Do you feel people unnecessarily make you angry or hurt you? Do you think you get triggered easily?

When you are faced with a situation where people target you, what do you do then? Do you immediately lash out at them? Do you sit in a corner and vent or do you run away? 

Well, whatever may be the case for you. In this blog post, you will find multiple ways to deal with your triggers and how to manage your responses after you get triggered by a specific thing or person.

The need to understand the emotional fog

Distracting/helpful coping behaviors to help you with unwanted situations

1. Exercising- Exercise releases endorphins, a natural pain reliever and antidepressant that improves mood and contributes to overall well-being, which lowers cortisol levels (the stress hormone). Any type of physical activity has been shown to have a positive impact on blood pressure, weight, heart disease, type 2 diabetes, insomnia, depression, anxiety, bone density, muscle strength, immune system, and joint mobility.

2. Hobbies and interests- A hobby or a particular interest can also be a source of distraction. Choose an activity right away if there is something you have always wanted to do or do more of. Any positive activity that can help you focus your attention on something creative or productive should be further encouraged. Housework, journaling, meditation, sewing, shopping, going out, reading, and playing are a few examples.

3. Volunteering- When you get flooded with negative experiences and you feel this rage to tackle the situation asap, that is where a distracting activity helps. There is no better way to feel good other than to help someone in need. Because at this moment, your focus is only on helping the other person without thinking about your own problem. Try offering soup to the homeless or taking the dog of your elderly neighbor on a walk. 

4. To-do list- Another excellent way to distract yourself from stress is to divert your attention to a to-do list. Your list could include household chores, organizational tasks, or personal projects. Some activities to keep yourself busy for a while can be ironing clothes, cleaning out the car, moving old clothes out from a closet, painting your home, washing windows, or sorting the mail. Do anything as per your convenience.

5. Self-care- I personally love this one. I am sure you guys would too like to do something for yourself. Engaging in a relaxing and soothing activity to pamper yourself is another way of showing love towards yourself. Pick out any self-care activity that you know will brighten up your day and make your muscles relax and get indulged into it. But please keep in mind that you should not become addicted to it. You simply cannot afford to spend your money on a manicure and pedicure every day. Try it yourself or do something else like watching the sun, listening to a guided meditation, taking a bath, etc.

Conclusion

Hence, these were some of the options that could help you combat negative thoughts and feelings. When you follow these steps, dealing with your emotional pain and triggers becomes simple.

Remember to Respond before you React!

In my e-book, It All Starts With You, I have listed multiple strategies to practice self-love that will boost your morale and improve your mental well-being.

Do you know our brains give more weight to negative responses than positive ones?

For instance, when you ask someone to not do something, or not go there, their mind will urge them to do the same. This is because the word "not" comes in the category of negative words.

Generally, we all get contemplated by seeing or hearing the negative news that goes on and on around us which sometimes takes a toll on our mental health. 

Some days we feel sad without even knowing the exact reason and, then we wonder why we are feeling this way. We even compare, criticize or complain about that situation but do not go back to understand the reason behind this.

source: think like a monk book ( by jay shetty)

Hence, to immediately improve your mood and be happy, you must first take responsibility. 

When you audit yourself for a day or a week, you can find out a lot about yourself.

Here, in this blog post, I will tell you a simple technique that the famous author, coach, and a former monk, Jay Shetty mentioned in his book: Think Like A Monk.

In his book, Jay Shetty discussed a simple yet effective technique that not only helps us to manage our emotions but also let us find the source of those disturbing thoughts that prevent us from being happy.

SPOT, STOP, SWAP TECHNIQUE

This is the technique that Jay Shetty talks about in most of his videos and as well as his book.  It is as follows:

Spot:

To spot means to become aware of the thing that is disturbing you. If you are feeling uneasy, it is important to spot your daily or weekly actions.  Try writing down the negative remarks you have made over the course of a week. See what you are uttering most of the time. Is it complaining or appreciation?

Stop:

When you understand what is causing you negativity, you can easily address it. Silence your negativity to make room for thoughts and actions that add to your life rather than detract from it. Begin with your breath. Take a few deep breaths and try to figure out your past actions. Which thing did you see last that was implanted in your subconscious mind? Or with whom did you talk last time? What conversations have you both had? Stop and figure it out.

Swap:

Now is the time to amend your heart, body, and mind. Once you have learned to spot and stop the negativity surrounding you, it's time to swap it with the opposite. Now, I know it is not possible to shut your eyes off the media and the incidents that happen on a daily basis. So, instead of mindlessly complaining and criticizing and disrupting your peace of mind, simply write down your feelings and emotions in a journal.

In this way, we can easily become mindful of how we speak, think, and act. Another way to swap your negative emotions is to think of the opposite of what is happening. If you do not like your current reality, change it in your mind and feel grateful as if it's already happened

How do we stay peaceful most of the time?

There is so much negativity in the environment, political atmosphere, and social media, but most importantly, it is in our hearts. Until we clean the toxicity and negativity inside our own hearts, we cannot expect the environment to change.

Work on cleaning your own heart.........

My new e-book It All Starts With You talks about loving oneself and being present in the current reality. 

What do you think about it? Do let me know!

With the daily turmoil we face, whether it is at work or in our family, it becomes hard to live a fulfilling and peaceful life.

Our hearts desire to have someone who constantly motivates us and boosts our self-esteem. While it's wonderful to have someone in your life who lifts your spirits, you must also recognize that you cannot rely on them every time you feel down.

Because everyone is fighting their own internal issues, it's unlikely that you'll have the support of others every time you're stuck in a situation or facing a life problem.

Some days, all you need is YOU to get through the day or the problem that you are currently facing. 

Hence, we must constantly remind ourselves that we can get through anything if we believe in ourselves. This is why I decided to share with you all 10 positive reminders that will help you get through any day, no matter how difficult it is.

So before you give your hands up, remember to read this blog post and take every message that resonates with you.

1. It's okay if all you did today was breathe- Sometimes we beat ourselves up if we have so much on our to-do list because we don't feel like doing anything. I want to tell you that it is completely fine if all you did today was breathe.  Just relax, take baby steps and you will surely feel better.

2. You are loved- All we need is one person to show us that they love us. Isn't it? And when we don't get that one person, we feel sad and heartbroken. But what if I tell you that you are loved by so many people, and especially by your body that works 24 hours a day to keep you going through. You just need to be with those people who genuinely love and care for you and you will feel how special you are.

3. Things are always working for you- Even if it doesn't seem like it, trust that you are being protected by your guardian angels, who love and care for you a lot. Whatever is happening is happening for your highest good. So trust the process.

4.  Happiness comes from within- You may think that if a certain thing happens or you get your loved ones back in your life, you will be happy. Of course, these things and people will add to your happiness but real happiness lives inside you. Just accept yourself as you are and you will feel immense happiness on the inside.

5. Everyday is a new beginning- The ending of something does not mean the end of life. Every day is a new beginning. It does not matter what you were yesterday. All that matters is what you are now. Remember that nothing, including negativity, lasts forever. They are doomed to disintegrate over time.

6. You are the one and only one- If you have the habit of keeping others on a pedestal, stop doing that because you are the most important person in your life. When you make others a top priority over you, that's where you lose yourself. Nothing and nobody is and should be above you.

7. What you give comes back to you- You need to instill in your mind that everything happens under the law of karma. This states that whatever you give, you will get. If you give jealousy, hatred, and negativity to others, you will get the same. The same applies to positive thoughts and feelings.  So think before you do harm to someone.

8.  A grateful heart is a magnet for miracles- Choosing gratitude brings contentment, joy, generosity, peace, forgiveness, and compassion, among other benefits. When you choose to reflect and find reasons to be grateful, you have less time to worry, grumble, live in fear, be bitter, and frustrated. So what are you grateful for now?

10. It is better to be alone than in bad company- Remind yourself that you do not have to indulge in a bad and toxic company just to avoid loneliness. Always seek the company of a wise, loving, and caring friend; if you don't find one, then be your own best friend. 

Do you also feel surrounded by voices in your head? Have you ever tried to listen to what those voices want to convey to you? 

Do you get encouraged or upset after listening to them?

Although I am not a professional therapist who can finish off your overthinking or negative thought patterns, I am a keen observer of my thoughts, and I constantly pay close attention to them.

If I go back six months, I will find a different version of myself. I used to trust everything my head said and that my mind was in charge of me.

But now, I am the one who controls my mind. After all, I am the operant power!

I know how it feels when your mind is constantly uttering useless and wasted thoughts that do not have any value in your life. Negative thoughts drain and soak up our energy, and we feel tired without even doing any physical work. 

Before we realize or become mindful of our thought patterns, the negative thinking has already manifested in our reality and we continue to live the same experience again and again.

What causes negative thoughts to make a home inside our heads?

We don't even realize how and when one small thought turns into a toxic life experience. 

These thoughts can appear out of nowhere and settle in our minds. These negative thought patterns can cause us various mental and physical health problems, such as social anxiety, depression, stress, and low self-esteem.

But always remember that you are not your thoughts. No matter how long you have been in the tunnel, there is always a ray of hope. 

Therefore, I am going to share some easy and simple ways through which you can stop these negative thoughts to cause distress in your daily life.

5 easy ways to stop letting your thoughts hamper your daily life:

When we start becoming more aware, more present, and more mindful just like I mentioned in my ebook (in the spiritual self-love section), we can easily get rid of these patterns.

Here are some easy ways that can help us reduce our negative thinking:

1. Write it out- One thing that really helped me come out of my negative thought patterns was that I used to write down the negative beliefs and assumptions I had about myself or anything related to what used to bother me. Then I used to burn that piece of paper. It gave me a sense of peace. Some of you may not be able to do so, so I recommend that you begin by jotting down whatever your mind is thinking and then read it consciously. This will provide you with clarity regarding your thoughts, as well as make you aware of your triggers, which you need to heal.

2. Be compassionate- We often beat ourselves up because of what we think. Instead of being polite and empathetic toward our mind and heart, we start being rude toward ourselves. But we forget that it is not someone else talking to us negatively, but our own inner child who wants to feel loved and seen. Hence, it is important to be compassionate towards yourself. To accomplish this, you must begin speaking positively to yourself and conversing with yourself as you would with your best friend. This way, you can quickly identify what is bothering you and what needs to be healed.

3. Take responsibility- This is the most important step to overcoming your negative beliefs. Instead of acknowledging how we feel, we let our thoughts control our day and our life. Before we even think of jumping out of that black hole, our negative thought patterns have already consumed most of the areas of our lives, and then we wonder why nobody wants to be with us. It is essential for us that we do not let negative thoughts hamper our beautiful life. Hence, the next time you feel something is wrong or you are not feeling good, take immediate action. Shift your focus to something else. No matter how difficult it feels for you to do so, do it anyway! Because you are the creator of your own reality. 

4. Switch to grateful mode- Another way to focus yourself on something creative and productive is by feeling your blessings. We already have an abundance of resources but our negative thoughts do not let them see and feel and force us to focus on things that we don't have. When you feel low or upset, it's good to have a gratitude list where you can deeply feel grateful for even the smallest things that make a huge impact on your life. A good example is the eyes through which you are reading this post.

5. Pause & reflect- We often don't realize how our negative thoughts are taking us into turmoil. These negative thoughts can easily affect our mood and our lives. So, it's very important to be in alignment with yourself. The moment you catch yourself feeling low or sad, pause and think, what are you thinking? Ask yourself if these thoughts are that important? Practice mindfulness for five minutes to overcome these negative thought patterns.

Conclusion

You are NOT what others say or your thoughts say. Your thoughts do not have power. It's you who categorize them as positive or negative and give them power.

Let go of every negative thought that lowers your self-esteem and fill your mind with good, fulfilling, and positive thoughts. Your mind is the most common place where you visit. Make sure, it is the best place for you.

With these simple steps, you will gradually learn to be more mindful and won't let any negative thoughts disturb your peace. You can also check my new e-book "It All Starts With You" which is a self-help guide that will take you on a new journey of self-love.

So how do you deal with disturbing thoughts? Tell us in the comment section below.

Are you tired of seeing people get out of your life? 

Do you want that one person in your life who will leave your side, no matter what?

Today, in this blog post, I will introduce you to someone who was always there beside you, but you were so blind that you couldn't see him.

Most of us have the habit of seeing ourselves through the eyes of others. Whatever someone says about us, our subconscious mind starts to dwell upon that thought and create it into our reality.

Because we have so little knowledge of self-love and self-esteem, we fall into the trap of judgment and the expectations of others. But we forget that we can only truly see ourselves through a "MIRROR".

Yes, the mirror is our best friend.

Have you heard of the quote that says: 

The mirror is my best friend. Because when I cry, it never laughs! 

The mirror is not only a tool to see how our body or hair looks but it is also a pathway to our inner self if we take a deep look into our eyes.

We don't even realize that the person or a connection we are chasing or seeking is just beside us, and we do everything on the outside to make things work between us and others.

When we see a mirror, we see a reflection of ourselves. It is up to us whether we want to see it in a good way or a bad way. It is, without a doubt, the most effective weapon for inner transformation, raising self-esteem from low levels of obsessive self-criticism to the constant declaration of eternal truth. Our inner self is the most attractive since it is free of flaws and scars.

If you are searching for that one person who will change your life, look in the mirror!

I want you to stop reading this blog post right now, and go towards the mirror. Get up and take a look in the mirror. Examine your eyes; if you are uncomfortable, turn your gaze to your nose for one minute.

See the person in the mirror and describe its five qualities. The way you will explain it will determine the relationship you have with yourself.

If you see a beautiful, hardworking, and charming person, it indicates that you have a healthy relationship with yourself; on the other hand, if you say the person in the mirror is stupid, unworthy of love, and suffers from imposter syndrome, it indicates that you have an unhealthy relationship with yourself.

If you do not have a good relationship with yourself, you will never be good enough with your other relations. It all begins with our inward reflection. If you do not clean what is inside, nothing will get better on the outside.

Here are 3 reasons to make a mirror your best friend:

1. No one knows you better than yourself- The person you see in the mirror is you. It's time to know that you are worthy of all the great things in life. Start making out time for yourself. Start talking to the person you see in the mirror every day as it will help you to know yourself better.

2. How you see yourself is how others see you- If you have this habit of criticizing yourself every time you look at yourself, this is how others will respond to you. On the other hand, when you love and respect yourself, you will not tolerate anything less from your friends and family; you will have a higher standard for how you expect to be treated.

3. It is a loving and safe space- When you start approving the person you see in the mirror, it creates a safe space around you. You make yourself free from judgments and criticism. You start seeing yourself in a different and loveful way. In other words, your connection with yourself becomes strong and harmonious.

Conclusion

While running behind our goals and chasing outside attention, we often forget to take care of ourselves.

Not only do we get indulged in taking care of others but we also let others decide our worth.

In today's time, it's important to be kind towards yourself too. Kindness makes our lives worth living. Kindness makes our lives peaceful and those around us too.

So imagine when we start being kind towards ourselves. What would it be like?

Why should we be kind towards ourselves?

First of all, congratulations to you!

You took out time for yourself and decided to read this blog post, which will help you attain emotional maturity.

If you think that because you are of a certain age, it means you are an emotionally mature person, then let me tell you that you are wrong.

Emotional maturity has nothing to do with age contrary to physical growth. An emotionally mature person uses his mind and heart perfectly while also taking control over his emotions. It also does not mean that you are a fool because you are immature. Sometimes, we are not able to grasp the learnings from education or our life's mistakes. But once we are aware that we need to improve ourselves, we can gain emotional maturity at any age.

Photo: free-range stock

In simple words, someone who knows how to balance his emotions is an emotionally and mentally strong person. When someone is emotionally mature, not only does he become a better person for himself but his relationships also improve. Since he gets clear and concise, he knows how to deal with the problems of life.

Why is emotional maturity important?

Do you feel people unnecessarily make you angry or hurt you? Do you think you get triggered easily?

When you are faced with a situation where people target you, what do you do then? Do you immediately lash out at them? Do you sit in a corner and vent or do you run away? 

Well, whatever may be the case for you. In this blog post, you will find multiple ways to deal with your triggers and how to manage your responses after you get triggered by a specific thing or person.

The need to understand the emotional fog

Distracting/helpful coping behaviors to help you with unwanted situations

1. Exercising- Exercise releases endorphins, a natural pain reliever and antidepressant that improves mood and contributes to overall well-being, which lowers cortisol levels (the stress hormone). Any type of physical activity has been shown to have a positive impact on blood pressure, weight, heart disease, type 2 diabetes, insomnia, depression, anxiety, bone density, muscle strength, immune system, and joint mobility.

2. Hobbies and interests- A hobby or a particular interest can also be a source of distraction. Choose an activity right away if there is something you have always wanted to do or do more of. Any positive activity that can help you focus your attention on something creative or productive should be further encouraged. Housework, journaling, meditation, sewing, shopping, going out, reading, and playing are a few examples.

3. Volunteering- When you get flooded with negative experiences and you feel this rage to tackle the situation asap, that is where a distracting activity helps. There is no better way to feel good other than to help someone in need. Because at this moment, your focus is only on helping the other person without thinking about your own problem. Try offering soup to the homeless or taking the dog of your elderly neighbor on a walk. 

4. To-do list- Another excellent way to distract yourself from stress is to divert your attention to a to-do list. Your list could include household chores, organizational tasks, or personal projects. Some activities to keep yourself busy for a while can be ironing clothes, cleaning out the car, moving old clothes out from a closet, painting your home, washing windows, or sorting the mail. Do anything as per your convenience.

5. Self-care- I personally love this one. I am sure you guys would too like to do something for yourself. Engaging in a relaxing and soothing activity to pamper yourself is another way of showing love towards yourself. Pick out any self-care activity that you know will brighten up your day and make your muscles relax and get indulged into it. But please keep in mind that you should not become addicted to it. You simply cannot afford to spend your money on a manicure and pedicure every day. Try it yourself or do something else like watching the sun, listening to a guided meditation, taking a bath, etc.

Conclusion

Hence, these were some of the options that could help you combat negative thoughts and feelings. When you follow these steps, dealing with your emotional pain and triggers becomes simple.

Remember to Respond before you React!

In my e-book, It All Starts With You, I have listed multiple strategies to practice self-love that will boost your morale and improve your mental well-being.

Do you know our brains give more weight to negative responses than positive ones?

For instance, when you ask someone to not do something, or not go there, their mind will urge them to do the same. This is because the word "not" comes in the category of negative words.

Generally, we all get contemplated by seeing or hearing the negative news that goes on and on around us which sometimes takes a toll on our mental health. 

Some days we feel sad without even knowing the exact reason and, then we wonder why we are feeling this way. We even compare, criticize or complain about that situation but do not go back to understand the reason behind this.

source: think like a monk book ( by jay shetty)

Hence, to immediately improve your mood and be happy, you must first take responsibility. 

When you audit yourself for a day or a week, you can find out a lot about yourself.

Here, in this blog post, I will tell you a simple technique that the famous author, coach, and a former monk, Jay Shetty mentioned in his book: Think Like A Monk.

In his book, Jay Shetty discussed a simple yet effective technique that not only helps us to manage our emotions but also let us find the source of those disturbing thoughts that prevent us from being happy.

SPOT, STOP, SWAP TECHNIQUE

This is the technique that Jay Shetty talks about in most of his videos and as well as his book.  It is as follows:

Spot:

To spot means to become aware of the thing that is disturbing you. If you are feeling uneasy, it is important to spot your daily or weekly actions.  Try writing down the negative remarks you have made over the course of a week. See what you are uttering most of the time. Is it complaining or appreciation?

Stop:

When you understand what is causing you negativity, you can easily address it. Silence your negativity to make room for thoughts and actions that add to your life rather than detract from it. Begin with your breath. Take a few deep breaths and try to figure out your past actions. Which thing did you see last that was implanted in your subconscious mind? Or with whom did you talk last time? What conversations have you both had? Stop and figure it out.

Swap:

Now is the time to amend your heart, body, and mind. Once you have learned to spot and stop the negativity surrounding you, it's time to swap it with the opposite. Now, I know it is not possible to shut your eyes off the media and the incidents that happen on a daily basis. So, instead of mindlessly complaining and criticizing and disrupting your peace of mind, simply write down your feelings and emotions in a journal.

In this way, we can easily become mindful of how we speak, think, and act. Another way to swap your negative emotions is to think of the opposite of what is happening. If you do not like your current reality, change it in your mind and feel grateful as if it's already happened

How do we stay peaceful most of the time?

There is so much negativity in the environment, political atmosphere, and social media, but most importantly, it is in our hearts. Until we clean the toxicity and negativity inside our own hearts, we cannot expect the environment to change.

Work on cleaning your own heart.........

My new e-book It All Starts With You talks about loving oneself and being present in the current reality. 

What do you think about it? Do let me know!

With the daily turmoil we face, whether it is at work or in our family, it becomes hard to live a fulfilling and peaceful life.

Our hearts desire to have someone who constantly motivates us and boosts our self-esteem. While it's wonderful to have someone in your life who lifts your spirits, you must also recognize that you cannot rely on them every time you feel down.

Because everyone is fighting their own internal issues, it's unlikely that you'll have the support of others every time you're stuck in a situation or facing a life problem.

Some days, all you need is YOU to get through the day or the problem that you are currently facing. 

Hence, we must constantly remind ourselves that we can get through anything if we believe in ourselves. This is why I decided to share with you all 10 positive reminders that will help you get through any day, no matter how difficult it is.

So before you give your hands up, remember to read this blog post and take every message that resonates with you.

1. It's okay if all you did today was breathe- Sometimes we beat ourselves up if we have so much on our to-do list because we don't feel like doing anything. I want to tell you that it is completely fine if all you did today was breathe.  Just relax, take baby steps and you will surely feel better.

2. You are loved- All we need is one person to show us that they love us. Isn't it? And when we don't get that one person, we feel sad and heartbroken. But what if I tell you that you are loved by so many people, and especially by your body that works 24 hours a day to keep you going through. You just need to be with those people who genuinely love and care for you and you will feel how special you are.

3. Things are always working for you- Even if it doesn't seem like it, trust that you are being protected by your guardian angels, who love and care for you a lot. Whatever is happening is happening for your highest good. So trust the process.

4.  Happiness comes from within- You may think that if a certain thing happens or you get your loved ones back in your life, you will be happy. Of course, these things and people will add to your happiness but real happiness lives inside you. Just accept yourself as you are and you will feel immense happiness on the inside.

5. Everyday is a new beginning- The ending of something does not mean the end of life. Every day is a new beginning. It does not matter what you were yesterday. All that matters is what you are now. Remember that nothing, including negativity, lasts forever. They are doomed to disintegrate over time.

6. You are the one and only one- If you have the habit of keeping others on a pedestal, stop doing that because you are the most important person in your life. When you make others a top priority over you, that's where you lose yourself. Nothing and nobody is and should be above you.

7. What you give comes back to you- You need to instill in your mind that everything happens under the law of karma. This states that whatever you give, you will get. If you give jealousy, hatred, and negativity to others, you will get the same. The same applies to positive thoughts and feelings.  So think before you do harm to someone.

8.  A grateful heart is a magnet for miracles- Choosing gratitude brings contentment, joy, generosity, peace, forgiveness, and compassion, among other benefits. When you choose to reflect and find reasons to be grateful, you have less time to worry, grumble, live in fear, be bitter, and frustrated. So what are you grateful for now?

10. It is better to be alone than in bad company- Remind yourself that you do not have to indulge in a bad and toxic company just to avoid loneliness. Always seek the company of a wise, loving, and caring friend; if you don't find one, then be your own best friend. 

Do you also feel surrounded by voices in your head? Have you ever tried to listen to what those voices want to convey to you? 

Do you get encouraged or upset after listening to them?

Although I am not a professional therapist who can finish off your overthinking or negative thought patterns, I am a keen observer of my thoughts, and I constantly pay close attention to them.

If I go back six months, I will find a different version of myself. I used to trust everything my head said and that my mind was in charge of me.

But now, I am the one who controls my mind. After all, I am the operant power!

I know how it feels when your mind is constantly uttering useless and wasted thoughts that do not have any value in your life. Negative thoughts drain and soak up our energy, and we feel tired without even doing any physical work. 

Before we realize or become mindful of our thought patterns, the negative thinking has already manifested in our reality and we continue to live the same experience again and again.

What causes negative thoughts to make a home inside our heads?

We don't even realize how and when one small thought turns into a toxic life experience. 

These thoughts can appear out of nowhere and settle in our minds. These negative thought patterns can cause us various mental and physical health problems, such as social anxiety, depression, stress, and low self-esteem.

But always remember that you are not your thoughts. No matter how long you have been in the tunnel, there is always a ray of hope. 

Therefore, I am going to share some easy and simple ways through which you can stop these negative thoughts to cause distress in your daily life.

5 easy ways to stop letting your thoughts hamper your daily life:

When we start becoming more aware, more present, and more mindful just like I mentioned in my ebook (in the spiritual self-love section), we can easily get rid of these patterns.

Here are some easy ways that can help us reduce our negative thinking:

1. Write it out- One thing that really helped me come out of my negative thought patterns was that I used to write down the negative beliefs and assumptions I had about myself or anything related to what used to bother me. Then I used to burn that piece of paper. It gave me a sense of peace. Some of you may not be able to do so, so I recommend that you begin by jotting down whatever your mind is thinking and then read it consciously. This will provide you with clarity regarding your thoughts, as well as make you aware of your triggers, which you need to heal.

2. Be compassionate- We often beat ourselves up because of what we think. Instead of being polite and empathetic toward our mind and heart, we start being rude toward ourselves. But we forget that it is not someone else talking to us negatively, but our own inner child who wants to feel loved and seen. Hence, it is important to be compassionate towards yourself. To accomplish this, you must begin speaking positively to yourself and conversing with yourself as you would with your best friend. This way, you can quickly identify what is bothering you and what needs to be healed.

3. Take responsibility- This is the most important step to overcoming your negative beliefs. Instead of acknowledging how we feel, we let our thoughts control our day and our life. Before we even think of jumping out of that black hole, our negative thought patterns have already consumed most of the areas of our lives, and then we wonder why nobody wants to be with us. It is essential for us that we do not let negative thoughts hamper our beautiful life. Hence, the next time you feel something is wrong or you are not feeling good, take immediate action. Shift your focus to something else. No matter how difficult it feels for you to do so, do it anyway! Because you are the creator of your own reality. 

4. Switch to grateful mode- Another way to focus yourself on something creative and productive is by feeling your blessings. We already have an abundance of resources but our negative thoughts do not let them see and feel and force us to focus on things that we don't have. When you feel low or upset, it's good to have a gratitude list where you can deeply feel grateful for even the smallest things that make a huge impact on your life. A good example is the eyes through which you are reading this post.

5. Pause & reflect- We often don't realize how our negative thoughts are taking us into turmoil. These negative thoughts can easily affect our mood and our lives. So, it's very important to be in alignment with yourself. The moment you catch yourself feeling low or sad, pause and think, what are you thinking? Ask yourself if these thoughts are that important? Practice mindfulness for five minutes to overcome these negative thought patterns.

Conclusion

You are NOT what others say or your thoughts say. Your thoughts do not have power. It's you who categorize them as positive or negative and give them power.

Let go of every negative thought that lowers your self-esteem and fill your mind with good, fulfilling, and positive thoughts. Your mind is the most common place where you visit. Make sure, it is the best place for you.

With these simple steps, you will gradually learn to be more mindful and won't let any negative thoughts disturb your peace. You can also check my new e-book "It All Starts With You" which is a self-help guide that will take you on a new journey of self-love.

So how do you deal with disturbing thoughts? Tell us in the comment section below.

Are you tired of seeing people get out of your life? 

Do you want that one person in your life who will leave your side, no matter what?

Today, in this blog post, I will introduce you to someone who was always there beside you, but you were so blind that you couldn't see him.

Most of us have the habit of seeing ourselves through the eyes of others. Whatever someone says about us, our subconscious mind starts to dwell upon that thought and create it into our reality.

Because we have so little knowledge of self-love and self-esteem, we fall into the trap of judgment and the expectations of others. But we forget that we can only truly see ourselves through a "MIRROR".

Yes, the mirror is our best friend.

Have you heard of the quote that says: 

The mirror is my best friend. Because when I cry, it never laughs! 

The mirror is not only a tool to see how our body or hair looks but it is also a pathway to our inner self if we take a deep look into our eyes.

We don't even realize that the person or a connection we are chasing or seeking is just beside us, and we do everything on the outside to make things work between us and others.

When we see a mirror, we see a reflection of ourselves. It is up to us whether we want to see it in a good way or a bad way. It is, without a doubt, the most effective weapon for inner transformation, raising self-esteem from low levels of obsessive self-criticism to the constant declaration of eternal truth. Our inner self is the most attractive since it is free of flaws and scars.

If you are searching for that one person who will change your life, look in the mirror!

I want you to stop reading this blog post right now, and go towards the mirror. Get up and take a look in the mirror. Examine your eyes; if you are uncomfortable, turn your gaze to your nose for one minute.

See the person in the mirror and describe its five qualities. The way you will explain it will determine the relationship you have with yourself.

If you see a beautiful, hardworking, and charming person, it indicates that you have a healthy relationship with yourself; on the other hand, if you say the person in the mirror is stupid, unworthy of love, and suffers from imposter syndrome, it indicates that you have an unhealthy relationship with yourself.

If you do not have a good relationship with yourself, you will never be good enough with your other relations. It all begins with our inward reflection. If you do not clean what is inside, nothing will get better on the outside.

Here are 3 reasons to make a mirror your best friend:

1. No one knows you better than yourself- The person you see in the mirror is you. It's time to know that you are worthy of all the great things in life. Start making out time for yourself. Start talking to the person you see in the mirror every day as it will help you to know yourself better.

2. How you see yourself is how others see you- If you have this habit of criticizing yourself every time you look at yourself, this is how others will respond to you. On the other hand, when you love and respect yourself, you will not tolerate anything less from your friends and family; you will have a higher standard for how you expect to be treated.

3. It is a loving and safe space- When you start approving the person you see in the mirror, it creates a safe space around you. You make yourself free from judgments and criticism. You start seeing yourself in a different and loveful way. In other words, your connection with yourself becomes strong and harmonious.

Conclusion

While running behind our goals and chasing outside attention, we often forget to take care of ourselves.

Not only do we get indulged in taking care of others but we also let others decide our worth.

In today's time, it's important to be kind towards yourself too. Kindness makes our lives worth living. Kindness makes our lives peaceful and those around us too.

So imagine when we start being kind towards ourselves. What would it be like?

Why should we be kind towards ourselves?

First of all, congratulations to you!

You took out time for yourself and decided to read this blog post, which will help you attain emotional maturity.

If you think that because you are of a certain age, it means you are an emotionally mature person, then let me tell you that you are wrong.

Emotional maturity has nothing to do with age contrary to physical growth. An emotionally mature person uses his mind and heart perfectly while also taking control over his emotions. It also does not mean that you are a fool because you are immature. Sometimes, we are not able to grasp the learnings from education or our life's mistakes. But once we are aware that we need to improve ourselves, we can gain emotional maturity at any age.

Photo: free-range stock

In simple words, someone who knows how to balance his emotions is an emotionally and mentally strong person. When someone is emotionally mature, not only does he become a better person for himself but his relationships also improve. Since he gets clear and concise, he knows how to deal with the problems of life.

Why is emotional maturity important?

Do you feel people unnecessarily make you angry or hurt you? Do you think you get triggered easily?

When you are faced with a situation where people target you, what do you do then? Do you immediately lash out at them? Do you sit in a corner and vent or do you run away? 

Well, whatever may be the case for you. In this blog post, you will find multiple ways to deal with your triggers and how to manage your responses after you get triggered by a specific thing or person.

The need to understand the emotional fog

Distracting/helpful coping behaviors to help you with unwanted situations

1. Exercising- Exercise releases endorphins, a natural pain reliever and antidepressant that improves mood and contributes to overall well-being, which lowers cortisol levels (the stress hormone). Any type of physical activity has been shown to have a positive impact on blood pressure, weight, heart disease, type 2 diabetes, insomnia, depression, anxiety, bone density, muscle strength, immune system, and joint mobility.

2. Hobbies and interests- A hobby or a particular interest can also be a source of distraction. Choose an activity right away if there is something you have always wanted to do or do more of. Any positive activity that can help you focus your attention on something creative or productive should be further encouraged. Housework, journaling, meditation, sewing, shopping, going out, reading, and playing are a few examples.

3. Volunteering- When you get flooded with negative experiences and you feel this rage to tackle the situation asap, that is where a distracting activity helps. There is no better way to feel good other than to help someone in need. Because at this moment, your focus is only on helping the other person without thinking about your own problem. Try offering soup to the homeless or taking the dog of your elderly neighbor on a walk. 

4. To-do list- Another excellent way to distract yourself from stress is to divert your attention to a to-do list. Your list could include household chores, organizational tasks, or personal projects. Some activities to keep yourself busy for a while can be ironing clothes, cleaning out the car, moving old clothes out from a closet, painting your home, washing windows, or sorting the mail. Do anything as per your convenience.

5. Self-care- I personally love this one. I am sure you guys would too like to do something for yourself. Engaging in a relaxing and soothing activity to pamper yourself is another way of showing love towards yourself. Pick out any self-care activity that you know will brighten up your day and make your muscles relax and get indulged into it. But please keep in mind that you should not become addicted to it. You simply cannot afford to spend your money on a manicure and pedicure every day. Try it yourself or do something else like watching the sun, listening to a guided meditation, taking a bath, etc.

Conclusion

Hence, these were some of the options that could help you combat negative thoughts and feelings. When you follow these steps, dealing with your emotional pain and triggers becomes simple.

Remember to Respond before you React!

In my e-book, It All Starts With You, I have listed multiple strategies to practice self-love that will boost your morale and improve your mental well-being.

Do you know our brains give more weight to negative responses than positive ones?

For instance, when you ask someone to not do something, or not go there, their mind will urge them to do the same. This is because the word "not" comes in the category of negative words.

Generally, we all get contemplated by seeing or hearing the negative news that goes on and on around us which sometimes takes a toll on our mental health. 

Some days we feel sad without even knowing the exact reason and, then we wonder why we are feeling this way. We even compare, criticize or complain about that situation but do not go back to understand the reason behind this.

source: think like a monk book ( by jay shetty)

Hence, to immediately improve your mood and be happy, you must first take responsibility. 

When you audit yourself for a day or a week, you can find out a lot about yourself.

Here, in this blog post, I will tell you a simple technique that the famous author, coach, and a former monk, Jay Shetty mentioned in his book: Think Like A Monk.

In his book, Jay Shetty discussed a simple yet effective technique that not only helps us to manage our emotions but also let us find the source of those disturbing thoughts that prevent us from being happy.

SPOT, STOP, SWAP TECHNIQUE

This is the technique that Jay Shetty talks about in most of his videos and as well as his book.  It is as follows:

Spot:

To spot means to become aware of the thing that is disturbing you. If you are feeling uneasy, it is important to spot your daily or weekly actions.  Try writing down the negative remarks you have made over the course of a week. See what you are uttering most of the time. Is it complaining or appreciation?

Stop:

When you understand what is causing you negativity, you can easily address it. Silence your negativity to make room for thoughts and actions that add to your life rather than detract from it. Begin with your breath. Take a few deep breaths and try to figure out your past actions. Which thing did you see last that was implanted in your subconscious mind? Or with whom did you talk last time? What conversations have you both had? Stop and figure it out.

Swap:

Now is the time to amend your heart, body, and mind. Once you have learned to spot and stop the negativity surrounding you, it's time to swap it with the opposite. Now, I know it is not possible to shut your eyes off the media and the incidents that happen on a daily basis. So, instead of mindlessly complaining and criticizing and disrupting your peace of mind, simply write down your feelings and emotions in a journal.

In this way, we can easily become mindful of how we speak, think, and act. Another way to swap your negative emotions is to think of the opposite of what is happening. If you do not like your current reality, change it in your mind and feel grateful as if it's already happened

How do we stay peaceful most of the time?

There is so much negativity in the environment, political atmosphere, and social media, but most importantly, it is in our hearts. Until we clean the toxicity and negativity inside our own hearts, we cannot expect the environment to change.

Work on cleaning your own heart.........

My new e-book It All Starts With You talks about loving oneself and being present in the current reality. 

What do you think about it? Do let me know!

With the daily turmoil we face, whether it is at work or in our family, it becomes hard to live a fulfilling and peaceful life.

Our hearts desire to have someone who constantly motivates us and boosts our self-esteem. While it's wonderful to have someone in your life who lifts your spirits, you must also recognize that you cannot rely on them every time you feel down.

Because everyone is fighting their own internal issues, it's unlikely that you'll have the support of others every time you're stuck in a situation or facing a life problem.

Some days, all you need is YOU to get through the day or the problem that you are currently facing. 

Hence, we must constantly remind ourselves that we can get through anything if we believe in ourselves. This is why I decided to share with you all 10 positive reminders that will help you get through any day, no matter how difficult it is.

So before you give your hands up, remember to read this blog post and take every message that resonates with you.

1. It's okay if all you did today was breathe- Sometimes we beat ourselves up if we have so much on our to-do list because we don't feel like doing anything. I want to tell you that it is completely fine if all you did today was breathe.  Just relax, take baby steps and you will surely feel better.

2. You are loved- All we need is one person to show us that they love us. Isn't it? And when we don't get that one person, we feel sad and heartbroken. But what if I tell you that you are loved by so many people, and especially by your body that works 24 hours a day to keep you going through. You just need to be with those people who genuinely love and care for you and you will feel how special you are.

3. Things are always working for you- Even if it doesn't seem like it, trust that you are being protected by your guardian angels, who love and care for you a lot. Whatever is happening is happening for your highest good. So trust the process.

4.  Happiness comes from within- You may think that if a certain thing happens or you get your loved ones back in your life, you will be happy. Of course, these things and people will add to your happiness but real happiness lives inside you. Just accept yourself as you are and you will feel immense happiness on the inside.

5. Everyday is a new beginning- The ending of something does not mean the end of life. Every day is a new beginning. It does not matter what you were yesterday. All that matters is what you are now. Remember that nothing, including negativity, lasts forever. They are doomed to disintegrate over time.

6. You are the one and only one- If you have the habit of keeping others on a pedestal, stop doing that because you are the most important person in your life. When you make others a top priority over you, that's where you lose yourself. Nothing and nobody is and should be above you.

7. What you give comes back to you- You need to instill in your mind that everything happens under the law of karma. This states that whatever you give, you will get. If you give jealousy, hatred, and negativity to others, you will get the same. The same applies to positive thoughts and feelings.  So think before you do harm to someone.

8.  A grateful heart is a magnet for miracles- Choosing gratitude brings contentment, joy, generosity, peace, forgiveness, and compassion, among other benefits. When you choose to reflect and find reasons to be grateful, you have less time to worry, grumble, live in fear, be bitter, and frustrated. So what are you grateful for now?

10. It is better to be alone than in bad company- Remind yourself that you do not have to indulge in a bad and toxic company just to avoid loneliness. Always seek the company of a wise, loving, and caring friend; if you don't find one, then be your own best friend. 

Do you also feel surrounded by voices in your head? Have you ever tried to listen to what those voices want to convey to you? 

Do you get encouraged or upset after listening to them?

Although I am not a professional therapist who can finish off your overthinking or negative thought patterns, I am a keen observer of my thoughts, and I constantly pay close attention to them.

If I go back six months, I will find a different version of myself. I used to trust everything my head said and that my mind was in charge of me.

But now, I am the one who controls my mind. After all, I am the operant power!

I know how it feels when your mind is constantly uttering useless and wasted thoughts that do not have any value in your life. Negative thoughts drain and soak up our energy, and we feel tired without even doing any physical work. 

Before we realize or become mindful of our thought patterns, the negative thinking has already manifested in our reality and we continue to live the same experience again and again.

What causes negative thoughts to make a home inside our heads?

We don't even realize how and when one small thought turns into a toxic life experience. 

These thoughts can appear out of nowhere and settle in our minds. These negative thought patterns can cause us various mental and physical health problems, such as social anxiety, depression, stress, and low self-esteem.

But always remember that you are not your thoughts. No matter how long you have been in the tunnel, there is always a ray of hope. 

Therefore, I am going to share some easy and simple ways through which you can stop these negative thoughts to cause distress in your daily life.

5 easy ways to stop letting your thoughts hamper your daily life:

When we start becoming more aware, more present, and more mindful just like I mentioned in my ebook (in the spiritual self-love section), we can easily get rid of these patterns.

Here are some easy ways that can help us reduce our negative thinking:

1. Write it out- One thing that really helped me come out of my negative thought patterns was that I used to write down the negative beliefs and assumptions I had about myself or anything related to what used to bother me. Then I used to burn that piece of paper. It gave me a sense of peace. Some of you may not be able to do so, so I recommend that you begin by jotting down whatever your mind is thinking and then read it consciously. This will provide you with clarity regarding your thoughts, as well as make you aware of your triggers, which you need to heal.

2. Be compassionate- We often beat ourselves up because of what we think. Instead of being polite and empathetic toward our mind and heart, we start being rude toward ourselves. But we forget that it is not someone else talking to us negatively, but our own inner child who wants to feel loved and seen. Hence, it is important to be compassionate towards yourself. To accomplish this, you must begin speaking positively to yourself and conversing with yourself as you would with your best friend. This way, you can quickly identify what is bothering you and what needs to be healed.

3. Take responsibility- This is the most important step to overcoming your negative beliefs. Instead of acknowledging how we feel, we let our thoughts control our day and our life. Before we even think of jumping out of that black hole, our negative thought patterns have already consumed most of the areas of our lives, and then we wonder why nobody wants to be with us. It is essential for us that we do not let negative thoughts hamper our beautiful life. Hence, the next time you feel something is wrong or you are not feeling good, take immediate action. Shift your focus to something else. No matter how difficult it feels for you to do so, do it anyway! Because you are the creator of your own reality. 

4. Switch to grateful mode- Another way to focus yourself on something creative and productive is by feeling your blessings. We already have an abundance of resources but our negative thoughts do not let them see and feel and force us to focus on things that we don't have. When you feel low or upset, it's good to have a gratitude list where you can deeply feel grateful for even the smallest things that make a huge impact on your life. A good example is the eyes through which you are reading this post.

5. Pause & reflect- We often don't realize how our negative thoughts are taking us into turmoil. These negative thoughts can easily affect our mood and our lives. So, it's very important to be in alignment with yourself. The moment you catch yourself feeling low or sad, pause and think, what are you thinking? Ask yourself if these thoughts are that important? Practice mindfulness for five minutes to overcome these negative thought patterns.

Conclusion

You are NOT what others say or your thoughts say. Your thoughts do not have power. It's you who categorize them as positive or negative and give them power.

Let go of every negative thought that lowers your self-esteem and fill your mind with good, fulfilling, and positive thoughts. Your mind is the most common place where you visit. Make sure, it is the best place for you.

With these simple steps, you will gradually learn to be more mindful and won't let any negative thoughts disturb your peace. You can also check my new e-book "It All Starts With You" which is a self-help guide that will take you on a new journey of self-love.

So how do you deal with disturbing thoughts? Tell us in the comment section below.

Are you tired of seeing people get out of your life? 

Do you want that one person in your life who will leave your side, no matter what?

Today, in this blog post, I will introduce you to someone who was always there beside you, but you were so blind that you couldn't see him.

Most of us have the habit of seeing ourselves through the eyes of others. Whatever someone says about us, our subconscious mind starts to dwell upon that thought and create it into our reality.

Because we have so little knowledge of self-love and self-esteem, we fall into the trap of judgment and the expectations of others. But we forget that we can only truly see ourselves through a "MIRROR".

Yes, the mirror is our best friend.

Have you heard of the quote that says: 

The mirror is my best friend. Because when I cry, it never laughs! 

The mirror is not only a tool to see how our body or hair looks but it is also a pathway to our inner self if we take a deep look into our eyes.

We don't even realize that the person or a connection we are chasing or seeking is just beside us, and we do everything on the outside to make things work between us and others.

When we see a mirror, we see a reflection of ourselves. It is up to us whether we want to see it in a good way or a bad way. It is, without a doubt, the most effective weapon for inner transformation, raising self-esteem from low levels of obsessive self-criticism to the constant declaration of eternal truth. Our inner self is the most attractive since it is free of flaws and scars.

If you are searching for that one person who will change your life, look in the mirror!

I want you to stop reading this blog post right now, and go towards the mirror. Get up and take a look in the mirror. Examine your eyes; if you are uncomfortable, turn your gaze to your nose for one minute.

See the person in the mirror and describe its five qualities. The way you will explain it will determine the relationship you have with yourself.

If you see a beautiful, hardworking, and charming person, it indicates that you have a healthy relationship with yourself; on the other hand, if you say the person in the mirror is stupid, unworthy of love, and suffers from imposter syndrome, it indicates that you have an unhealthy relationship with yourself.

If you do not have a good relationship with yourself, you will never be good enough with your other relations. It all begins with our inward reflection. If you do not clean what is inside, nothing will get better on the outside.

Here are 3 reasons to make a mirror your best friend:

1. No one knows you better than yourself- The person you see in the mirror is you. It's time to know that you are worthy of all the great things in life. Start making out time for yourself. Start talking to the person you see in the mirror every day as it will help you to know yourself better.

2. How you see yourself is how others see you- If you have this habit of criticizing yourself every time you look at yourself, this is how others will respond to you. On the other hand, when you love and respect yourself, you will not tolerate anything less from your friends and family; you will have a higher standard for how you expect to be treated.

3. It is a loving and safe space- When you start approving the person you see in the mirror, it creates a safe space around you. You make yourself free from judgments and criticism. You start seeing yourself in a different and loveful way. In other words, your connection with yourself becomes strong and harmonious.

Conclusion

While running behind our goals and chasing outside attention, we often forget to take care of ourselves.

Not only do we get indulged in taking care of others but we also let others decide our worth.

In today's time, it's important to be kind towards yourself too. Kindness makes our lives worth living. Kindness makes our lives peaceful and those around us too.

So imagine when we start being kind towards ourselves. What would it be like?

Why should we be kind towards ourselves?

First of all, congratulations to you!

You took out time for yourself and decided to read this blog post, which will help you attain emotional maturity.

If you think that because you are of a certain age, it means you are an emotionally mature person, then let me tell you that you are wrong.

Emotional maturity has nothing to do with age contrary to physical growth. An emotionally mature person uses his mind and heart perfectly while also taking control over his emotions. It also does not mean that you are a fool because you are immature. Sometimes, we are not able to grasp the learnings from education or our life's mistakes. But once we are aware that we need to improve ourselves, we can gain emotional maturity at any age.

Photo: free-range stock

In simple words, someone who knows how to balance his emotions is an emotionally and mentally strong person. When someone is emotionally mature, not only does he become a better person for himself but his relationships also improve. Since he gets clear and concise, he knows how to deal with the problems of life.

Why is emotional maturity important?