ourselves above others. When we love our family, spouse, friends, and children, we tend to consider their needs above ours and how we can meet them.

Being considerate and compassionate toward others is vital but you must first put your own oxygen mask on before assisting others.

Why putting yourself first is necessary?

The top reasons that confirm putting yourself first are not bad

1. You can't serve others- No matter how much you do for others you will always end up being dissatisfied if you don't know how to put yourself first. If you want to be selfless and giving, you must start with yourself. When your own needs are met, you can give genuinely and without expectation to others.

2. Key to happiness- When you are satisfied with your life, you become more peaceful and content. When you put your needs first, your best self emerges. You have more to give to others when you support yourself. In addition to feeling good, it also makes you feel your best around your loved ones.

4. You develop more self-esteem- Self-love and self-care help to integrate self-esteem and confidence within you. The way you choose yourself and talk to yourself depicts your overall self-concept. Hence, putting yourself on a pedestal raises your self-confidence to the next level.

Your relationship with yourself is the most valuable relationship you will ever have in your life. The reason I always talk about self-love and self-relationship is that I have seen immense changes and growth within myself as soon as I befriended myself.

The way one feels about themselves is essential to healthy development. It's about loving yourself well for who you are. In my e-book, It All Starts With You, I have given you a whole picture of the self-love journey and how to start one. If you have some time for yourself, do check it out!

Many of us simply don't allow ourselves to accept and love ourselves, so how can we expect to be in a healthy and loving relationship with ourselves or others?

Well, to curate a self-sufficient connection with who you truly are, you must first start with self-love. It starts with finding beauty within yourself and accepting yourself for who you are.

What is self-acceptance?

When you do not change yourself for anyone else, be it peer pressure, your spouse, or, anyone else, that is called self-acceptance. 

The feeling of not liking your height, weight, body, and reality does not allow you to make a good connection with yourself. Many of us have been conditioned to believe that we must follow someone else's rules or fit into a specific box in order to find the right job, partner, or whatever it is that we seek. But remember that we are all unique and must all accept and fully embrace our individuality.

You must understand that nobody will like you or respect you if you do not like or love yourself. 

How can you have a good relationship with yourself?

Do you feel people unnecessarily make you angry or hurt you? Do you think you get triggered easily?

When you are faced with a situation where people target you, what do you do then? Do you immediately lash out at them? Do you sit in a corner and vent or do you run away? 

Well, whatever may be the case for you. In this blog post, you will find multiple ways to deal with your triggers and how to manage your responses after you get triggered by a specific thing or person.

The need to understand the emotional fog

Distracting/helpful coping behaviors to help you with unwanted situations

1. Exercising- Exercise releases endorphins, a natural pain reliever and antidepressant that improves mood and contributes to overall well-being, which lowers cortisol levels (the stress hormone). Any type of physical activity has been shown to have a positive impact on blood pressure, weight, heart disease, type 2 diabetes, insomnia, depression, anxiety, bone density, muscle strength, immune system, and joint mobility.

2. Hobbies and interests- A hobby or a particular interest can also be a source of distraction. Choose an activity right away if there is something you have always wanted to do or do more of. Any positive activity that can help you focus your attention on something creative or productive should be further encouraged. Housework, journaling, meditation, sewing, shopping, going out, reading, and playing are a few examples.

3. Volunteering- When you get flooded with negative experiences and you feel this rage to tackle the situation asap, that is where a distracting activity helps. There is no better way to feel good other than to help someone in need. Because at this moment, your focus is only on helping the other person without thinking about your own problem. Try offering soup to the homeless or taking the dog of your elderly neighbor on a walk. 

4. To-do list- Another excellent way to distract yourself from stress is to divert your attention to a to-do list. Your list could include household chores, organizational tasks, or personal projects. Some activities to keep yourself busy for a while can be ironing clothes, cleaning out the car, moving old clothes out from a closet, painting your home, washing windows, or sorting the mail. Do anything as per your convenience.

5. Self-care- I personally love this one. I am sure you guys would too like to do something for yourself. Engaging in a relaxing and soothing activity to pamper yourself is another way of showing love towards yourself. Pick out any self-care activity that you know will brighten up your day and make your muscles relax and get indulged into it. But please keep in mind that you should not become addicted to it. You simply cannot afford to spend your money on a manicure and pedicure every day. Try it yourself or do something else like watching the sun, listening to a guided meditation, taking a bath, etc.

Conclusion

Hence, these were some of the options that could help you combat negative thoughts and feelings. When you follow these steps, dealing with your emotional pain and triggers becomes simple.

Remember to Respond before you React!

In my e-book, It All Starts With You, I have listed multiple strategies to practice self-love that will boost your morale and improve your mental well-being.

Do you know our brains give more weight to negative responses than positive ones?

For instance, when you ask someone to not do something, or not go there, their mind will urge them to do the same. This is because the word "not" comes in the category of negative words.

Generally, we all get contemplated by seeing or hearing the negative news that goes on and on around us which sometimes takes a toll on our mental health. 

Some days we feel sad without even knowing the exact reason and, then we wonder why we are feeling this way. We even compare, criticize or complain about that situation but do not go back to understand the reason behind this.

source: think like a monk book ( by jay shetty)

Hence, to immediately improve your mood and be happy, you must first take responsibility. 

When you audit yourself for a day or a week, you can find out a lot about yourself.

Here, in this blog post, I will tell you a simple technique that the famous author, coach, and a former monk, Jay Shetty mentioned in his book: Think Like A Monk.

In his book, Jay Shetty discussed a simple yet effective technique that not only helps us to manage our emotions but also let us find the source of those disturbing thoughts that prevent us from being happy.

SPOT, STOP, SWAP TECHNIQUE

This is the technique that Jay Shetty talks about in most of his videos and as well as his book.  It is as follows:

Spot:

To spot means to become aware of the thing that is disturbing you. If you are feeling uneasy, it is important to spot your daily or weekly actions.  Try writing down the negative remarks you have made over the course of a week. See what you are uttering most of the time. Is it complaining or appreciation?

Stop:

When you understand what is causing you negativity, you can easily address it. Silence your negativity to make room for thoughts and actions that add to your life rather than detract from it. Begin with your breath. Take a few deep breaths and try to figure out your past actions. Which thing did you see last that was implanted in your subconscious mind? Or with whom did you talk last time? What conversations have you both had? Stop and figure it out.

Swap:

Now is the time to amend your heart, body, and mind. Once you have learned to spot and stop the negativity surrounding you, it's time to swap it with the opposite. Now, I know it is not possible to shut your eyes off the media and the incidents that happen on a daily basis. So, instead of mindlessly complaining and criticizing and disrupting your peace of mind, simply write down your feelings and emotions in a journal.

In this way, we can easily become mindful of how we speak, think, and act. Another way to swap your negative emotions is to think of the opposite of what is happening. If you do not like your current reality, change it in your mind and feel grateful as if it's already happened

How do we stay peaceful most of the time?

There is so much negativity in the environment, political atmosphere, and social media, but most importantly, it is in our hearts. Until we clean the toxicity and negativity inside our own hearts, we cannot expect the environment to change.

Work on cleaning your own heart.........

My new e-book It All Starts With You talks about loving oneself and being present in the current reality. 

What do you think about it? Do let me know!

With the daily turmoil we face, whether it is at work or in our family, it becomes hard to live a fulfilling and peaceful life.

Our hearts desire to have someone who constantly motivates us and boosts our self-esteem. While it's wonderful to have someone in your life who lifts your spirits, you must also recognize that you cannot rely on them every time you feel down.

Because everyone is fighting their own internal issues, it's unlikely that you'll have the support of others every time you're stuck in a situation or facing a life problem.

Some days, all you need is YOU to get through the day or the problem that you are currently facing. 

Hence, we must constantly remind ourselves that we can get through anything if we believe in ourselves. This is why I decided to share with you all 10 positive reminders that will help you get through any day, no matter how difficult it is.

So before you give your hands up, remember to read this blog post and take every message that resonates with you.

1. It's okay if all you did today was breathe- Sometimes we beat ourselves up if we have so much on our to-do list because we don't feel like doing anything. I want to tell you that it is completely fine if all you did today was breathe.  Just relax, take baby steps and you will surely feel better.

2. You are loved- All we need is one person to show us that they love us. Isn't it? And when we don't get that one person, we feel sad and heartbroken. But what if I tell you that you are loved by so many people, and especially by your body that works 24 hours a day to keep you going through. You just need to be with those people who genuinely love and care for you and you will feel how special you are.

3. Things are always working for you- Even if it doesn't seem like it, trust that you are being protected by your guardian angels, who love and care for you a lot. Whatever is happening is happening for your highest good. So trust the process.

4.  Happiness comes from within- You may think that if a certain thing happens or you get your loved ones back in your life, you will be happy. Of course, these things and people will add to your happiness but real happiness lives inside you. Just accept yourself as you are and you will feel immense happiness on the inside.

5. Everyday is a new beginning- The ending of something does not mean the end of life. Every day is a new beginning. It does not matter what you were yesterday. All that matters is what you are now. Remember that nothing, including negativity, lasts forever. They are doomed to disintegrate over time.

6. You are the one and only one- If you have the habit of keeping others on a pedestal, stop doing that because you are the most important person in your life. When you make others a top priority over you, that's where you lose yourself. Nothing and nobody is and should be above you.

7. What you give comes back to you- You need to instill in your mind that everything happens under the law of karma. This states that whatever you give, you will get. If you give jealousy, hatred, and negativity to others, you will get the same. The same applies to positive thoughts and feelings.  So think before you do harm to someone.

8.  A grateful heart is a magnet for miracles- Choosing gratitude brings contentment, joy, generosity, peace, forgiveness, and compassion, among other benefits. When you choose to reflect and find reasons to be grateful, you have less time to worry, grumble, live in fear, be bitter, and frustrated. So what are you grateful for now?

10. It is better to be alone than in bad company- Remind yourself that you do not have to indulge in a bad and toxic company just to avoid loneliness. Always seek the company of a wise, loving, and caring friend; if you don't find one, then be your own best friend. 

Do you also feel surrounded by voices in your head? Have you ever tried to listen to what those voices want to convey to you? 

Do you get encouraged or upset after listening to them?

Although I am not a professional therapist who can finish off your overthinking or negative thought patterns, I am a keen observer of my thoughts, and I constantly pay close attention to them.

If I go back six months, I will find a different version of myself. I used to trust everything my head said and that my mind was in charge of me.

But now, I am the one who controls my mind. After all, I am the operant power!

I know how it feels when your mind is constantly uttering useless and wasted thoughts that do not have any value in your life. Negative thoughts drain and soak up our energy, and we feel tired without even doing any physical work. 

Before we realize or become mindful of our thought patterns, the negative thinking has already manifested in our reality and we continue to live the same experience again and again.

What causes negative thoughts to make a home inside our heads?

We don't even realize how and when one small thought turns into a toxic life experience. 

These thoughts can appear out of nowhere and settle in our minds. These negative thought patterns can cause us various mental and physical health problems, such as social anxiety, depression, stress, and low self-esteem.

But always remember that you are not your thoughts. No matter how long you have been in the tunnel, there is always a ray of hope. 

Therefore, I am going to share some easy and simple ways through which you can stop these negative thoughts to cause distress in your daily life.

5 easy ways to stop letting your thoughts hamper your daily life:

When we start becoming more aware, more present, and more mindful just like I mentioned in my ebook (in the spiritual self-love section), we can easily get rid of these patterns.

Here are some easy ways that can help us reduce our negative thinking:

1. Write it out- One thing that really helped me come out of my negative thought patterns was that I used to write down the negative beliefs and assumptions I had about myself or anything related to what used to bother me. Then I used to burn that piece of paper. It gave me a sense of peace. Some of you may not be able to do so, so I recommend that you begin by jotting down whatever your mind is thinking and then read it consciously. This will provide you with clarity regarding your thoughts, as well as make you aware of your triggers, which you need to heal.

2. Be compassionate- We often beat ourselves up because of what we think. Instead of being polite and empathetic toward our mind and heart, we start being rude toward ourselves. But we forget that it is not someone else talking to us negatively, but our own inner child who wants to feel loved and seen. Hence, it is important to be compassionate towards yourself. To accomplish this, you must begin speaking positively to yourself and conversing with yourself as you would with your best friend. This way, you can quickly identify what is bothering you and what needs to be healed.

3. Take responsibility- This is the most important step to overcoming your negative beliefs. Instead of acknowledging how we feel, we let our thoughts control our day and our life. Before we even think of jumping out of that black hole, our negative thought patterns have already consumed most of the areas of our lives, and then we wonder why nobody wants to be with us. It is essential for us that we do not let negative thoughts hamper our beautiful life. Hence, the next time you feel something is wrong or you are not feeling good, take immediate action. Shift your focus to something else. No matter how difficult it feels for you to do so, do it anyway! Because you are the creator of your own reality. 

4. Switch to grateful mode- Another way to focus yourself on something creative and productive is by feeling your blessings. We already have an abundance of resources but our negative thoughts do not let them see and feel and force us to focus on things that we don't have. When you feel low or upset, it's good to have a gratitude list where you can deeply feel grateful for even the smallest things that make a huge impact on your life. A good example is the eyes through which you are reading this post.

5. Pause & reflect- We often don't realize how our negative thoughts are taking us into turmoil. These negative thoughts can easily affect our mood and our lives. So, it's very important to be in alignment with yourself. The moment you catch yourself feeling low or sad, pause and think, what are you thinking? Ask yourself if these thoughts are that important? Practice mindfulness for five minutes to overcome these negative thought patterns.

Conclusion

You are NOT what others say or your thoughts say. Your thoughts do not have power. It's you who categorize them as positive or negative and give them power.

Let go of every negative thought that lowers your self-esteem and fill your mind with good, fulfilling, and positive thoughts. Your mind is the most common place where you visit. Make sure, it is the best place for you.

With these simple steps, you will gradually learn to be more mindful and won't let any negative thoughts disturb your peace. You can also check my new e-book "It All Starts With You" which is a self-help guide that will take you on a new journey of self-love.

So how do you deal with disturbing thoughts? Tell us in the comment section below.